This song was recorded before I left town for the Pink Papaya national conference. It was a song I'd heard a couple of years ago
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I may be ill this week, but I'm not skipping my weekly video. It's time again for another musical medley mashup!
This time, it's the most well known Sunday song of all time (that classic Commodores hit, "Easy") with a little country thrown in for good measure (that Tim McGraw hit "Watch The Wind Blow By").
Lionel wrote his song as a breakup tune, while the other is just a feel good, kick back love song. Put the two together, and it's a fun little anthem about freedom and doing what you love on your own timetable. Enjoy!
Four ounces.
It's approximately what the iPhone 5 (and a variety of other every day items) weighs.
And since the start of the year, that's my net weight loss for all of 2014.
Four ounces.
For the past two years, I've logged my daily weight (well, as often as possible), high or low, I've watched my body fluctuate around the same 10 pounds. And I'm still 90 pounds away from what most reasonable people would consider a healthy weight for my age and body type.
To an outsider, four ounces is laughable. It's barely a tick on the scale, and yet it's one worth celebrating.
Why?
Because I'm past the half-way point of the year, and I'm still trending downward.
See, I started the year above my normal weight - by about 3.5 pounds. That means, not only have I lost that extra baggage from the holidays (and my birthday party!), it means I've actually made progress toward my ultimate goal.
Plus, in June, I started a 3-day fast, which gave shaved another 4+ pounds off the scale. But I didn't fast for weight reasons (more on that in another post), so when the fast ended, I wasn't surprised to see some of that weight return.
But not those four ounces!
I'm no small woman. I know that. I also know that there are lots of moving parts to my own weight loss journey. Food sensitivities, emotional eating, and other stuff I'm just now discovering. Like my Cinderella complex. For as independent as I am, I keep hoping my Fairy Godmother will come with her magic wand and miraculously flush that 90 pounds off my body, give me a gorgeous dress and send me off to The Ball in my fancy glass slippers.
My coach called me on it this week. When I told her about my resistance to following through on my weight loss goals, she pointed out how good I am at getting things done - when it's a priority for me.
Zorch. She got me. It's fun to talk about what I've done well. It's sexy to talk about plans and goals.
I've worked over the last six months to see that four ounces - but not consistently. I'd put my head down for a while - anywhere from 5-21 days, and then I'd shrink back. I gave my power over to other people and put myself in a position where I didn't have healthy options available to me.
One of the practices I've instituted this year is re-commitment. It's easy to get on board with something, but when you hit The Dip, it's also easy to fall off that bandwagon, and never return. Re-commitment is permission to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start over again with what you've said matters.
When the scale starts climbing, or the exercise gets monotonous, it's easy to give up, grab a jar of Nutella, and forget about what really matters.
When your friends invite you to go fun places - like Cops & Doughnuts in Clare - it's easy to get lost in a sea of sugary goodness and succumb to the temptation of tasty treats. It's easy to give up on your long term goal for some short term socialization and delicious debauchery.
And in some ways, I did. In others, I didn't. At the end of the trip (which was fabulous, by the way. Did you see my mugshot on Facebook?), I hadn't gained a pound.
Of course, I hadn't lost any, either. But my wins included:
One week later, and I can proudly proclaim I'm down almost 2 pounds from the trip - and then there's those glorious four ounces.
Re-commitment takes guts. It takes courage to say "Hey, I fell down, and I'm not gonna stay down." It takes balls to say "I made a disempowering choice (or series of choices), but I'm going to get back on track."
It takes cojones to say "Yep, I've dropped the ball regularly on this in the past, but now, I'm re-committing, doing some things differently, and we'll see how this time goes."
And it takes supreme levels of courage to do that in the face of well-intentioned friends and even haters, who've seen you fall and don't expect you to ever get back up.
When you do get back up (because you're awesome like that), you celebrate that win. Dance! Sing! Shout! Tell your friends! Paint a mural! Blog about it! Take pictures!
Even if it's "only" four ounces.
Don't focus on the thirty-eight steps you still have to go to see the finish line. Just focus on the step right in front of you. Take THAT step and see what shows up. Then take the next step, and see what shows up.
Rinse and repeat until you see the finish line.
You've got this. I believe in you.
See you there!
"Let me be a lesson to you of what NOT to do."
When you're a celebrity on par with Jonah Hill, that's probably not the ideal phrase to be uttering to your fans. In this case, though, Jonah's sincere apology on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon after being caught on camera making a grossly inappropriate comment has done a lot to mend fences.
[I'll also go on the record as being ignorant, because I didn't realize the comment he made was now considered "a homophobic slur". I grew up hearing that phrase from men and women alike in my neighborhood. Not that it was a pleasant thing to hear, I was just a little surprised that it was a nuanced term.]
From the paparazzi video, it's hard to know exactly what was said, but Jonah indicated he and his family were being verbally attacked on a personal level by the photographer and "was genuinely hurt by this... and in response wanted to hurt him back".
To borrow a line from The Dixie Chicks: "There's your trouble!"
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Each time I go to my coach's weekend intensives, I always walk away with lots of ideas that pop like "popcorn" over the coming weeks. Sometimes they come in the most unusual ways.
For example, I was back in my hotel room, kind of winding down for the night. After a weekend like this, you can be emotionally raw, which means I can cry at the drop of a hat.
This video took me over the edge. Not only is it a powerful display of courage, but also conviction, commitment, and to staying the course when it comes to owning your dreams. Watch (you might need tissue), and I'll share some key lessons after. (more…)
Every time my family and I make the trek to North Carolina to visit my in-laws, there's one place I have to stop.
It's called JR, and it claims to be "The World's Largest Cigar Store." I don't know if that's true or not, but every time we plan a trip to Statesville, I try to finagle my way to JR... but not for cigars.
To be clear, cigars don't do it for me. I don't smoke, never have, and can't see a time in my future when I ever will. Heck, my Dad died from lung cancer. After Mom's heart attack, her doctor told her to stop smoking. She didn't. She died. So I know that smoking is one dead end road I have no intention of travelling.
Like any good nerd, I'm there for the books. JR has an extensive selection of best selling books and a few out of print or hard to find titles, as well as books on tape, and other media. To a bookworm like me, it's like putting a $20 in the slot machine in Vegas and hitting the jackpot.
Unfortunately, this last time I was there, the selection of books was grossly diminished. The book section was maybe half the size it was a couple of years ago. I started grumbling to myself about how I was actually going to have money left in my pocket when I was done shopping. There are usually so many good books - hard to find, out of print, and best sellers - that I have to use decide which books to leave on the shelves because I just don't have enough money. I walked out with three titles to add to my bookshelf, and a whole lot of change from that $20 bill.
He was laying in that hospital bed for several days. Stubborn, cantankerous.
He'd had difficulty breathing when they admitted him, but this eighty year-old man was a fighter, and while he hadn't been eating well for the past few weeks, his strength was contagious. His children, gathered in the room, listened to him tell off the nurses, the doctors, and just about everyone that entered the room.
He talked about how he wasn't done living yet. He just bought a new house. He just celebrated his 80th birthday. He had a grandson he wanted to watch grow up. He was a vigorous "old dude" that didn't give up easily.
His vitals looked good, and no one knew what was causing the trouble. All signs pointed to stress, maybe from making that move, or not getting enough rest.
After a couple of days in the hospital, test results came back.
"You've got a tumor the size of a baseball on your lung. It's causing pressure on your stomach when you eat too much, which, is presumably why you're not eating." the doctor said.
"Cancer?" said the old man. "Well, I guess that's it."
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It started innocently, as revolutions often do.
I've been working (and re-working) my branding and messaging for the past year, and nothing really seemed to hit the mark. I dove into course after course that offered bits and pieces of what I was hoping would help me craft a clearer direction for me as both an artist and entrepreneur. As usual, some were better than others. While class is still in session in at least one of those programs, I want to update you on a major ah-ha I got from Revolution U579, the brainchild of author and all-round good guy, Jonathan Fields.
It probably sounds better when the Beatles sing it. Jonathan's premise is that instead of creating a business, we can create a commercial revolution that sets us apart in our industry as well as in the minds of our biggest fans. We stand for something bigger than just the "stuff" we sell.
That sounds like a pretty sexy idea to me.
RevU takes you through a series of exercises and prompts to ultimately identify the core idea of your revolution. Jonathan asks what you're moving away from and what will supplant the old dictatorial regime. For me, it boiled down to one simple idea:
As kids, our hearts are full of whimsical fantasies and never-ending stories about our biggest dreams. Firemen, princesses580, becoming a rock star. We keep on dreaming until, one day, something happens, or someone else enters our lives and slowly, those dreams get squashed, squelched, or otherwise relegated to some dusty corner in the attic of our minds581... often to never be revisited again.
582That's when death begins. It's slow, plodding, and sad. Most of the time, we don't even realize it's happening to us. Someone tells us we're too loud, or too enthusiastic, or a bit obnoxious about our dream, so we turn the volume down. Little by little, (more…)
[Note: I originally wrote this post a few years ago, for my Business Action Hero website. I've refreshed it here because it's still relevant - maybe now more than ever.]
"If you are deliberately trying to create a future that feels safe, you will willfully ignore the future that is likely.”
- Seth Godin
It hit me between the eyes. This painful, jarring sensation at far too early on a Sunday morning - on a holiday weekend no less. This strange need for safety that we all seem to crave - even go out of our way to re-inforce.
Even if the result is less comfortable than pursuing change.
We don't want to rock the boat and get people mad at us. So we stay in the comfort zone. Maybe we push a little here and there, but we're not really making true progress on our own path.
It's here where we have to choose:
Because safety is the ultimate risk. Hoping and praying that nothing will change. Images of ostriches with their heads in the sand come to mind. They can't see that tornado bearing down on them, but golly, they sure feel safe!
[tweet "When it comes to owning your dreams, safety is the ultimate risk."]
Back in 2010, I had the honor of interviewing best-selling author Jonathan Fields about the upside of being an entrepreneur. During that interview, he said something that has stayed with me:
"There is no sideways in life. It's an illusion. There's only up and down. Usually this is the most horrifying scenario of all."
- Jonathan Fields
At first, I didn't want to believe it, but my own experience has validated that there's no standing still. You're either moving forward (as you define it) or you're getting left behind. When I interviewed him again for his second book, "Uncertainty", he offered up this gem:
"If you want to do great things in the world, you have to go to a place where you don't know how it's going to end."
- Jonathan Fields
(You can listen to that interview here.)
Since then, he's launched the Good Life Project and Revolution U, all the while, going where he'd never gone before. It's been fascinating and fun to watch. Clearly, this is a guy that continues to choose "adventure" over "safety".
Safety is your nemesis.
I don't mean you should recklessly throw caution to the wind. We need to be smart about the risks we're taking. Safety and security is one thing most of us crave - it's the foundation of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Without it, we don't feel like we can move forward.
But once we "have" it, we're less likely to move forward because of it. Safety means we don't have to push, strive, or work as hard because, well, we're safe, and nothing's going to happen to us in our safe space, right?
That's a wicked catch-22.
Safety works hard to keep you stuck - just as hard as you work to plow forward in your adventure.
"What if they don't like it?"
"What if they think I'm crazy?"
"What if it flops?"
"What will _____ say?"
"That's too hard/easy/fast/slow/tedious/tiresome/boring/good for me."
"I'd love to but I don't have enough ______ (or I am not ____ enough)."
We judge ourselves so harshly that we don't give ourselves a fighting chance. Let's change that!
Remember: perfection is an illusion. You're already as perfect as you're gonna get. You're human. To expect perfection 100% of the time will only cause more judgement (pain, resentment, frustration). Stuff happens that we call "failure". Big deal. Take a moment to celebrate the wins, stop staring at the door that closed, and look for your next steps.
The nature of a nemesis is that it has an equivalent level of power and sway. Think of The Joker and Batman, Prof. Moriarty and Sherlock Holmes. A nemesis is not easily defeated, but can be thwarted and often contained. It is when you underestimate your nemesis that it takes a foothold, and often wins a battle or two.
Simple, but not easy.
It was a business trip. 8 days in sunny Vegas, while my family was snowbound, just HAD to have some kind of a story, right?
SPOILER: this one begins with guilt, shame, and resentment, and ends up with me feeling like a princess, and six lessons you can use in the pursuit of your dreams.
Let me break it down for ya...
It began as most business trips do: with lots to do and not much time to get it all done. Between flights, a showroom rearrange before the annual January Gift Market, and training for the sales reps - not to mention the Gift Show itself, I really didn't expect to have any time to "enjoy" Vegas. I was, after all, there for work. An earlier version of myself would have holed up in my hotel room during all off hours and either slept (to make up for the time zone shift) or worked (because, well, I'm an overachiever like that).
Not this time. (more…)