I really enjoyed the time I spent this year in "the studio" - aka my living room working on songs and learning the ins and outs of the recording equipment. My BHAG of recording 300 songs this year, however, went by the wayside for some very good reasons.
First, I had some major family issues crop up - that we were completely unaware of - that led to serious legal stuff. We're STILL dealing with the legal stuff, and the fallout from the legal stuff may take years to deal with. Family care and safety are top priorities for me, so naturally, I had to make room for those priorities. In the face of the safety of my kids, 300 songs pales grossly in comparison.
Second, we had some wonderful surprises come up. New jobs, new directions, and new opportunities I never could have planned for. That means making room for them if I want to experience them. Again, those 300 songs just weren't as appealing as the other opportunities.
But then, judgement sets in. And I start to think I'm somehow "less than" because I didn't meet my goal. Today's video uncovers the BS of that sentiment.
After a long drive yesterday, I managed to squeak into Wisconsin just as the clock struck midnight last night - or thereabouts. And my body clock was just getting used to the daylight savings turn-back and now I'm in a new time zone.
The things I put my body through. 🙂
At any rate, I got on the road for Eagan and once I had lunch, we were busy bees getting things ready for an event my friend and colleague hosts every November. So, I thought it was fitting to take one of the lessons I've learned from her and share it with you today.
Where do you find yourself getting stuck and "judgemental" about what you can or aren't able to do? How do you navigate it?
I made a promise. After we gave away more than 1000 copies of The Secret Watch during our Amazon promotion, I figured I needed to keep my word and do a backflip.
Well, I don't know HOW to do a back flip - yet.
But I had my first lesson on Sunday:
That was as far as I got by the end of the night. Not quite a back flip, more of a backflop. 🙂
Pretty close, but didn't get my legs in fast enough. The landing kinda hurt, and I'm still wearing a heat pack today. But I'm encouraged. Who knew I could throw myself over my own head like that? I sure didn't!
And my coaches, Matt and Allison were super helpful. LOVE YOU GUYS!
[Note: This is the first in a series of what I hope will be daily video posts. I've got a lot on my mind, and writing feels too slow. We'll see how this "daily" thing goes, but today's eclipse gave me a bunch of ideas. Here's the first one. Enjoy!]
What are you "shedding" this fall? How are you taking advantage of all the changing energies to clear space and get yourself ready for the new year?
Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year, and while I love seein my kid get dressed up, it always bums me when the parents (who do most of the heavy lifting, let's be honest), get the short end of the "treat" stick.
Yup. You heard me. Amazon is making The Secret Watch free to download today. I'm hoping we can get the story into the hands of 500 new readers. Just think what a difference that would make for helping people define success on their own terms and create the work life balance they crave.
Here's the link: http://amzn.to/11NiW86
No tricks. Just enjoy this Halloween treat before Amazon pulls the plug tomorrow!
One of the perks of working for myself is the ability to create my own schedule for the day. One of my "must do" activities each morning is prayer and meditation as part of The PEACE System. It helps me clear my head and prioritize my day so that I can be my best self and do my best work with fewer distractions.
Well, one morning during meditation, I was struck with this vision of Dorothy jaunting down the yellow brick road on her way to the Emerald City. At least, I presumed that's where she was going. And then I saw her face... (more…)
My 4th grade teacher was a smart, sassy redhead. I remember overnight lock-ins, a science experiment that involved having the cute boys in class smell my perfume, and making a board game about whales, of all things.
She had an infectious spirit that made you want to learn. When I think about the short list of good teachers that I had as a kid, she was very near the top. Penny (and when we were really lucky, her kids and husband would be around the classroom, too) was one of those teachers that believed in you - and by extension helped you to believe in yourself.
And she's still making an impact in my life, to this day... since she's also a Facebook friend.
After my recent car incident, I've spent a lot of time ruminating on "the meaning of life" and all that jazz. I've been reading Chopra, Blanchard, delving into purpose, watching videos, listening to audios - and basically reassessing a lot of what has meaning in my life.
A powerful reminder from Mike Michalowicz, author of The Pumpkin Plan and The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur.
So I have this friend/colleague who was once a great client (I'm happy to admit that happens pretty frequently in my business), and she's doing this amazing love experiment. She's making her coaching available as part of the gift economy.
It's humbling and awesome to watch.
And when I get that twinge, I know it's a sign. A sign of something in me that wants something that I imagine must be happening on that "greener side of the fence" - whether or not it's really happening.
Envy is interesting when you step back and look at it "rationally". I use the quotes, because I still question whether or not it's really possible to be rational about our emotions, but I digress...
See, envy makes assumptions. Often, it's not the THING that someone else has that you really want. It's what you think you'll experience by having that thing.
In my heart, I assume that Rhiannon's getting all kinds of success, exposure and love from her community for offering her uh-mazing coaching services in this way.
Shocking, but true: back in 1994, an unknown, unsigned artist had a number one hit. Lisa Loeb's "Stay (I Missed You)" became the spring board for an enduring career for the bespectacled artist - one that took a more traditional turn when she signed with Geffen Records.
Back then, it was almost unthinkable for a musical artist to go the independent route. In fact, had Loeb not lived across the street from Ethan Hawke, it's possible her song would never have made it into "Reality Bites" (and on to make history). "The industry" pretty much controlled airplay, exposure, income and identity for anyone that wanted to be a successful, profitable musical act. So it made good sense back then to get signed as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, that could also mean a lot of "compromise" - from your sound, to your look, and all points in between. IF you wanted to be "successful" you had to be willing to relinquish your identity as an artist (just ask (more…)
[Note: This isn't a topic I get to blog about much, because, well, my skin color is usually irrelevant to the work I'm doing in the world (funny how that works, huh?). I've been very fortunate that the bulk of the racist remarks I've dealt with in my life stemmed from ignorant classmates during my school days. There was that one dumb co-worker, but I'll just chalk that up to his old age and inability to grasp multi-ethnicity. Fortunately, he's part of a dying breed, and a relic of a by-gone era, that hopefully never returns.]
Growing up as a multi-racial kid in a blended family wasn't easy.
I was called all kinds of names every day on the school bus. My favorite?
Zebra. The black kids thought I was "too white to be black" and the white kids thought "I was too black to be white". It was the one term they could all agree on.
As a "Zebra" I was delightfully different (okay, it wasn't so delightful then, but I digress). Able to embrace both my white-ness and my black-ness - regardless of how derogatory the term was meant to be. It was certainly better than "honkey" or that "n" word that still floats around in certain circles.
So imagine my delight (and my surprise) when I found this (more…)
Last year, I was introduced to a concept that I've continued to grapple with from time to time. The picture below is taken from page 61 of Dr. Maria Nemeth's book "The Energy of Money". It's an illustration that one of her teachers once shared with her:
When my coach first introduced it to me, it made perfect sense. I spent little time trying to understand it, and a TON of time trying to figure out where I was on that path.
I recognized I spent a lot of time pretending, a little time being afraid, and almost NO time embracing who I really am.
Sadly, my own experience as a coach tells me I'm not the only person living this way.
These three identities: The Pretender, The Coward, and True Self show up at various moments (more…)
For some of us, there comes a time in life when it feels like everyone has given up on you.
You might even feel like giving up on yourself.
Don't.
As I write this, I've just returned from spending the day in the hospital with my oldest son. Suffice it to say he's on the brink of giving up on himself. He waffles, as I suspect many teenagers do, between thinking he's the greatest thing since sliced bread and seriously wondering why anyone "wastes" their time with him.
If you've followed me for any length of time, you know the trials (more…)
by Erin Margolin
[Editor's note: This is day 23 of the Be Your Own Guru series. Ever had a controversial project that you just KNEW would be amazing if you could get it in front of the right people? If you have ever wanted to rally a throng of people around your dream, if you've ever considered using crowdfunding to raise money for a project, here's a real-life example of someone who did it. I met Erin at a conference a couple of years ago, and never dreamed that she would one day be spearheading a campaign to support children with gay parents. The Gay Dad Project is a documentary that Erin and several of her colleagues are working on - and they raised more than $20,000 in support of that project. But it wasn't without it's hassles - and many lessons learned. I asked Erin if she would share some of those lessons, along with some encouragement for those of you that have a dream in your heart that may not be easy to bring into the world.]
Referenced in the video:
Learn more about The Gay Dad Project
The Gay Dad Project on IndieGoGo
ERIN MARGOLIN is a New Orleans native, writer, mama of three girls, and co-founder of The Gay Dad Project. After years of always saying yes she’s learned to say no sometimes, because she’s found that "yes" is best reserved for what matters most: her blog, the LTYM Show in Kansas City, and making a documentary about growing up with a gay dad a reality. She also loves books, antique typewriters, Kendall-Jackson Chardonnay, social media, yoga pants and playing Memory with her twins, who always, always win. You can connect with Erin on Twitter and Facebook, as well as on her personal blog.
[Note: This is Day 17 in the Be Your Own Guru series. Today is also the re-launch of Dr. Eldon Taylor's book "I Believe: When What You Believe Matters". This post contains excerpts from his book. It's also an exploration of our brain's "efficiency trap" that keeps us mired in self-limiting beliefs.]
When I was a kid, I looked up to my grandmother.
Grandma was a looker as a young lass. She even sang in a local nightclub with her sister. The story goes that one night, when her boyfriend couldn't come to pick her up from work at the club, he sent his brother to bring her home. That "brother" went on to be my grandfather. That's their wedding picture on the left.
Even though she was "old" by kid standards, Grandma was cool and refined. She knew how to put on makeup and wear a dress (something my mom NEVER did), after a day of working in the yard, getting her hands dirty... and it always looked effortless and matter-of-fact with Grandma.
Okay, I still aspire to (more…)
More than half a lifetime ago, my grandmother was dying. Just a summer earlier, Grandpa was in the hospital during their 50th wedding anniversary party. While he made a full recovery, her health began fading as we went back to school in September. Over the course of the next few months, as winter blew in, it became clear that it would be her last Christmas with us. We just didn't know how few months we'd actually have with her. Before spring arrived, she was gone. (more…)
Over the last few months, I've been digging into what I really enjoy: music (over 30 songs are in the can now!), performing (check my upcoming gigs here), and learning about people. Specifically, I've been swimming through books like these about finding and living your true purpose. Ultimately, it all comes down to two things: connecting to your soul, and leading with your strengths.
Coming from someone that espouses the notion that you can follow your passion, build a Noble Empire and live an inspired life, that sounds kind of blasphemous, right? Well, let me explain...
See, you can't be whatever you want to be. You MUST be exactly who you are called to be. Sometimes, when our passion is aligned with our divine gifts, then we CAN be whatever we want to be, because what we want to be is exactly who we are called to be. But you can't just pick something because you see someone else doing it - or even because you might be proficient at it.
Is that confusing? Let me try again, with a little help from "Kung Fu Panda":
When "life happens" we buy into the illusion of control that Master Shifu so ardently defends and Master Oogway tenderly releases. I've maintained for a very long time that we are all born with what I call "undeniable gifts" - our personal arsenal of strengths that are meant to move us through this world with confidence toward success. When our gifts aren't suited to the demands that life throws in our face at any given moment, we dig in, start learning and "adapting" ourselves away from our strengths (instead of reaching out to get help from someone else who IS skilled at the issue we face).
We see our limitations as a deficiency on our part - something we've got to fix - instead of celebrating our innate, interdependent design.
What happens for many of us, though, is that, instead of returning to what we've been blessed to be good at once the storm is over, our strengths get buried, neglected, or overlooked in favor of those more "useful" skills. Your True Voice gets silenced.
It's then that our masterpiece gets covered over, stored away for a future day.
Many times, we never return, never dust off that masterpiece, and never display it with pride - because we're spending way too much time trying to fix what's broken, improve what's not working, instead of celebrating the glorious way God made us to be in this world.
Tom Rath said it best: "You cannot be anything you want to be - but you can be a lot more of who you already are."
Home Depot was faced with a big decision: keep growing at the expense of current stores, or reign in growth and tighten up what they're already doing to create more loyal customers. They knew when to call it quits and focus on what they do best. In an era when everyone is focused on "bigger" and "grow", Home Depot said "Hey, let's refine what's already working!" and they've seen great success in that.
What about you?
Are you focusing on what you do well, or bemoaning the fact that you're doing all kinds of stuff just to survive? Are you even in the arena of your undeniable gifts anymore, or have you locked that masterpiece up somewhere in the dusty attic of your ancient past?
It took me almost a decade to return to music with any meaningful effort. It's something I'm damn good at, but as a mom and wife, well it's not such a useful skill. Changing diapers, cleaning house, and keeping peace took priority over piano practice, learning new music, and touring.
"Life happened" all over me - and with it, the "shoulds". I let my own gifts go unnoticed because I was trying to be a better mom, wife and housekeeper. There just wasn't time left in my day to sing the songs God had already planted in my heart.
But somewhere inside my head, I had drummed up the notion that I was a bad person if I didn't learn how to do all that other stuff. An while it's true, we all need to learn some skills outside our comfort zone, it's important to remember that we've been blessed with gifts that will nurture us when we share them with the world.
I'm changing that now. I'm returning to my regular rehearsal schedules, dusting off old tunes, and for the first time in a long time, I'm even writing new ones. And the world responds accordingly. New contacts arise and new opportunities are offered in alignment with my dharma. I'm speaking more, getting on stage more, and in general, loving more of what life is offering. In short, I'm being more of who I already am, and less of what I'm not.
It's not always easy, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Far too many of us walk around regurgitating what others have said, doing what others have done, that we forget about our own "you-nique-ness", as I've called it before. We want "blueprints" and insider help from a so-called "guru". We want the answers when we don't even always know the questions yet.
Yet, we see and understand truths we don't always articulate. We hear the voices in the heads of those around us not yet courageous enough to say what they're thinking. Sometimes we're one of them, and sometimes we speak up, step out, and shine a little - even if only for a moment.
One woman I know said it was like a big target was on her back. To her, being visible meant people were poised to attack her the minute she began to shine.
I hope I'm not the only one here who relates to that idea.
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