Can I be blunt for a moment?
I can't STAND the phrase "take your business to the next level". I think it's overused and too generic to have any real meaning.
And that's EXACTLY why so many business coaches - especially in the online world - use it. Yes. I use it too... which is part of what bugs me about it!
It's a blanket, "catch-all" phrase that allows them to paint a huge picture without really saying anything at all. You're left to use your imagination to figure out what "next level" really means.
I mean, I get it. It's a phrase that resonates for folks because it suggests progress and growth. Going up the elevator from the ground floor to the penthouse. That idea of "started from the bottom, now we're here."
But it's so generic! Taking your business to the next level could mean increasing your revenue, expanding your customer base, or improving your marketing strategies. By using a broad and flexible phrase like "take your business to the next level," a coach can appeal to a wide range of potential clients and highlight the various benefits they offer.
Which is great for the coach, but not necessarily great for you.
You don't want generic outcomes, you want specific help tailored to your situation. That's why you hire a coach in the first place! And the kind of "next-level" lift you need may not actually be what that coach is offering.
What if you need help through an audience pivot? I did. I needed specific help from someone who understands how to do an audience pivot. The idea of "taking my business to the next level" meant reaching more of those new, perfect-fit audience members. So, I put out a call to find a new coach, and what I got back was very telling.
I was specific in my request. Dozens of folks raised their hands and when I went to their websites to vet them more than HALF of them were talking about "next level" results.
Gag me.
Most of the coaches I talked to couldn't help me until I was already pivoted. But not with help finding these folks. Which, you know, needs to happen before I can market my offers to them!
So why raise your hand in the first place?
I ended up wasting a LOT of time talking to people who were good at things that I didn't even ask for! All because they wouldn't be specific enough in their marketing and messaging to help me understand what they offer and how they could REALLY help me... or if they understood my problem at all!
Using a common phrase like "take your business to the next level" can be a helpful shorthand for communicating the overall goal of their coaching services. It's a quick and catchy way to get potential clients interested in what they have to offer, and cast a wide net, but when you need specific help, this phrase is mostly worthless.
If "take your business to the next level" can mean different things for different people, depending on their goals and aspirations, then you have no real clarity. It could mean pushing past your current limits, reaching new heights, and tapping into your full potential as a business owner and as an individual, just as easily as it could mean expanding your customer base, increasing your revenue, improving your products or services, and creating more value for your customers.
That's a painting with a VERY broad brush!
No wonder potential clients get confused, throw their hands up, and walk away!
Specificity is clarity. Clarity builds confidence, which feeds your ability to take courageous actions (like saying YES and hiring a new coach!)
To make the term "take your business to the next level" meaningful, have in mind specific examples of what that might look or feel like for you.
For instance, taking your business to the next level could mean achieving a certain revenue target, expanding your customer base, launching a new product or service, or simply improving your overall brand image and reputation. It could also mean feeling more fulfilled and passionate about the work you do, having more freedom and flexibility in your schedule, and feeling more confident and empowered in your ability to make a difference in your industry.
If you're not clear about what you want or need from a coaching experience, you're more likely to be lured into "next level" language that doesn't get you where you really want to go.
Sadly, most coaches aren't providing specific examples so potential clients can better understand the value of choosing them. Instead, they're relying on lazy "next level" language that isn't helping you at ALL.
But you can make smart decisions by being clear and upfront with what you want or need from a coach. Don't equivocate. Ask them directly: how can you help me achieve x?
Don't let "next level" jargon hypnotize you into saying yes if you're not clear the coach can help.
And if you're ready to get real support to build a business that works for how you're wired to work, let's talk! A few seats are still available for this month's Cashflow Creator business model workshop series. Together, we'll design (or redesign) your business to be in alignment and integrity with what matters most to you and how you're uniquely wired to work.
For years, I've held connection calls where I hop on zoom for 20-30 minutes to get to know a new networking connection. Invariably, a business question pops up and most of the time I can spot a solution to their issue before the end of the call.
In many of these cases, I was able to help them see a way to open up a new income stream, refine a system or process, or just make their business easier in a matter of minutes. Not long ago, I was talking with a guy and by the end of the call we'd mapped out a new approach to one of his existing offers.
That new approach landed him a $15,000 deal later that same day.
I know that might sound a bit unbelievable, but I have receipts. This was both a blessing and a curse for me. A blessing, because I've been able to help hundreds of people over the years. A curse because, for years, I didn't really know how I was doing it.
So, I finally sat down and spent time examining how my brain works... the questions I was asking in order to get those kinds of results for total strangers.
That's how the Creative Freedom Business Model Equation was born! Once I had it worked out, I tested it with a few of my clients before rolling it out in last year's CashFlow Creator Workshop.
I'm excited to announce that we've re-opened the doors to this popular workshop and I'll be hosting it again this month!
The Cashflow Creator Workshop is designed for entrepreneurs and business owners who want to create a business that reflects their personality, voice, and style and connects with more of their ideal clients and customers with greater ease. More money, more time to enjoy it. A business that works for how you're wired to work.
Whether you're just starting out or looking to rebrand and redesign your business, this workshop will provide you with the guidance and support you need to succeed. By the end of the workshop series, you'll have a personalized roadmap for building or refining your business, based on your unique lifestyle and goals.
This 5-day workshop series, running from April 17-21, will provide you with the tools and guidance you need to design a business model that works for how you're wired to work. Each day, we'll focus on one part of the Creative Freedom Business Model Equation. By the end of the workshop, you'll have a comprehensive understanding of what is and isn't working in your business and how to fix it.
Day one of the workshop will focus on the first part of the Equation: You. We'll dive deep into what really matters for you, including your values, personal context, and the mission/vision for your business. We'll look at how those things play together and what your non-negotiables are to actually feel successful. At the end of the day, you'll be able to communicate clearly the strengths that you bring to the table through your company, and what's most important for you - both personally and professionally - so that you can have a business that supports you to have more of what you want and less of what you don't!
On Day 2, we'll dive deep into the "why" of your business. Not YOUR personal "why" - although that's important, too. Instead, we'll explore why you're in this line of work, what motivates and inspires you, and what makes you uniquely qualified to do what you do. We'll also examine the core purpose of your business, the change you want to see in the world, and the impact you want to have on your customers or clients. By the end of the day, you'll have a clear understanding of the driving force behind your business, which will help you create a brand message that resonates with your ideal audience and sets you apart from the competition.
On Day 3, we'll dive into the "who" of your business model equation. We'll take a deep dive into your ideal clients from a different angle - those who already resonate with your "you" and "why" elements. Instead of trying to conjure up some niche market out of thin air, we want to connect more deeply with people who already resonate with who you are and why you do what you do. We'll explore who your ideal customers are, where they hang out, what they want and need, and how your business can best serve them. By the end of the day, you'll have a clear picture of who your business is for, and how to speak directly to their needs and desires.
On day four, we'll dive into the "what" element of your business model. We'll explore the transformation your offer provides for your clients or customers and identify any gaps or areas for improvement in your current offers. This day is all about fine-tuning your offers so they are aligned with your unique value proposition and the needs of your ideal clients or customers.
Day five will be dedicated to the "how" of your business model. You can deliver the same "what" in different ways - different "how's". A book, a course, and a video, for example are different ways to delivery the same "what". We'll examine the delivery and pricing of your offers, as well as your marketing strategy. By the end of this day, you'll have a solid understanding of how to package and promote your offers in a way that resonates with your ideal clients or customers, and generates the cash flow you need to sustain and grow your business.
This is one of my favorite testimonials from our workshop last year:
"This workshop is POWERFUL! And Lisa Robbin Young is a MASTER at the concepts and practices she teaches - not to mention a great coach. I got a level of clarity of purpose and strategy for going forward that had been missing for me. And it's a strategy that EXCITES me and had me saying 'YES! That's ME! I can do that!' Thanks Lisa!"
Teresa Romain - Founder of Access Abundance
Other attendees said they also experienced:
So if you're serious about having a business that works for how you're wider to work, get your buns over to my info page and register for the CashFlow Creator Workshop series and take the first step towards a fulfilling and sustainable business.
I'm capping registration at 20 people. If financial accessibility is an issue for you, please reach out. Partial scholarships or grants may be available.
My husband and I were talking about the movie Grease the other day. While I was conjuring up lyrics from "You're The One That I Want", Jim piped up and said, "The moral of that story is that you've got to change yourself if you want a man."
I was not seeing it. I mean, he's right that you shouldn't have to change yourself in order to be with someone you care about, but was that really what was going on with Sandy? Or was she finally letting herself be more of the person she wanted to be?
Throughout the movie, Sandy was this buttoned up bobby sockser - watching everyone around her living their lives out loud, while clutching her pearls and saying "I couldn't possibly!" at everything going on. Rizzo and the other Pink Ladies tried to get her "Sandra Dee" to loosen up, but she was too scared and possibly ashamed to do anything about it. Until that drag race showed her what she was missing out on by staying buttoned up.
Let me be clear: there's nothing wrong with being a "Sandra Dee" type - if that's who you really want to be. But you could tell, at the dance, that there was more to Sandy than the buttoned-up persona she had been sharing with the world. She liked being in the spotlight and was miffed when Cha-Cha pulled Danny away from her and won the competition.
Once she got over herself, her next evolution was a more confident, fun-loving person. Yes, she stepped awkwardly at first, but it was someone she WANTED to be. Not something she HAD to do. Sandy chose a path that worked for her and finally let the rest of the world see more of who she really was.
If you ever feel like your brand isn't doing a good job of telling the world who you are - or that you're being ignored by your ideal clients and customers, you might still be trying to show the world your "Sandra Dee" self, when you've actually evolved into a stronger, more charismatic leader. It's time to step out and shine!
Your brand is more than just a logo or a tagline. Your brand is the total experience that your customers have with your business, from the way you communicate to the quality of your products or services. It's the emotional connection that you build with your audience, and it's what sets you apart from your competitors.
So, if you're talking one way when you show up in person and your visual brand or marketing copy doesn't match, there's a disconnect that your right audience won't take the time to figure out. They'll just shrug their shoulders and move on. A confused mind says "no" - or at least, that's what I was taught decades ago when I started my online marketing journey. If your brand isn't feeling like you anymore (or maybe it never really did), then it's time for a tune up!
How do you go about building a brand that truly reflects your personality, voice, and style, and connects with your ideal clients and customers?
Clients hire me when things get out of alignment. The first place I look is their business model. You've heard me talk before about the Creative Freedom Business Model Equation: (You + Why + Who) + What + How. Every business needs a model that works, which is why I love this Equation so much. It's flexible and adaptable to any situation.
But how do you put this into practice?
Take a cue from Dolly Parton, another famous blonde from musical history. She's a true master of her brand and an undisputed celebrity in her niche. Dolly has built a brand and a business empire that reflects her personality, voice, and style, and has connected deeply with her fans for decades. Her music, fashion, philanthropy, and overall persona have all contributed to her success and enduring popularity. Dolly's unique style and personality have made her a beloved icon for decades. But beyond her music and fashion, what makes her so successful?
Using the Creative Freedom Business Model Equation, let's analyze Dolly's business model!
Know Yourself
The Equation begins with the importance of knowing yourself in order to connect with your ideal customers.
Dolly knows herself. She has a strong sense of self. She embraces her roots and values, and incorporates them into everything she does. She has never been afraid to embrace her unique style and persona. From her flamboyant stage outfits to her signature blonde hair and southern drawl, Dolly has created a persona that is instantly recognizable and beloved by her fans.
Understand Why You Do What You Do
Dolly's "why" is to spread joy and uplift others, which she does through her music, books, and philanthropic work. She's no Pollyanna. She's not afraid to talk about painful things, but she's also quick to look to the sunny side. Dolly has a deep connection and commitment to her audience. She's been open and honest with her fans, sharing personal stories and experiences that resonate with people on a deeply emotional level. Dolly makes it clear that she cares deeply about her fans and wants to make a positive impact on the world.
Your brand should be a reflection of who you are as a person and what you stand for. Don't try to be something you're not just because you think it will be more marketable or popular. Authenticity is key, and your audience will be able to sense if you're not being genuine.
You need to know what you stand for. Take some time to define your brand values – the principles and beliefs that guide everything you do. Then, SHARE them with your audience! These values are the foundation of your brand and can help you stay true to your authentic self.
Who Needs You Most?
To create a brand that resonates with your ideal clients and customers, you need to know who they are. What are their needs, desires, and pain points? What do they value? What motivates them? What kind of language and tone do they respond to? Once you have a clear understanding of your audience, you can tailor your brand messaging and marketing materials to speak directly to them.
Dolly understands that her fans value her sincerity, so she speaks from the heart - and isn't afraid to share hardship and poke fun at herself! She also knows how to adapt and stay relevant without compromising her values, such as when she collaborated with EDM artist Galantis on a remix of her hit song "Faith."
Your brand should tell a story – the story of who you are, what you stand for, and how you can help your audience. Use your brand messaging and marketing materials to share your personal journey and connect with your audience on an emotional level.
What Are You Selling? How do you deliver it?
This isn't just about your product, but the deeper benefits your audience gets from experiencing your work. Dolly is a singer and songwriter, so she's selling stories - in musical or written form. But what Dolly actually sells (the deeper benefit) is joy, connection, belonging, and hope. Whether it's music, Dollywood, OR any of the other "offers" that Dolly has for sale, the ultimate goal is the same - to put a smile in your heart and make the world a better place.
Dolly knows how to deliver her message to her audience. Her infectious personality and magnetic charisma make her a natural performer, and her business savvy has helped her build an empire that includes Dollywood theme park and her own record label, and numerous projects for film and television. Dolly has created a brand that has wide reach. And while she delivers it to you in a variety of ways, the "what" that Dolly delivers is the same every time.
Don't be afraid to let your personality shine through in your brand. Embrace your quirks and unique traits – they're what make you stand out from the crowd. Whether it's a love of 80's musicals, country music, a passion for hiking, or a quirky sense of humor, incorporating your personal interests and hobbies into your brand can help you connect with your audience on a deeper level.
Consistency is key when it comes to building a strong, authentic brand. Your messaging, visuals, and overall tone should be consistent across all your marketing channels, from your website to your social media accounts. Use the same color scheme, fonts, and tone of voice to create a cohesive brand identity that's instantly recognizable. Make sure they reflect the current you - not who you were 10 years ago! If it's time for an upgrade or update, talk to a brand design professional who can help your materials better reflect your awesomeness.
Building a successful business isn't just about branding - it's about having a solid business model that supports your unique strengths and skills. That's why we invite you to join us at our Cashflow Creator Workshop, where we'll dive deeper into the Creative Freedom Business Model Equation and help you create a business model that works for how you're wired to work. Register now to secure your spot and take the next step towards building a business that aligns with your values and goals!
Remember, building a brand takes time and effort. But with the right Equation - and a little inspiration from Sandy and Dolly - you can create a brand that has your fans singing "You're the one that I want!"
[Author's Note: Before you ask, this is NOT about the book "Choose Yourself" by James Altucher. I haven't read it yet. It's on my list. Pinky swear.]
A colleague (let's call her Gina) confided to me that despite being a six-figure entrepreneur (with real profits), despite having retired her husband, and despite being able to travel the world, she still grapples with her inner belief that she's just not good enough.
From the outside, it seems like Gina's got it all figured out. But secretly she worries that every success she's had is just a fluke... and that at any moment, everything she's worked so hard to build will come crashing down.
No matter how many wins she racks up, no matter how many clients she helps, Gina's inner critic keeps pointing back to that insecure, misunderstood, neurodiverse teenager she used to be.
Disobedient. Space cadet. Disorganized. No one thought she'd amount to anything mostly because no one took the time to accurately diagnose her neruodivergence.
And even though she can see herself more clearly now - even though she's killing it in her life and career - Gina still grapples with owning her awesomeness.
Impostor syndrome? Maybe. Gina's really good at what she does, and she knows it. She talks about the results she gets for her clients, so I don't think it's that so much as the programming that's keeping her from confidently choosing herself.
Maybe (as a survival skill or coping mechanism) you were conditioned to seek external validation and approval or learned to prioritize the expectations and desires of others over your own. Not that I speak from experience or anything! This often creates feelings of guilt or shame when you start to prioritize your own needs and desires.
That's a hard knot to untangle!
While it might be easy for some people to step forward confidently and say "pick me", choosing yourself is not always as simple as deciding to take ownership of your own success or creating your own opportunities. If that were the case, we'd all do it with ease! Sometimes there's more at play than you might realize. It's also about dealing with the inner demons that tell you that you're not good enough, that you don't deserve success, that you're an imposter, and that you're one mistake away from failure.
Additionally, choosing oneself often requires stepping outside of one's comfort zone and taking risks. When you choose yourself, you're putting yourself out there, taking risks, and exposing yourself to criticism and rejection. Fear of failure, rejection, or judgment from others can be powerful barriers to making choices that are truly aligned with our own values and goals. It's not easy to do, especially if you're a marginalized person or if you've been conditioned to seek external validation or play it safe.
"Suck it up, buttercup, and put on your big-girl panties" becomes a problematic platitude that just serves to frustrate and enrage rather than inspire action.
Choosing yourself also requires a certain level of self-awareness and self-confidence. You need to know who you are, what you stand for, and what you want to achieve - and vocalize it. So often that truth gets buried under the well-meaning "shoulds" of others. That makes it harder to believe in yourself and your abilities when others don't.
After my first marriage ended, I had a LOT of unpacking to do. So many stories of unworthiness were programmed into me from the years I was hitched to a well-intentioned someone telling me over and over that I was never going to achieve my dreams.
No, really! I do believe he thought he was being helpful by trying to encourage me to "just be happy with what you have" or that I'd be better off if I would just "get a 'real' job."
After you hear those messages for a while, you start to believe them. That's how brainwashing works. It took years of self-examination and staring down those old stories to remind me of who I really am. I didn't do it alone. I had friends, family, therapy, and now I have a husband who adores and fully believes in my magic.
Choosing yourself means being willing to go against the grain and chart your own course, even if it means going against the norms and expectations of your family, friends, or society. That's not always an easy (or safe) thing to do.
When we choose ourselves, we take control of our own destiny. We no longer wait for someone else to tell us what to do or how to do it. We become the driver of our own life, charting our own course and creating the success we crave. By taking ownership of our success, we also take responsibility for our failures. We learn from our mistakes, adjust our course, and continue to move forward.
But choosing yourself isn't always easy. It requires you to step outside of your comfort zone, to embrace your strengths, and to be vulnerable. It means taking risks and being willing to fail. It means letting go of the expectations of others and trusting in yourself. That's scary stuff, right there!
The power to choose yourself lies within you. You really do have the ability to create your own opportunities, to design a business that aligns with your values and strengths, and to pursue a life that's more in alignment with who you are and what you want to be about in the world. It means identifying your strengths, your values, and your vision for the future. It means being intentional about the work you do and the clients you serve.
Start by reflecting on your values and priorities. What is truly important to you? What do you want to achieve in your life and business? Once you have a clear understanding of your own values and goals, it can be easier to make choices that align with them, even if they may be uncomfortable or uncertain.
Then, recognize and celebrate your worth and value. It may seem awkward (and you might need some help), but YOU need to recognize that you are valuable, and that you have something to offer the world. Instead of trying to be someone you're not, embrace your strengths and use them to your advantage.
Redesign your business to be more in alignment with who you are and what you want to be about in the world. So long as it's legal, it's YOUR business. It's okay to do it your way! Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your unique strengths and talents. Write them down! Sing your own praises and remind yourself of them often.
Don't wait for someone else to give you permission to pursue your goals, take ownership of your success. Create your own opportunities and don't be afraid to take risks. Don't be afraid to fail, because failure is just a stepping stone to success.
Speaking of which, learn to reframe failure as feedback. Instead of seeing failure as a sign that you're not good enough, see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. While sometimes failing is a good indicator that it's time to quit, don't just assume that's the case. Ask yourself what you can do differently next time and how you can use the experience to improve.
Practice a little self-compassion and recognize that choosing yourself is not selfish, but rather a necessary step towards personal fulfillment and success. It's natural to feel fear, self-doubt, and other negative emotions when you're stepping outside of your comfort zone. Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up for feeling that way. Instead, acknowledge what you're going through and remind yourself that your feelings don't get to drive the bus. Make time for self-care activities to help you feel more centered and confident.
Surrounding yourself with a supportive community of like-minded folks can provide motivation to stay on track or encouragement when you're trying to prioritize your own wants and needs. It may be slow-going at first, but stay the course! Choose people who uplift you, support you, and believe in you. Avoid people who bring you down, criticize you, or undermine your confidence. In Gina's case, she found that her mastermind community was invaluable for overcoming her inner critic and staying on track.
Seeking out resources such as workshops, coaching, or mentorship can provide valuable guidance and support on the journey towards choosing oneself in business and life. As a coach, my job is intimately connected to helping people see the value they bring to the table and how to use that power for good in their lives.
Take courageous action. Not "massive action". Courageous action. The best way to overcome fear and self-doubt is to do something. Start small if you must, but take a step that moves you closer to your goals. As you take action and see progress, your confidence will grow, and you'll be more motivated to keep going.
If you're struggling to choose yourself, know that you're not alone. It can be hard to break free from the expectations of others and build a life and business that really works for who you are. But your world is waiting for you, and every minute you stall, everyone loses.
That's why do what I do! In April, I'm hosting my popular Cashflow Creator Workshop. This workshop is designed to help you create a business that aligns with who you are and works for how you're wired to work. It's time to stop hiding and start embracing your power to choose yourself. Registration is now open, so sign up and take the next step towards the life and business you truly desire.
On Saturday, March 24, 1984, five students at Shermer High School report at 7:00 a.m. for an all-day detention: "a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal".
That's where the movie, "The Breakfast Club" begins. Throughout the film, each student will struggle with coming to terms with who they really are (warts, sparkles, and all). One character in particular, Allison Reynolds, deserves some special attention.
See, Allison is a classic undervalued Unicorn. She didn't even earn detention - which, I mean, "earn" isn't a great way to describe it, is it? She went because she had nothing better to do. She's not there for behavior problems, skipping school, or bad grades. From what we can tell, she's smart, thoughtful, kind, and quirky.
On one level she's chosen to "punish herself". On another, she probably doesn't even think of it as punishment. Not unlike some of my clients!
Allison sits alone, ignored by the others. She's quiet and withdrawn, and she's constantly hiding behind her hair and a heavy coat. Allison doesn't say a word until more than 20 minutes into the film, but when she does, she speaks with thoughtfulness and candor. She's clever. She's smart... even if everyone else chooses to write her off and miss her brilliance because of it.
As the day goes on, she takes off her coat, both figuratively and literally, revealing the unique and colorful person underneath. She stops hiding behind her hair and pulls it back so we can see her face! By the end of the movie, she's no longer hiding and connects with the other students (especially Andrew) on a deeper level.
Was it easy? Well, yes and no. Allison asserts her stance while Claire goes to work: "I like that black shit." She's clinging to the benefits of hiding herself. But Allison soon realizes that when you let people help you, it can be safe to be seen for who you really are.
When she walks back into the library, she's uncertain how she'll be received, and quick to "blame" Claire for her appearance.
"What happened to you?" Andrew asks.
"Why? Claire did it!" She snaps. Then, with an air of uncertainty, she says, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. You're just so different. I can see your face."
"Is that good or bad?"
Regardless of Andrew's answer ("It's good!"), the uncertainty is still there. It's starting to melt and Allison's gaining confidence in being seen for who she really is, but she's still not there. It's only after Andrew gives her that external validation that she smiles and lifts her head with confidence.
But what if Allison didn't need Andrew's validation? What if she just strode into the room happy with her new look, confident from within?
That might feel like a stretch for an undervalued Unicorn. I mean, Allison trusted that Claire wouldn't steer her wrong when she let her apply eyeliner in the first place. And Claire had already given her validation before she walked back into the library.
But that still wasn't enough? How much validation do you need in order to be confident? What (or in her case, who) was she waiting for!?!
Waiting for someone else to fill your cup is problematic at best, and dangerous at worst. It can quickly devolve into something like an addiction - craving attention, being manipulated by the whims of others who dangle their approval like a carrot in front of your face.
Um, no thanks!
I mean, I grew up with it, so I know it well. And it's not healthy. Sure, it's nice to get applause and validation from others. But needing it and appreciating it are two different things.
The fear at the root of this "need" is one of three flavors: fear of failure, fear of judgement, or fear of abandonment. Sometimes, it's a slippery slope of all three. What if I take a risk and I fail? What if I'm not good enough? What will people think? Will they leave me and never return?
You might be thinking that if you wait long enough, the right opportunity will present itself, and you won't have to risk anything. Perhaps, but you might also be waiting a long-ass time for that magic moment to appear. Plus, I don't believe opportunity only knocks once. In my experience, opportunity likes to play ring and run. It keeps coming back, over and over, but you've got to be at the door to catch it. If you're waiting on the couch, you'll never get there.
This creates a feedback loop of low confidence. You're waiting for someone else to give you the credential, the recognition, the opportunity, instead of stepping into the leadership role that's custom-made for you. You think that if someone else sees your potential, they'll give you the invitation to play at their party.
That's not always the case. Sometimes you have to create your own opportunities.
Give yourself permission to be who you really are. Even if that's dangerous or scary. Don't wait for someone else to validate your or tell you that you're good enough. You're already magnificent! Find someone that helps you believe in yourself and won't let you buy into the bullshit lies the rest of the world wants to pile on. Then, take action toward your dreams. Even when it seems like no one is looking. If you're only working when everyone else can see and applaud it, you're not going to make much progress.
Take a page out of Allison's book. Take off your coat, engage, and let the world see who you really are. If that feels scary on your own, get help. Find a supportive community, a friend, or a coach to help hold space for the shining star you're becoming. Take small steps, a few at a time. Do what you can as you are able.
You don't need permission to pursue your passions and be yourself - because you already have it! Don't wait for someone else to tell you that it's okay. IT IS OKAY! Take a few small, calculated risks, build your confidence, and don't be afraid to fail. That's how you learn!
You have the power to choose yourself and create your own opportunities. Don't wait for someone else to recognize your worth - show them what you're capable of. Stop hiding, start shining like the star you are and OWN your dreams. Choose yourself and see who shows up to cheer you on.
Have you ever felt like you're not good enough, even though you know you're talented? Are you feeling like you're the only one who hasn't quite figured out this whole "success" thing despite your years of experience and talent? Like you should "be there" by now - wherever that is. Or worse you keep getting overlooked and passed over for other people in your industry who aren't as skilled, qualified, or don't have the same depth of experience as you?
Well, my friend, you might just be an Undervalued Unicorn!
You're probably wondering what the heck an Undervalued Unicorn even is. This is the best way I know how to describe the kind of clients I just adore! An Undervalued Unicorn is someone who is an absolute badass at what they do. They've got years of experience, a list of credentials as long as their arm, and a small army of raving fans that sing their praises. But they haven't gotten the recognition, the rewards, or the respect that they deserve for their genius.
Undervalued Unicorns sometimes fight with Impostor Syndrome, but usually Unicorns know that they are Unicorns - they know how good they are at what they do. It's usually less about feeling like an impostor and more like the sense of impatience and frustration that rise out of the Passed Over Paradox - being overlooked or undervalued by influencers in their field.
Undervalued Unicorns are some of the most innovative, risk-taking, and badass people out there. Because of your unique take on things, it's easy to feel misunderstood or like you're on the outside, looking in. You might feel like the underdog, the misfit, or the black sheep of your industry.
You have an advantage that others don't: you see the world in a different way, and that means you can create things that other people can't even imagine. Maybe it's a new business model, a new product, or a new way of doing things. Whatever it is, you have the power to bring your vision to life!
One of my clients is a perfect example of this. Jamie (not their real name) is a professional with more than ten years of experience in their field - and all the credentials that go with it. They envisioned a future where they would be on television, writing books, and being seen by the world for the expertise that they'd developed in their chosen field.
Jamie was definitely a Unicorn - a remarkable standout in their field - in an almost magical, mythical way. But what made Jamie an undervalued Unicorn was that they were grossly undercharging for their work. They mistakenly believed that they were charging the "going rate" for where they live and couldn't possibly charge more. But that rate wasn't sustainable. Jamie was compromising so much about themselves and the quality of their client experience just to keep that lower rate. Jamie could barely make ends meet when we met, and was ready to flip the tables and quit the career they'd worked so hard to build because they just didn't know how to break through.
Then, Jamie saw a newbie to their field charging nearly double what Jamie was charging - and getting it!
That's when a switch flipped.
Jamie finally realized they were ready to shift their thinking and open their eyes to how those false stories had been holding them back!
Jamie raised their rates and started showing up more visibly in the market. And guess what? The people who already loved Jamie loved this new way of showing up more powerfully. Most were even happy to pay higher rates to keep working with them. Those higher rates also meant that Jamie could afford to be more generous. Jamie created new offers that were financially accessible to people who might not otherwise be able to afford their new rates.
As Jamie's visibility grew, they got getting stopped on the street! Media outlets started seeking Jamie out for interviews. Jamie wrote a book and is now considered one of the foremost authorities in the world on their subject.
After years of working with these undervalued Unicorns, I can tell you that one of the biggest things you need to do is choose yourself. To stop waiting for someone else to pick you and create your own stages and your own opportunities. I know it can be easy to feel like you're not good enough, or just an impostor trying to fake your way to the top, but that's not true. Here's why:
First, Undervalued Unicorns are natural innovators. You don't just accept the status quo - you're frequently looking for ways to improve, to do things differently, maybe even stand out from the crowd in the process.
Unicorns don't fit neatly into any particular box. You're pushing boundaries and exploring new territory. Think about Prince - he was always breaking the rules and doing things his own way, whether it was his name, his fashion choices, or the way he approached music. He didn't care what anyone else was doing, he just did what felt right to him. And that's what makes Undervalued Unicorns so valuable - they're always pushing the envelope and bringing new ideas to the table.
You have a knack for thinking outside the box and coming up with ideas that nobody else has thought of. That's a gift that make a big difference!
Undervalued Unicorns are the mavericks of their industries. They are the rule-breakers, the game-changers, the ones who refuse to conform to traditional norms and instead pave their own path to success. That's not always an easy path, but it sure is rewarding when you can stay the course.
Unicorns aren't afraid to put themselves out there and try something new. Sure, it can be scary as hell, but that's what makes it so thrilling.
When Lady Gaga broke out in the late 2000s, she was unlike anything in pop music at the time. With her wild costumes, theatrical performances, and unapologetic attitude, she quickly became a household name. But Lady Gaga fought tooth and nail to get there.
Yes, her dad offered to pay her rent for a year, but she still had to show up and do the work - or give up on her dream and go back to school. In her own words, “I left my entire family, got the cheapest apartment I could find, and ate shit until somebody would listen.”
About a week before it was time to call it quits, a door opened... then a label signed her. Then they dropped her. But she just kept going. As a songwriter, a background vocalist, whatever it took to keep the lights on and play for one more day. Then, she got picked up by another label and they got her. The label invested in her development and the rest, as they say is history.
Lady Gaga's story is a prime example of the Undervalued Unicorn mentality. She refused to let the industry dictate her success, instead carving out her own path and using her creativity and innovation to get noticed. And it paid off in a big way - today, Lady Gaga is one of the biggest names in music, with a loyal fanbase and a string of hits to her name.
That kind of fearless attitude and out-of-the-box thinking is what sets you apart - and is essential for your success.
And the piece that is often the most difficult for Undervalued Unicorns to embrace is that you create your own path to success. You can't wait around for someone else to hand you an opportunity. Make your own.
I've lost count of the number of times well meaning people have said I couldn't make a living as a creative entrepreneur, or that I should have a "real job" as some kind of "back-up plan". The career I've built for myself is a real job.
Undervalued Unicorns that wait for someone to give them permission or validation are usually frustrated and resentful. It's a harder path, sure, but creating your own path to success is a major advantage in today's crowded marketplace. But having that much autonomy can also feel like a lot of pressure:
"What if I fail? What if it doesn't work?"
Oh, but sweetie... what if you succeed beyond your wildest dreams? What if it does work??
That can be just as scary sometimes.
It's not always easy to be on the front lines, but that's where you need to be if you want the success that seems to be passing you by. Own your badassery. Sure, you may feel like an impostor sometimes - or like nobody sees how hard you're working, but that's not reality. The truth is that you are powerful, talented, and freaking amazing! Take a risk this week and try something new. Show up more YOU than you ever have before - out loud and on purpose!
Believe in yourself. Choose yourself. Because if you don't, why should anyone else?
My first year on Twitter, I generated over $30k in income that I could point directly back to Twitter. Not every year is that great, and each platform is different, but rather than over-committing myself to a zillion social media platforms, I've been pretty strategic about where and how often I post.
But what do you do when there's a new platform you want to try? It usually isn't smart to throw all your eggs into the new basket at the expense of what you've been doing... unless you've been on Digg or Xanga or something. 🙂
I've played around with live streaming a few times - my cousin's wedding, a couple of concerts, and a few sessions on Periscope back in the day.
But on the whole, I had too much resistance to make it meaningful.
What, me? Resistance? Well, yeah.
So my coach suggested I hop on Facebook Live and give it a try. Here's what happened:
You might not know it to look at me, but I'm not very comfortable in front of a LIVE camera - especially when you've got to manage where to put your eyes. Do you look at the screen? Then you're looking at yourself (awkward). Do you look at the camera lens? Then you can't see the comments. Do you look at the comments? What if there aren't any comments?
ARGH!
I'm not very comfortable with improvising. Over the past few seasons of Creative Freedom, I've gotten pretty comfortable in front of the camera with a teleprompter. It keeps my eyes and my mind focused.
I've not yet figured out how to use one in a LIVE setting, so I still feel pretty uncomfortable.
I want to break through my discomfort with live streaming and get a handle on Facebook Live in the process. So, I'm proposing an experiment. Each week, I'll be doing a live segment from somewhere in the world where I'll be answering your questions. Join me THIS Wednesday on my Facebook Page at 1pm Eastern/ Noon Central, as I answer an important question about whether or not you have to sell high-ticket items to be financially successful.
During the experiment, I may go live at various times during the day. I may not always be available at the same time every week. But if you follow my page, you'll always get updates.
Hope you'll join me!
When I was a kid, I was told that Black Friday was the biggest shopping day of the year, and was so named because it was the day that many retailers finally posted a profit and came out of the red and "into the black".
It's not true, of course, since the phrase is only about 50 years old, but many people I've asked offer the same explanation.
"Black Friday is the day when retailers become profitable."
It always bothered me to think that a store had to wait until the tail-end of the year to see profitability. How can you function for 10 months of the year without making a profit?
Sadly, I see creative entrepreneurs do it all the time. The struggle, the shame, the push-push-push of trying something - anything - to bring in money. And very often, it's Thanksgiving weekend (Black Friday and/or Cyber Monday) when they finally see some cash.
The way it happens, though, is all kinds of wrong. So wrong that, this year, I decided to opt out and NOT send any type of Thanksgiving greetings. It was hard for me because each year I like to do a give-back campaign around my book, The Secret Watch. Thousands of people have participated over the years, and it was hard to NOT do it.
But not this year. I just couldn't bring myself to be part of the marketing mayhem that this week has become.
My friend Leesa Renee Hall posted on Facebook the other day, bemoaning what she calls the "#gratitudespam" emails filling her inbox because of Thanksgiving. Leesa's Canadian, but that didn't stop the marketers from ruining the spirit of the American holiday anyway:
"This time of year, I like to reflect on how grateful I am for the life I have. I'm grateful for you. Without you, I'd be homeless, and I like my big house on the beach and my vacations to Hawaii. Thank you for being a loyal customer and buying my crap. Because it's awesome. And speaking of awesome, be sure to watch for my Black Friday email, because my offers are SO amazing THIS year that you'll pee your pants. Forget standing in line at the Apple store Friday morning. Get up at 3a.m. and wait for my email with baited breath because you know my shizz is off. the. HOOK!"
Or something like that. #GagMe
I'm all for expressing gratitude. Some folks do send emails that are just an expression of gratitude. I got an email from someone I barely know saying how much I meant to her as a loyal subscriber. It felt phony because I was a new subscriber, but I'm sure her long-time readers appreciated the sentiment. There was no pitch, no promise of something amazing on Black Friday. Just a simple thank you.
It was buried amid so many sales pitches, that it was hard to take it seriously.
Yes, I'm a little cynical, and the reality is that when you say "Thank you" and follow it with a request to buy your stuff, it feels fake. It feels forced. It doesn't feel genuine in the least. You seem desperate and pushy. It's as if you couldn't afford to let one email go out without making an offer.
So the crappy emails continue to pile up as more marketers try to pry your hard-earned cash out of your hands and into their wallets.
Ick.
I enjoy sales, discounts, and getting a great deal as much as anyone. My favorite purse is an Italian leather number that I got at a yard sale for $3. I was giddy for a week after that find! But I feel bad for the creatives (who already consistently over-give) that are discounting their Great Work because "it's Black Friday". They're bringing in money, but it's not sustainable - and it's not always profitable.
I rarely offer sales or discounts because of what I call "the Lane Bryant dilemma".
They've pretty much trained me to NOT buy anything at full price, because there's always a discount, coupon, or sale right around the corner. And many times, I can use it for the clearance rack, so why would I EVER pay full price? All those pretty clothes just sit on the rack until the sale rolls around, which I know it inevitably will.
In the mean time, I look at all those clothes and think they're WAAAAAY over-priced, so why buy them?
Lane Bryant has trained me to de-value their products.
I see it over and over again this time of year. I know several creative entrepreneurs who always make some kind of crazy low-ball offer "in honor of Black Friday". So I wait. I don't buy. They've trained me to wait for the super saving spectacular that is Black Friday - or Cyber Monday.
Instead of discounting your regular offers, why not do something remarkable? Create something exclusively for this selling season, and when the season's over, it's gone. Like the "McRib" or "Pumpkin Spice" everything. Limited-time offers don't have to be price-sensitive.
On the other hand, you could show real gratitude and just give something away. Again, not like a clearance sale, but do something special. A free concert, or digital wallpaper, or some other truly free offer that shows people that your gratitude is real. You don't bring a hostess gift to Thanksgiving dinner and then ask your host to pay your mortgage. You bring a gift because you want to show your affection (and gratitude) for the person receiving the gift.
That's what I'm doing this year.
All my subscribers are getting an invitation to a free webinar in December where I'll walk them through the pitfalls of planning for each of the 3 creative entrepreneur types. Each type has strengths and blind spots when it comes to planning your year, and if you rely only on your strengths, you may discover you're not moving forward on your dreams and goals the way you planned. The answer often lies in your blind spots. This webinar will help you see them, deal with them, and plot a course for a successful 2017.
And you won't have to buy anything to make it work.
If you're not already on the list, you'll need to get registered to join us. For those of you already on my list, an email is coming with more specifics. I'm not trying to be mysterious here. I just haven't decided what day to teach this webinar yet. When I do, I'll send out the email. It's that simple.
I am truly grateful for you. Not because you're my fan, a reader, a subscriber, or because you've bought my stuff. I'm grateful for you because you matter to this world. It wouldn't be the same without you. Your life, your story, and who you are matters. If I get a chance to be part of that, well, fantastic, but you don't need my products and services to continue to shine your awesome light into the world.
Thank you for being you. Keep it up. #ThatIsAll
"You can't win if you don't play."
Mom used this sentence to justify a lot of behavior when I was a kid: learning to ride a bike, auditioning for plays, joining the cross country team (I took 11th place in the city meet). And yes, mom played the lottery. She had a winning streak where, with a little help from technology and lottery dream books, she won several days each week for a few weeks. Naturally, those words rang through my head every time I was faced with a risk-reward decision.
Until this week.
If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you may have already heard about how I found this lottery ticket on the ground while I was on a field trip with my kid. I thought it was trash (LITTERBUGS! ARGH!), so I picked it up to throw away when we got to the car.
But when I saw it was a lottery ticket, I figured I'd check the numbers when I got home, just in case.
I won the BIG money, honey! TWO WHOLE DOLLARS! WOO HOO!!
Every morning, I sit down to do The PEACE System (a process I created to help clear my head and prioritize my day). Because field trips can be stressful - particularly with a special needs kid - I made a point of setting the intention to look for miracles.
Frankly, a well-behaved child would have qualified as a miracle in my book. I certainly wasn't expecting free money to fall at my feet. But hey, I'll take it!
I asked for (and was looking for) a miracle, and I got it. And the kid behaved, too!
You've probably heard stories about people who say "I won the lottery and it changed my life." Never did I think I'd be one of those people, since I don't play the lottery.
But winning those two bucks most certainly changed my life. If you want to test out your luck as well, you can go to sites like 바카라 사이트, for example.
"You can't play if you don't win" is a double-edged sword. In a way, I did "play" because I picked up the ticket and cashed it in. But in a way I didn't play, because I didn't actually buy the ticket. It wasn't even given to me (in the traditional sense). And the person that dropped the ticket probably thought it was a "loser" because they played $10 and "only" won $2. They lost money on the deal.
But from my perspective, I was $2 richer!
The last 18 months have been arduous and hard for me on a lot of fronts. At some point, I probably faced down some depression, though I was never clinically diagnosed. I've done a LOT of questioning my worth, my value, and why I'm really on this planet in the first place.
Two dollars won't even buy me a soda at my local restaurant, let alone pay my rent, but it was a sign. A clear sign that miracles are there if we are looking for them. I know that sounds kind of mystical and metaphysical, but it's true. I found that money because I was looking for it.
Well, I was looking for a miracle, and I chose to see this "win" as a miracle.
You have to have your eyes open and show up.
You have to be willing to go for what matters to you - even if it seems unreasonable. Even if it seems impossible. If it's in your heart to have it, you have to be courageous enough to show up for it. And keep showing up consistently.
In that respect, Mom was right: you can't win if you don't play.
But she was also wrong. I won without playing "the game" (by society's rules, at least). That little lottery ticket opened a Pandora's box of questions about the "teaching" that's been passed down through my family for generations. The "lessons" and "stories" that, in a previous era, had to be true for survival no longer serve the person I'm becoming in this era of creative entrepreneurship.
In the past, if you didn't "play by the rules", you wouldn't be taken seriously, and you probably wouldn't even get a foot in the door, let alone win. There were gatekeepers, expectations, and unwritten "rules" that were foisted on you by your industry, society and "the world". These rules were designed to keep certain people out, and to protect the survival of others. You had to play their way, or you simply couldn't play.
Now, you have a lot more latitude to define success on your own terms and not just survive, but thrive. You can create your own career, doing what you love, and make good money doing it - without selling your soul. That's the entire premise of how I help my clients!
Those old stories that once served to protect, inspire, and motivate me, had been holding me back from the life and career I was meant to have. I couldn't see that until I won the lottery.
What thoughts, beliefs, and stories do you hold as true, that might actually be limiting your success without you even realizing it? Untangling those beliefs and thought patterns can be tough, but the rewards far outweigh the risks.
But here's the other thing that rattled my brain. I won $2. Winning anything was contingent upon someone else. Somebody else played the game, bought the ticket, left it on the ground. At least three other people walked right past the ticket before I picked it up. In short, I had no control over the outcome. All I could do was be in the right place at the time of the miracle.
Miracles are awesome, and they can feel magical. But they are, in many ways, unpredictable - even if you're looking for them. You don't know when they'll arrive, or in what form, and sometimes it's hard to know if it even is a miracle until well after the fact. Sometimes the worst thing that ever happened to you is actually a blessing in disguise... a miracle you won't see until years later.
In life, we can wait for others to open doors for us, or we can make a plan and get sh*t done. (Tweet This)
Waiting around for miracles is the snail's path to success. Can it happen? Sure! I just won the lottery, for crying out loud! But, I only won $2, because that's all the ticket was worth. Someone else got to dictate the terms of my success. I could only win what they played and paid for.
I don't want someone else to dictate how successful I can be. I don't want someone else to have that much influence over my success journey. I mean, I won't turn away blessings when they show up - even the $2 variety - and I'm not going out of my way to play the lottery, either.
I know I can't control everything - and some might say that control, like safety, is an illusion. But if I set an intention and follow it with consistent action, I'm going to move the ball further down the field more often than the guy standing around, waiting for a winning lottery ticket to fall at his feet.
Will there be setbacks? Most likely. As we all know, the so-called "overnight success" stories usually involve a lot more preparation and hardship than we realize. As Thomas Edison famously said, "opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
I'm no stranger to hard work, although I'd like to be. 🙂
There were other gems of discovery that I'm still unpacking, and I'm sure you could tease out a few lessons of your own from this story, but ultimately, while I welcome all the miracles and blessings coming my way, I'm not going to sit on the sidelines and wait for them. I'm going to keep showing up, sharing my Great Work, and defining success on my terms. Not my mom's terms, or the terms of my ancestors, or even the terms of my fans and clients.
My game is the only game that matters for me. It's a game I'm happy to play, and one I can't lose, because I make the rules.
[Note: This is an excerpt from my forthcoming book, Creative Freedom. If you'd like to be part of the advance team and get more sneak peeks of the book, contact me for more info.]
There's a quote often attributed to John Lennon:
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
Dreams are kind of like that. It sounds trite, I know, but the reality is that if something really matters to you, there are really only two things that will prevent you from pursuing it in some way:
1. Death (in which case, you're no longer dreaming).
2. Something else that matters more (in which case, it's no longer your dream).
Death is fairly self-explanatory, so we'll leave that here and explore option two.
When I was a kid, I fancied myself as the next Madonna or Paula Abdul. I was a pretty good singer, and I spent countless hours practicing dance routines for the world tour I imagined I would lead once I became a rock star. I studied music at college, got a degree, and even moved west in pursuit of that dream.
Then life happened: single motherhood, relocation, marriage, second kid, etc.
For years, while my dreams of professional achievement languished, I put my focus, energy, and money into being a wife and mom. That was my priority. I made it so. I chose that life over pursuing my dream.
There are all kinds of "reasons" I could give as to why I made that choice. Here are a few:
Ultimately, I let guilt, shame, and fear dictate my priorities. Choosing to be seen in a certain light (by my family, friends, and children) were more important to me than pursuing my dreams.
So I didn't.
For more than a decade, my dreams sat in a metaphorical box on a shelf in the attic of my soul. I didn't touch my musical instruments (I owned seven). I didn't even play the radio much. Music was all but absent in my life, with one exception: community theater.
I was somewhat of a fixture at the local theater. Ted, the Artistic Director, knew I was talented and a hard worker, so I was practically guaranteed a role every season. Usually not the lead, but something that allowed me to be in the spotlight, share my gifts, and get me out of the house a few nights a week during the run of the show.
That was my "fix" and, for a while, it worked. I was happy to contribute and be part of something that gave me a small glimpse into the life I wasn't ambitious enough to pursue because of other "reasons".
A friend and I had approached Ted about doing a holiday musical revue. He loved the idea. As we began rehearsals, Ted told me that ours would be the last show produced at the theater. After 15 years, he was closing his doors.
At first, it didn't register how much I depended on Ted and this rag-tag bunch of musical misfits. We all had "other lives" that kept us busy - teachers, lawyers, service workers, college students - but on Ted's stage we were all equals. We were all craftsmen.
We were family - and Ted was breaking up the band, so to speak.
I didn't realize, until recently, how important that creative outlet was for me. It was my primary source of adult conversation and a safe space to practice my art. It was also a happy-medium for a married mom of two with responsibilities and "reasons" that kept me from pursuing my dream.
And then it was gone.
I briefly toyed with the notion of taking over the theater, but my life and financial situation at the time just couldn't swing it. That's when everything in my life started to unravel. My kid ran away and ended up in jail, we filed bankruptcy, I lost my car, my home, and I hit the skids - quite literally.
I was driving my husband's car on the freeway. As I started to change lanes, it spun out of control. I threw my hands into the air as the car swished and fishtailed across three lanes, landing in the ditch, facing oncoming traffic. I looked up just in time to feel the rush of wind as an 18-wheeler sped past.
Somehow, I was still alive. Unscathed. Awake. The car had stalled out, but was otherwise fine. A Freudian moment.
I reasoned with myself that I should probably be dead. The only reason I survived was because, as Lennon put it, it's not the end.
So why I was still alive? What was this wake-up call all about?
God talks to me in the voice of James Earl Jones - very deep, precise, and clear. Each morning for a few weeks, I posed the "why am I still alive?" question during my sacred practice. One day the notion to spend a year working on a new album crossed my mind. That thought led to doing 100 songs - just 2 songs a week. That's when Darth Vader boomed in.
"300 songs!"
I've learned not to argue when my inner Darth starts talking. So I started on the journey that has now become my 300 songs project.
Jim Rohn famously said "Become a millionaire not for the million dollars, but for what it will make of you to achieve it." About 100 songs into the project, it became clear that it was less about the number of songs, and more about who I was becoming in the process of making them.
I was unpacking my dusty box of dreams, recalling the value of these old treasures - some of which still had meaning for me, others from which I was finally ready to move on. I pulled out those old songs, those dance routines, and I had to decide what my dream really was.
See, your dream is relentless. It persists even when you don't want it to. You almost can't let it go because it keeps coming back to haunt you. Fantasies, on the other hand, are something that you can plow a lot of time, energy, and money into, but at the end of the day, you feel a relief to let it go.
Dancing was like that for me. I still love to dance, but I'm almost 100 pounds heavier than I was when I dreamed of being the next Paula Abdul. While I'm working on getting into better shape, the thought of re-conditioning my body to the level of a professional dancer feels like a punishment worse than death!
When I gave up on the dream of becoming a dancer, I felt unimaginable relief. Can I still dance? SURE, but on my terms - without the pressure of maintaining a dancer's body.
Becoming the next Paula Abdul or Madonna was my fantasy, entertaining and inspiring people is my dream.
In fact, I can't imagine my life without a spotlight and inspiration in some way, but if I could never dance again, I don't think I'd cry too much about it. As a kid, I believed that's what I should do, if I wanted to be famous. I should learn to sing, act, dance, and play an instrument - and be good at all of them. That way, I've got a much better chance at "stardom".
But as I unpack this box of dreams as an adult, it isn't about the "shoulds" of the world around me. I'm older now, and while I still care what people think of me, it matters far less than it did a decade ago when my roles defined me.
Those priorities don't matter like they used to. I stopped defining myself by what I couldn't have and began to shift my focus to what I really wanted - what truly mattered to me.
And that's the point. When something else - even fear - matters more than honoring the Divine call of your dream, you'll try to ignore it. But if it really matters to you, it will not remain silent. It will fight to be heard. It will wake you from your anesthetized way of living. It will violently shake you - with the force of an 18-wheeler - until you make a choice.
Then you will find a way to pursue it - in stolen moments while the kids are at school, or while waiting on hold with the power company. You'll get up early, stay up late, and make any excuse you can to take even the smallest step toward realizing your dream.
Or you will choose to let it go. No longer a priority. No longer the dream it once was. In which case, it's not your dream anymore, so it no longer needs pursuing.
Mourning the loss of a dream, or letting it go joyfully (your choice) is not uncommon. Kids do it every day, with much less drama and heartache. They find something new that captures their imagination, and they pursue it until it's not worth pursuing anymore. Everything they pick up and put down acts like a filter, helping them draw closer and closer to what it is that really matters to them.
For me, dance and drama led me to refine my skills as a storyteller, a performer, and to be more comfortable in my skin - critical skills that make me a better musician, author, and coach. For a time, I thought dancing was part of my dream. Dancing wasn't my dream, but it pointed the way.
Will your dreams always manifest the way you envisioned? Not likely. But that won't deter you if it's really your dream. Many are the stories of elderly men and women who found success with their dreams much later in life. Who cares how long it takes? The pursuit is part of the work of building the dream in the first place.
And should there come a time when other choices, other goals, other priorities truly do matter more than your dusty old dream, then pack it away for a time, pass it on, or simply let it go.
In the end, whatever you choose will be okay. And if it's not okay...
==========
Feeling stuck and unsure of your direction? I am honored to be co-hosting a webinar on May 12 with Tajci Cameron that might help. Tajci's a former Croatian pop star who left it all to try her hand at the American Dream, only to get stuck herself. Join us as we explore the steps she took to awaken to joy and purpose in her life and break the cycle of pain and fear that was holding her back. Click here to meet Tajci and register for this special event!
You may have heard the story about Walter Matthau. An aspiring actor approached him at some function and said that he was looking for that one big break. Matthau, in his caring, yet cynical style, says , "Kid, it's not the one big break, it's the fifty."
Overnight success rarely is, and most creatives that have been toiling for years can attest to that. But there comes a time for most when the heat is on - from well-meaning family and friends - to think hard about doing something else. I'm sure you've probably heard one of these famous quotes before:
Mom spoke those well-meaning, heart-crushing words when I told her I wanted to be a professional musician. I think the words I actually used were "rock star", which may have prompted her advice. After all, being a rock star in the 90's wasn't as easy as it is today. You actually had to have talent and compete for a record deal with a major label in order to see real financial success.
Back then, during the "golden age" of music, who could have anticipated the collapse of the industry, the shift from physical to digital media, and the rise of the "Internet Star"? Heck, I recorded my first album just over 10 years ago, when social media was still a glimmer on the horizon.
Today, all you need is the Internet, a webcam, and a dream, and stardom is yours, right?
Not exactly.
See it's not about the big break, it's about the fifty. I might even go so far as to say it's not even about the fifty, but the hundreds, if not thousands of little breaks that happen almost every day.
Showing up every day to script and film your show, create your art, teach your audience, reach YOUR right people. Even if there are only five people in the room... even if no one shows up for your workshop.
When I decided to start teaching online classes, I didn't have a large list. Like everyone else, I started at zero. I remember when I got my first seven subscribers and I didn't know ANY of them! I felt like a rock star in that moment, for sure. Here were seven strangers who had signed up for my newsletter and wanted to learn what I was teaching.
I felt like I arrived. Over time, my list grew, and then came the day I posted my first event announcement and sign up form for a teleclass I was teaching. Three people signed up, and I was thrilled! I didn't have a big list - probably less than a hundred, but here I was leading my first workshop for three lucky people!
No one showed up on the line.
At this point, I had a few choices. I could cancel, reschedule the call for a better day and time, or just record the thing and share the recording.
I figured it was good practice, so why not just go ahead and record the thing? If anyone showed up late, they'd be able to ask questions to get caught up.
No one showed, but I recorded that class. And it was a good thing, too, because once I shared the audio, people listened, commented and shared. That led to more classes and a growing audience for my business.
Six years later, I got a call from someone who found that old recording online and hired me to speak at her event.
You just never know which one break will lead to the next. I guess you could say every break is a big break in waiting.
Creativity is about sharing your truth with the world. It's not about the medium, it's not even about the message. It's about being willing to be vulnerable enough to share yourself and let the world inside your brain for a minute or three... no matter how long it takes.
Steven Pressfield authored The Legend of Bagger Vance over the course of a few months. It was sold to a publisher three weeks later and optioned for a movie about a month after that.
He was 51.
He wrote his first novel when he was 24. That in-between time was all about the little breaks, as Pressfield writes:
"It wasn't all wilderness. Within those twenty-seven years, I earned a living for at least a dozen as a professional writer. I worked in advertising. I had a career as a screenwriter. And I spent six years writing unpublishable novels (which counts as work, too)."
Which brings me to that other iconic phrase:
It's often something we hear when someone isn't up to the task of their dream. A guy who wants to be a singer, but can't carry a tune in a bucket. A gal who dreams of being a dancer, but has two left feet. A kid with rotten comedic timing, who desires more than anything to have a spot on Saturday Night Live.
"Don't quit your day job" has been equated with failure.
I say it's time to reclaim the phrase. There's nothing wrong with a “day job” - if you're clear on your priorities and pursuits. Having a financial cushion will help you live more confidently and BE more confidently. It's easier to be your creative self when you're not afraid of how you'll get by if your Great Work isn't paying the bills.
They day job can a double-edged sword, to be sure. When I was jobless, I had plenty of time to create, but I also put an inordinate amount of pressure on myself to make my Great Work pay because I had kids, bills, and lifecrap that needed financial support or it would all fall apart.
With so much riding on everything you produce, you can imagine how much perfectionism and comparisonits can set in – two traits common in us Fusion-type creatives. I looked to “formulas”, “blueprints” and any other “surefire” approach that would help me generate an income. Trying to scrape by without the financial means that a day job could provide held me back for many years. I didn't say, do, or act on what I knew to be true, but followed the herd instead. My results were mediocre, at best.
When I let go of that fear, and gave myself permission to earn my living in the way that worked for me (and took the pressure of my Great Work) things shifted. I let go of the “shame” and “stigma” that most creatives ascribe to having a day job. As a result, I was able to be more creative AND make more money doing what I loved.
Funny how that happens.
Elizabeth Glibert, in her book “Big Magic,” confessed that she held down a job until well after “Eat Pray Love” made oodles of cash (she had written several earlier books). She never wanted to pressure her art into being the source of her survival.
Letting go of fear doesn't mean being “fearless”. Far from it. Letting go of fear means being willing to experience fear and not let it stop you.
I don't mean the "feel the fear and do it anyway" tripe that people like to profess. THAT is easy to say and hard to do. What I mean is being willing to own your fear and find ways to navigate it - support groups, or taking even smaller steps than you think you "should" be taking.
Like Confucius said "It doesn't matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop."
That's what I mean. It's not about jumping head first into the thing that scares the pants off you. It's not about speed to market. It's about doing what you can, as you are able, and just not quitting until you're done.
Instead of giving up entirely, and resigning our creative selves to life under the thumb of "The Man," let's take a page from the likes of Pressfield and Gilbert - who both held down other jobs while they relentlessly pursued their creative work.
Recognize your "day job" as your biggest sponsor, your Sugar Daddy, your benefactor - the one who keeps you clothed and fed so you can hone your craft.
And keep showing up for your Great Work, too. It might take you a dozen years, or three decades, or more. But does it really matter if you're doing what you love?
Someone asked me if there ever comes a time to quit. I'll save my full answer for another day, but here's the spoiler:
Don't quit your day job, and don't quit your dream. That next little break could be your big one.
Welcome to Day Four of the Creative Freedom Challenge. Here are links to Day One, Day Two, and Day Three so you can stay on track.
Today, I'm sharing an example of heart-centered marketing in action using what I call the "show & tell technique" It's a great way to bake the marketing right into your offering, and what better business to demonstrate this than a donut shop?
But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, let's talk baseball... sort of.
The movie "Field of Dreams" has been both an inspiration and a thorn in the side of creative entrepreneurs since its release in 1989. It's fun to fantasize about the throngs of people that will come to take part in and appreciate your Great Work in the world.
But what most people miss is the effort Ray Kinsella had to undertake before he ever made a dime with his ball field. In fact, he didn't even PLAN to earn a living from the field. He just kept hearing this voice telling him "if you build it, he will come."
(Notice, that little voice was only talking about one person? That's important to note.)
When many creative entrepreneurs first start out, they don't intend to make a living doing what they love, so this part of Ray's story is all too familiar for most of us.
Ray's neighbors in Iowa thought he was crazy when he started mowing down his corn, stringing lights, and building bleachers. MONTHS went by before Shoeless Joe appeared in the field (the first ghostly ball player from beyond the corn). It took even more time before enough players came to field a full team. By that time, Ray and his family were on the brink of losing everything. It's not until Ray's friend and daughter tell him that he could sell tickets and "people will come" that Ray understands what he's created.
This is the third issue I see so many creative, out-of-the-box entrepreneurs face in doing what they love and getting paid for it... they forget about the fact that it has to make a profit or it's not a business.
There's nothing wrong with plowing your cornfield under to build a ball field, just for the sake of having a ball field. But if you don't want to lose your farm, you need to find a way to make a living from it. And I don't mean squeaking by. I mean a profitable, sustainable living - without selling your soul.
You've got to let people know what you're up to. You have to be willing to put in the effort (and use heart-centered marketing to tell people about it), in order to see real, lasting results. Sure, there are folks that will think you're a little crazy - they said that about Lady Gaga, Steve Jobs, Thomas Edison, and a host of other out-of-the-box entrepreneurs, too! But if you're doing your part to let people know about what you've built, the right people will find you.
And they're going to LOVE you.
But what do you say? How do you tell people about your Great Work?
Smart, authentic selling isn't about pushing anyone or being slimy. Authentic selling is part of heart-centered marketing. It's the part of the conversation where you share your story about your offering with the people who most need or want what you have to offer.
You don't always have to tell the story. Sometimes, you can show it. Remember show and tell time at school as a child? I was always bummed when I forgot to bring my thing to show. Telling is fine, and I'm a pretty good talker, but when you can show - when people can experience your Great Work in a context that amplifies the meaning - it's a lot easier for people to say yes.
When I used to make and sell candles, we would regularly do craft shows where we weren't the only candle maker at the event. Sometimes, we had to compete with corporate competitors, too. Our display stood out because we used our vertical space to elevate the fragrances and make our little booth look more like a shop than a table of crafts. People could see us from across the room. We used twinkle lights to create motion and catch the eye. In short, we did everything we could to show our product in the best possible light (no pun intended).
It doesn't matter what your Great Work is. The more you can show (create an experience) the easier it is to sell.
A couple hours from where I live is a place called Cops and Doughnuts. When the Clare City Bakery was about to go belly up, a group of local cops bought it and transformed the little bakery into a mouthpiece for the community. The entire shop has a law enforcement theme (here's my "mug shot" from one of my multiple visits to the shop). The staff dress like convicts, the bathrooms look like jail cells (it's a poster they hang on the doors), and the cops wear their police uniforms. They've been written up in national publications and people come from all over the world to visit their little bakery and try one (or more) of their tasty pastries. It's quite an experience!
When you walk in, there's a huge display case with all kinds of interesting treats (including a cream-filled maple bar that's topped with bacon - no kidding!). The cops will interact with you, ask you questions, and make you feel welcome. They might even take a video of you singing and post it on their social media channels. They'll tell you about their different doughnuts and help you decide which flavor is right for you.
It's so much fun, and you never feel pressured to buy anything. Just helpful, engaging conversation about buying (and selling) coffee and doughnuts at the Clare City Bakery.
Show and tell at its finest.
What would happen if the employees dressed like every other doughnut shop employee? Or what if the cops put a curtain in front of the display case? How would you know what they've got to offer? Sure, the sign says "doughnuts" but most people want to know what options they have before they buy. I don't know many folks who walk in and say "Gimme a dozen doughnuts. Surprise me."
Smart, authentic selling shares the real you (warts, sparkles, and all) and removes the curtain from your display case so your potential buyer knows what you offer and how it can help (or delight) them.
It's not always about "solving a pain" - although I suppose if you're REALLY craving bacon you might make a case for that maple bar. As a musician, my music can inspire people and create delight. Some of my most viewed YouTube videos are my musical mashups - fun, funny parodies of popular music. It's not solving a pain, but it's definitely serving a delight.
Kind of like the doughnut shop - or "Field of Dreams" - it's up to you to educate people about how you serve them - about the experience you provide for them. Whether you're solving a pain or bringing them joy, be honest, authentic, and REAL with them by sharing the stories of your products and your company.
The best way to build a profitable, sustainable business doing what you love is to be yourself. Use YOUR words, tell your stories, and share your vision for what you're creating.
When you do it (and keep doing it, via heart-centered marketing), the right people will come.
Today, spend a little time thinking about your stories. What made you decide to start doing this thing that you love so much? How does it help (or delight) people? What kind of people does it help (or delight)? What stories do you have from your current customers that put your company or offering in a positive light?
Start thinking about what words you would use to tell these stories. Write them down and start practicing them. These stories are the threads that become the beautiful tapestry of your business. Stories sell. The better you get at telling (and showing) your stories, the more of your right people you'll attract.
On Day One of the Creative Freedom Challenge, we're taking a hard look at the biggest reason you're still stuck in energy-draining work, instead of getting paid well for doing what you love.
And it's not what you think.
Most people think the reason they're stuck is because they haven't made enough money yet to make the leap. If you're just getting started and stuck in a day job, that may be true. More on that in a minute. You can be several years into your career as a creative entrepreneur and still find you've created a "job" for yourself, doing things that aren't fulfilling - like putting out fires or picking up dropped balls.
In truth, "not enough money" is not the biggest reason you've stuck with your "job" for so long.
Lack of clarity often shows up in one of two areas:
1. Who you really are and what really matters in your life and Great Work (that's what we'll cover today).
2. How you want to show up in the world (we'll cover that next).
Amy Oscar is a friend and colleague. We met at a conference back in 2010, and she was kind enough to write the cover quote for my book, "The Secret Watch." Amy's building a global following on the back of her book "Sea of Miracles." Her Soul Caller program has evolved from a weekly free twitter chat into a series of courses, programs and retreats. She also does private sessions as an intuitive guide and healer. Amy has thousands of fans and followers around the world (some of them pretty well-known), and yet, with all those clear signs that she was on to something, she still hadn't quit her day job.
For more than 15 years, Amy was an editor for a national women's magazine. She LOVED her job, but as her Great Work through Soul Caller started picking up steam, she still hadn't let go of her day job to focus on her Great Work. Here's what Amy told me:
"I sensed that I'd put an important part of my soul in deep freeze."
She then told me how it took her months to untangle what was going on inside her. Ultimately Amy realized, when she considered her job versus her Great Work, the truth so many creative entrepreneurs face:
"One was always going to have me hiding behind someone else's glitter cape. I didn't just have a message. It was MY message to deliver. So many people are telling this story and each voice matters. Each story resonates. We need them all. Mine was different and it had to be heard."
Making the choice to pursue your creative calling can be complicated. It's not always easy. That's why clarity is so important.
Clarity comes from accepting your truth with what I call ruthless honesty: no judgement. Just seeing the facts for what they are.
Here's how Amy described her watershed moment:
"I was afraid to stand alone. It was never about the money. It was about my willingness to trust the world to love me when it could see me. And not just as a cog in someone else's wheel... It's about the willingness to come out of hiding. To stand in the light and be seen loving what I love. Being what I am. Which doesn't fit into anyone else's idea of what I could or should be or how I might serve their vision. It's about the willingness to step into the image I hold inside of my own heart of what I am.
"I realized that if I was going to be happy - and live a fully engaged, fully present life - I wasn't going to live a normal life. And I finally accepted that. I quit my job because the Soul Caller work was more important to me than a paycheck."
Amy got clear on the life she wanted to live, the Great Work she wanted to bring into the world, and who she would become in the process. When Amy got clear on who she was and how she'd outgrown her day job, she was ready to embrace her "own message to deliver" and share it with the world.
Amy's truth is a common one: more than the ability to make good money at it, the real issue behind making the shift into creative entrepreneurship is a lack of clarity (and perhaps a fear of being really seen).
Look, if a guy can earn a living wage making youtube videos about playing video games or unboxing action figures, there's no reason that you can't get paid well to do what you love, too. But you have to have clarity on who you are and what really matters to you before you can stake your claim on your Great Work and share it joyfully with the world.
Then, you've got to show up that way consistently. Sure, try it on and see how your Great Work can not only serve others, but also yourself. Once you've got clarity on that, you've got to have the confidence to step up and own your message in the marketplace on a regular basis.
But that's the next part of our challenge. 🙂
Today, spend a few minutes thinking about what REALLY matters to you - in your life and work. What are your non-negotiables? When I work with clients, we use what I call the 5 Key Areas of Success as the model for defining success on your own terms. Here are additional resources to help you get more clarity on what really matters and how you want to show up in the world:
Believe it or not, you already ARE a success. It may not feel like it right now, but it's true. Success is a destination, not a journey, and you're already here. Everything you've done (or failed to do) has led to this moment. Until you have clarity on what success looks like for your unique situation, it's pretty dang difficult to feel successful.
If you want to get all the updates in the Creative Freedom Challenge, along with a copy of my Raving Fans Toolkit, you can sign up right here (that box at the top of the page works, too).
What resources would you add to this list? Share your comments below and let's be a rising tide for everyone!
Thank you for the attention, the time, the support, and the VOICE you've given to a community that's had no voice for decades. While the "Flint Water Crisis" is just now in the spotlight, it's been going on for a few years now... and the bigger crisis in Flint has been going on for decades.
On one hand, I am thrilled beyond thrilled that my home, Flint, MI, is getting so much celebrity attention, because, as one minor celeb put it "maybe it will shame the responsible people into fixing the problem."
Wait. Say what?
While we all appreciate the support, I'm also all too aware at how quickly the spotlight fades. Lead poisoning has a lifetime of devastating effects, and while I'm glad for the millions of bottles of water being trucked in for Flint residents, I am also angry and cynical that this is just a PR stunt for so many of these celebs. It is easy to throw money at the problem and say you have done your part, but where will that support be in 5, 10, or 20 years when the people permanently affected by lead poisoning need continued educational and medical care?
Yes, Flint needs clean water right now, but this is a very long-term issue... And Flint is not the only city with issues like this. I know that while Flint is the "Tragedy Du Jour" you'll be tweeting, throwing cash our way, and maybe even holding a benefit concert or two (not in Flint, of course, but hey, at least you're helping!)
When I heard that Jimmy Fallon was donating $10k to the Flint water situation, I had mixed emotions. Yep. Ten grand is great, but it's also (no pun intended) a tiny drop in a very large bucket.
Here's what I mean:
When my husband and I bought our first home as a married couple (in what is now one of the hardest-hit zip codes in Flint), someone stole all the copper pipes out of the house before we could move in (yes, Flint is in THAT much financial peril, folks). I cost us nearly $10k to have the pipes and boiler replaced.
Which, if you do the math, means that Jimmy's wonderfully generous donation MIGHT help one home get replacement pipes. And that largely depends on who he donates it to, and how they use the funds. The Community Foundation of Greater Flint won't even use that money to fix the pipes, though they are making a plan for long-term supports for the children of the community (YAY!).
There are tens of thousands of affected homes for nearly a hundred thousand residents (plus all the vacant homes), and that doesn't count the underground pipes - which the government is estimating at approximately $1.5 Billion.
My friend Dave does a better job than I do of explaining how it's NOT the river's fault. At least, not entirely. Because the community knew the river had issues decades ago due to corporate dumping (Thanks, GM!), there's been a concentrated effort to clean it up. And the river, while somewhat corrosive, is, as Dave says, "well on its way to recovery". Kettering University even issued a report stating that it's not the river, it's the process between the river and the faucet that caused the problems.
#It'sNotTheRiver
When I was in my 20's, I played a game called SimCity 2000. In it, there was a scenario based on the 1970's industrial decline of Flint. I played that scenario for months and never could win (I am not the only one). I later learned that the fastest way to beat the scenario was to lower all the industrial taxes to zero.
If only it were that simple in real life. Governments across the country do stuff like this to woo industry to the area. You know, like when Michigan lowered taxes to lure film makers to our state. Semi-Pro, anyone?
But once the incentives are gone, there's no incentive to stay. Faster than that ill-fated Will Ferrell flick left the theaters (which was filmed in Flint, by the way), industry bails on the community that lured them there.
GM had it good for decades, and when globalization gave them greener pastures in places like Mexico, they split. And guys like Michael Moore (who can only claim Flint as his birthplace, NOT his home. Don't get me started!) use it as a platform to further their careers.
Ugh.
And now there's this whole water debacle. I won't go into what some people consider the politically or racially motivated aspects of this story. It's an incredible morass with lots of finger pointing at all levels of government that people are still trying to filter. The fact remains that people are sick, poisoned, and in a panic about whether or not they can trust the water coming out of their tap... for good reason.
Flint isn't the only city with aging - dare I say crumbling? - water infrastructure. If you look at many cities in America's so-called "rust belt" (of which, Sebring, Ohio, would also qualify), you see communities that held too tightly to the industries that left them for "greener pastures". These communities counted on that tax base, didn't plan accordingly, and when the corporations pulled out, were left with a shrinking tax base and bulging financial needs.
Now their infrastructures are failing. In Flint, an Emergency Manager was called in by the state to "fix" the problem. He's now "fixing" the problems in the Detroit public school system - with comparable results.
Unfortunately, Flint residents can't just opt to not participate as a show of protest. This is water we're talking about. We use it for just about everything.
Sure, it can be said that these communities didn't set up sinking funds to handle upgrading and improving infrastructure, but I don't place the blame at the feet of these communities. How could they know that the industries they wooed, that they pinned their hopes on, that they built their towns around, would abandon them?
But abandon them, they did. When I drive past the corner of Dort and Davison in Flint, I shake my head. Less than 5 years ago, a massive factory (Delphi Flint East) sprawled across the landscape. A bustling micro economy surrounded the facility: stores, restaurants, bars, gas stations. Now, the entire area is practically a wasteland, as the entire complex has been leveled, fenced, and "left for dead" - another contaminated brownfield in another Flint neighborhood.
There are those that believe clean, safe water isn't a universal human right (or that water should be privatized - take your pick). But privatization may or may not fix the infrastructure. Plus, nearly 40% of Flint residents live at or below the poverty line. More than 50% are minority groups. Mixed races (like me) make up about 3% of the population, while the city on the whole is predominantly black...in part due to decades of "white flight" to outlying areas.
So basically, the people who could afford to leave, did. The people who couldn't afford to leave are now trapped. Property values were already redlining across most of the city. Do you think it's going to get any better now that homes across the city have lead issues? Even with Flint back on the Detroit water system, the damage has been done.
And then there's the guilt... Because I was able to move out just before the water was switched (we are just outside the city now), but my son wasn't so lucky. He was there with his girlfriend when the city switched over to river water in 2014. Right away they knew there were problems ("cosmetic" according to government officials). They didn't drink it, thankfully, but they bathed and cooked with that water for nearly a year before he, too moved out of Flint.
They would come and visit regularly, and we'd send them home with all the water we could bottle up for them, since their locals stores were always sold out of bottled water. That was two years ago. We still don't know if it had a lasting impact because he isn't eligible for treatment because he doesn't currently live in Flint. Even undocumented aliens in the area haven't been able to get clean water because they can't prove residency (that's changing now, thankfully).
I understand the need for these rules, but this is SUCH a mess. The city has started sending out past due water notices and threatening to call child protective services if the bill isn't paid... Because state law requires running water in a house for child welfare, but apparently, it doesn't have to be drinkable.
Lastly, don't be fooled into thinking this is an isolated incident. The story of Flint's political intrigue and industrial decline could happen anywhere (and it has). You are not immune. Yes, perhaps bringing light to Flint will "shame those responsible into fixing the problem" - but more often than not, it doesn't work that way. And why should we have to shame people into doing what's right? What's happened to the world that it requires shame to get our leaders to actually lead our communities?
I am holding joy, guilt, pride, fear, anger, and skepticism in my heart right now. Because while the spotlight shines on Flint for a time, we all know that spotlight will eventually fade, and people will still be in need for many years to come.
So thank you, Hollywood, for being part of the solution in Flint, but realize that this is just a band-aid. Sure, we need band-aids, but they don't last. Ask yourself: will you be around when it's no longer "sexy" to be part of solving Flint's issues, or is this just another tool to further your career?
Take a look at the LONG list of people from Flint who have populated entertainment, sports, and more. For as many problems as this midwestern, middle of nowhere community has, it has been a fountain of magnificent people for decades. Some used to joke that all this amazing talent couldn't be a coincidence. "It must be something in the water" they used to say.
I wonder if they'd say that now?
Where would YOU be without the people from Flint?
To all my Flint ex-pats: How are you supporting the very community that made you? Did you leave with no desire of ever turning back? Did we forget from whence we came?
As an entrepreneur, I understand why companies pull out of a community for better economics, but as a human being I ache for the people left behind in a mess like this. I am committed to being part of the solution, and my company's shifting our giving for the next 15 years (at least) to support Flint's ongoing needs.
Band-aids have to be replaced. But Flint needs a long-term solution that no one person can provide, and I can only hope that all our drops together can flood the system and begin to heal this incredible nightmare.
Kind of like the amazing comeback of the Flint River itself.
[Editor’s note: This is the next installment in a series of posts. Each year since November, 2010, I've posted an annual re-cap of my happenings and a projection of things to come. If you're ambitious, curious, or just plain bored, you can find the previous posts here: 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 ]
For six years now, I've been selecting a theme to carry me into the new year. I'll get to this year's theme shortly, but before I do, let's look back at the crazy, effed-up, wonderfully horrible year we called 2015.
The theme for 2015 was Compassionate Determination, which was about creating my own niche, living as myself more consistently, and not wearing so many masks in my life and work. As I mentioned in my previous post, it's about progress, not perfection, and being consistent met with more challenges than I anticipated. I'll admit that sometimes I forgot it. It's easy to get overwhelmed in the day to day of working and living. I think John Lennon said "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" and that was a clear reflection of 2015. So much "life" happened.
Here's my recap of my 5 Key Areas of Success:
From a financial perspective, 2015 was awful. My total business income was roughly $3k.
Nope, that's not a typo. I didn't leave off a zero. Yes, it's scary to admit that.
Three thousand dollars. $3,000. USD.
And if I hadn't planned on it, everything else would have sucked, too.
Some would call me "lucky" and say that because I had a husband to "take care of me" I didn't need to make any money. But that's not true. My business has to stand on its own - without sucking money out of our family finances. I paid myself for the work I did during the year, and still managed to have one of the most profitable years on record (percentage-wise) in my business because of the strategies I implemented in 2014. Profitability, for me, is not just about the money anymore. It's about the quality of life.
Two things I knew I wanted to accomplish this year: re-focus my brand and get my album, The Fine Line, out into the world. A good portion of my income this year came in during my work on the web series $30 Days to $5k. It might be a spoiler to tell you that I didn't hit that goal, but the experiment in offering paid entertainment programming was a big success. I filmed a 30 day reality-type series and offered it for about what you'd expect to pay for a season of your favorite TV show. It was one of my biggest-selling offers of the year. People who watched it said they got a lot out of it and it gave them a deeper insight into what really matters to them as well as who I am and how I operate in the world.
As for re-focusing my brand, well, that wasn't as easy as I'd hoped. I began my online coaching journey about 10 years ago, working with direct sellers almost exclusively. In fact, Direct Sales Classroom and its flagship program, Direct Sales 101, still serve clients from all over the world, even though I don't promote that website much at all. People still find that site via search engines, which speaks to how well it's positioned in the marketplace, despite my lack of attention through the years.
A few years ago, as my audience expanded, I started waffling back and forth, working with all kinds of entrepreneurs. Best selling authors, direct sales leaders, and even people who have chronic health problems have come to me seeking new ways to reach more of their right people using the internet. It made it very difficult to clarify who I help best. As a result, I had clients all over the map, and I couldn't figure out their common denominator in a way that would allow me to speak to them with confidence and clarity... something I'm pretty good at helping other people do.
Oy.
"I ran away in shame and pride, but the echo in my heart keeps telling me to try." - What Love Can Do
So, 2015 was the year I dug in and got market clarity. I researched, tested, tweaked, interviewed, listened, and spent countless hours honing in. Some would say I spent too much time listening, and not enough time "shipping", but I disagree. I debuted the first season of "Creative Freedom", launched two new training programs, an album, and the aforementioned paid web series. Add to that my music videos with Des, and it was a pretty full year - it just wasn't focused on making a lot of money. It was focused on testing the market, validating demand, and really listening to what my audience was telling me.
So often entrepreneurs, especially creatives, throw so much spaghetti on the wall they don't have time to see what's really sticking because they're too busy cleaning up their mess. Chaotic Creatives want everything to show up a certain way. Linear Creatives want results YESTERDAY, and Fusions want it all.
In that pursuit, there's a lot of rushing, a lot of hurry, a lot of "hustle" that, frankly, can kill you, and I wasn't having any of that.
On the physical fitness front, I learned a lot about what triggers me as an emotional eater. I learned that I have cycles of "bad eating choices" that coincide with school breaks. In short, when the kids are home, I stress out and eat more... or at least, I did, until I figured that out. Now, I'm spending more time in my new office (more on that in a bit), and less in the kitchen - which was the hub of activity in our old house. I'm inching my way down the scale, and I'm buying smaller clothes. All good signs in my book.
I also watched "the hustle" nearly ruin four colleagues last year. They all hit major financial milestones, but their health and mental well-being fell apart. One nearly died from a burst appendix because they were "playing through the pain" to complete a project launch. Sure, they hit six figures, but it cost them a lengthy hospital stay in the process. Another pushed so hard to launch her program and hit seven figures (while she was pregnant and due any day), that after it was all over, she spent a week doing nothing but waking up, feeding the baby, and going back to sleep. She admitted to being depressed, unmotivated, and exhausted.
Gee, I can't imagine why.
To be clear: they were not my clients. I don't advocate that kind of approach. The "push. push, push" approach to "fast cash" attacks the heart of what it really takes to build a profitable, sustainable business. Sure you can work like crazy (well, some people can), but then you have no life. I remember the great Jazz vocalist, Wesla Whitfield, once saying that people told her she'd never have a career in Jazz if she stayed in San Francisco. She replied "That's right! I'll have a life!"
This fabulous woman - who was paralyzed by a shooting in her twenties - is a staple in Jazz music, with over 500 songs in her repertoire, dozens of albums to her credit, and a musical legacy that has inspired people all over the country. She's been doing what she loves for decades, despite her circumstances, and making a good living doing it.
That is what profitable and sustainable looks like. Yes, it's glamorous to brag about making millions of dollars in less than half a nanosecond, but that's not the norm. Not for creative entrepreneurs who are in it for the long haul.
And I am.
On the mental fitness front, I challenged myself and read over 25 books this year - and not all of them non fiction! I spent time with Shakespeare's sonnets and whole lot of Dr. Seuss, alongside helping Lewis Howes and Michael Port launch their new books into the world last fall.
In the process, I got inspired to write another book, which is nearing completion. Creative Freedom is a how-to book specifically for Creative Entrepreneurs who want to make good money doing what they love serving an audience that loves them right back. I spent a good part of the year meeting, interviewing, and learning about all kinds of creatives, which led me to develop my Creative Freedom Entrepreneur Type Quiz. Hundreds of people have taken the quiz and it's been a big help to my research for the book.
I also met some really fascinating people (that's me and Tajci Cameron in the photo), reconnected with some old friends and colleagues, and had some challenging conversations about race, gender, diversity, and inclusion. I was really proud of myself for NOT shying away from those conversations, which I might have done in previous years, just to avoid conflict. Being myself, fully and completely, means being willing to speak my truth, in love, with the people that matter most to me.
That wasn't always easy this year.
Which brings me to the hardest subject of the recap. The people that matter most to me. As I mentioned in my last post, 2015 was a long slog at figuring out what really matters. What's staying, what's going, and all that jazz. We talked early in the year about relocating to Nashville, but that didn't happen. Lots of emotional baggage and childhood trauma reared its head. Tempers flared. Things were said. We survived it. The upshot was my need for freedom. To be mobile, agile, and able to travel. I need people. My husband doesn't. He's content to live like a hermit. I am not. So we bought a house (which actually saved us a good deal of money every month),and upgraded my car.
Then, I asked my husband for a divorce.
I don't say that glibly. There's no joy in that sentence. It's taken years to make this decision, and I didn't make it lightly. I truly love my husband and want nothing but the best for him. Even after 12 years together (10 as a married couple), our wants and needs are still in opposition to one another, and that's painful for both of us. If one of us is happy, the other is frustrated or feeling anxious, which doesn't make it easy to be married to each other. I want him to be truly happy, in a meaningful relationship with someone that is in alignment with what he wants and needs. I want that for myself, too. I believe we'll both have happier, more enjoyable lives if we're not married to each other.
"My wounds are deep, I can't deny. And the salty rivers flow down my face 'til they run dry." - What Love Can Do
So while I intended to take only a month off for the move last fall, it turned into a season-long hiatus because of depression, fear, and other emotional baggage that I had to work through to come clean in my relationship with my husband. There's no need for commentary, and we're still in the early stages of sorting this through. We're committed to doing this our way as much as possible - focused on doing right by our son, giving him the best possible environment in which to thrive, with no mud-slinging, fighting, or passive-aggressive behavior. We're still in the same house. We're still co-parenting, and for now, there are no plans to change that. I'm sure that will evolve as time moves on, but for now, that's where we're at and it works for us.
The new album is out in the world and has already outperformed my last two albums combined. That was a huge leap of faith for me. I can't tell you how many people (friends and family alike) told me that it was a bad idea to do an album of pop-infused jazz and blues tunes. Nobody will buy it. Nobody will listen to a jazz version of Paula Abdul's "Straight Up" or Bon Jovi's "Bad Medicine" - well, maybe once, but who's going to listen to it over and over again?
Apparently at least three times as many people as bought my last two albums combined.
I can start breathing again.
"I heard a whisper on the wind and an echo in my heart tryin' to tell me to begin." - What Love Can Do
I put a lot of time and effort into this album. After spending several years working myself to the middle of 300 songs, and bringing Des on board as a permanent fixture last year, it was time to put the album to bed and get it out into the world. But it didn't exactly go as planned.
All kinds of things tried to thwart our progress. I got sick several times and ended up not being able to record the vocals until after we completed the move. We kept pushing back the launch date until, finally, I bumped it to 2016, just to be sure I could get the project done.
After getting sick a few more times during and after the move, I recognized the tell-tale signs of an upper-limit problem. So I focused on extreme self care for the remainder of the year, just so I could finish the album.
Mission accomplished.
I expect 2016 will be more of the same. I just turned 41, and women keep telling me that your 40's are the best years of your life, So I'm going to try and hold them to it. I've got new tools and support options launching this year, and I'm getting closer and closer to the core of ME.
My goal this year is to come to terms with my divorce with grace and compassion (for both of us). In the process, I've still got work to do: a summer concert tour, a new group coaching program for creative entrepreneurs, and of course, the launch of Creative Freedom - the book and the second season of my web show. Oh, and I'll be studying acting with Kevin Spacey this Spring, booya!
Those are just the tip of what appears to be an exciting iceberg for 2016.
Let's pray we don't run aground, okay?
"Once again your love is calling with the words, so gentle, and so clear." - What Love Can Do
It's about stepping up, stepping out, and shining my light for all my world (or at least my right audience) to see. It's scary, but it's also pretty freaking awesome. I already have a great story to share (but I'll save it for the next blog post). It takes a certain level of clarity, confidence, and courage to show up every day as yourself - warts, sparkles, and all - without letting the world deter you. The good news is, you already know how, because it's born in you. You were made to be you. And I was made to be me. And that's exactly what the world needs. Judy Garland said it's better to be a first rate version of yourself than a second rater version of someone else.
That is what I'm up to in 2016.
It's a work I began in earnest last year: peeling off the layers of dust and debris, practicing showing up as me - even if people might find the real me a bit to their disliking. As luck would have it, the more me I shared, the better my friendships became - even if we didn't always see eye to eye. Relationships got real. People drew nearer, and they didn't run screaming for the hills as I feared they would.
That's the power of love - loving yourself and putting as much time and energy there as you do any of your other relationships. For decades, I didn't. I put everyone else before me. I even taught this stuff, for pity's sake, but we often teach what we most need to learn. Turning and returning to a place of love and loving service (to myself and others), that is what I choose to radiate in 2016.
What about you?
[Note: this is the condensed version of my annual year in review. A more in-depth piece is coming next week, but since today is a special day, I thought this was timely and appropriate.]
I "broke" my first resolution ON New Year's Day. I don't tend to take them too seriously, but since it's a cultural tradition, I try my hand at considering waht would really serve me during the new year. One of those things is to eliminate gluten from my diet completely (long story).
But as we rang in the new year, I was happily munching on a cookie or something.
2016 is already reminding me that it is about progress, not perfection.
Since today is my birthday, and it's only a few days after the new year, it's always a great opportunity for some personal reflection. I was ready to shed my skin and embrace more of my true self in 2015. I was turning 40, and dammit, I was gonna be myself whether people liked it or not.
What I forgot was that, in order to shed skin, there's a lot of writhing and friction before you emerge victorious with more wiggle room. I wasn't ready for all the writhing, all the friction, and all the other things, people, etc. that I had to let go of that we're part of my "old skin". As a result, 2015, though punctuated by some pretty awesome experiences (like finishing my album (on sale now!), getting a car, meeting new friends, and reconnecting with some old friends), was mostly a long slog at figuring out what gets to stay and what will go when the shedding is complete.
I don't regret the work, and I am certainly ready for more peace and ease this year. 2015 was hard and painful for me, but I am choosing to see the friction and writhing as a necessary step to the beautiful re-emergence that 2016 promises to hold.
This year, however, I am practicing more compassion with myself. Instead of expecting that things "should have already happened by now" I am setting the intention to just be where I am as much as possible and own the truth of my life and work. It is what I've chosen to make it, for better or worse. There will always be someone who doesn't get it, doesn't like it, or doesn't care. I am not living and working for them. I am living and working for me... and the people who love and need me most are the ones who don't want a watered down, bastardized version of me. They need me to be 100% Lisa.
So that is my real New Year Resolution: to show up as honestly and authentically as I can in each moment - without masks, without fakery, warts and all (and sparkles, too!). I can't promise it will always be pretty, but I will do my best to always be real.
Reality is messy sometimes. It's how we clean up the mess that shows our true nature. (tweet this)
In my book, The Secret Watch, I wrote that "the best gift you can give is time and attention" - and that's all I want for my birthday. Hop over to iTunes (or your preferred music outlet) and give my new album a listen. If you like it, rate it, share it - heck, even buy a copy or two). Let the world know about the precious people who helped make this project possible. At last count something like 30 people helped bring this project to life in one way or another, and it wouldn't have happened without each and every one of them. And BECAUSE I had so much help, this album is leaps and bounds beyond the quality of my last two projects. I'm just So humbled and grateful for the work that everyone put into making #TheFineLine such a world-class project.
That's my birthday wish for me. Now, my wish for you:
May you have an exceptional year filled with all the wealth, faith, truth, beauty, love, justice, and peace you can handle.
Happy New Year. #BringItOn2016
As a recovering overachiever, I've learned a thing or two about spinning plates. In fact, some might call me a pro. I can't count the number of times I've heard someone say:
"Damn, Lisa! How do you manage to get so much done?"
"Lisa, you are EVERYWHERE! How do you do it?"
"You seem like you've got a lot going on, Lisa. How do you manage it all?"
The truth is, my days are fairly light. I may have an appointment or two on a given day, but I spend a lot of time home alone, focused on doing the work. Whether that's practicing piano, scripting or filming a new video, or taking my kids to the doctor, I've created crystal clear priorities that keep me on track.
For all the stuff I am doing, I still say "no" to a lot of things that don't mesh with my priorities.
And yet, I'm not perfect. I still manage to say "yes" to enough activities that can distract me and take me off course from time to time.
What I've learned in my years as an entrepreneur and coach is that it's easy to get distracted from your priorities (REALLY EASY). Add to that the fact that very few people will volunteer to hold you accountable to your priorities, and you've got a recipe for overwhelm.
So how do you mitigate overwhelm and keep your business on track? Here are 5 tips to help you create a focus and stick with it throughout the year.
1. Pre-plan your priorities. In my Dreamblazing program, we set your objectives for the next 12 months, and then we prioritize them. By deciding your priorities in advance, you've got a filter you can pass every opportunity through for the coming months. By pre-planning your priorities in this way, you've got a much better chance at staying on task and not getting sidetracked by pop-up "emergencies" or "special opportunities" that don't support your priorities. For example, one year, my top priority wasn't in my business - it was to build a healthier relationship with my son. When I had the opportunity to speak at an event that conflicted with a commitment I'd made with him, I had to say no to that opportunity. Did I miss out? Not based on my priorities. I held firm to what was most important for me at that time. It would have been easy to re-prioritize in the moment - especially if we'd needed the money. But I'd made a decision months earlier to focus on quality time with my son. That decision made saying "no" easier.
Pre-planning your priorities isn't just an annual thing. I use The PEACE System to clarify my priorities on a daily basis. By making sure my top priorities are on my radar each day, I accomplish more of what matters in less time, because I'm not distracted as often.
2. Guard your self-care time. This has been the most valuable lesson of my business career. When lots of tasks, challenges, and opportunities are coming down the pike at the same time, it's easy to neglect your personal time. Everybody wants a piece of you. Everybody wants to pick your brain, get a little of your time, and it all adds up. Next thing you know, it's been days since you've had a shower, and you can't remember when you had any white space in your day.
Not that I speak from experience, or anything.
When I was working as an Admin in the automotive industry, I routinely managed the calendars of six (yep, SIX) executives. I was their sole support person, which meant juggling the needs and priorities of five high-powered, driven, single-minded guys - and one woman who was probably the most driven of them all. Multitasking was my specialty. But self-care was not. I remember the day I came to work in a pair of hose I'd rinsed out and blow-dried that morning because I'd put in so many hours at work I'd forgotten to do my laundry.
Self care is making sure you've got time to see to your own needs. It isn't always about going to the spa and getting a massage - though that's nice, too. It's about white space in your day. The auto industry was filled with people who'd wolf down lunch in 5 minutes - never leaving their desk because of an all-day conference call. I watched these execs turn their offices into sleeping quarters, changing rooms, and occasionally a bathroom (don't ask).
That's what a lack of self-care looks like. I've spend the last 10 years shifting away from that, creating more "white space" in my life so that when a true emergency crops up (like a phone call from my kid's school, asking me to come get him), it's not a Herculean task to rearrange my day. A quick call or an email and I've got things handled.
3. Right-size your expectations. There's a running joke that if you give a man a piece of paper and a list of things to do, he'll use as little of the paper as possible, whereas a woman will fill up that to-do list, turn the page over, and keep on writing. It's easy to find things to do, things that need our attention, and that's where overwhelm starts the slow creep. I don't care who you are, without a small army, it's virtually impossible to clean an entire house, prepare three meals from scratch for a family of four, do all the dishes, take all the kids to all their appointments, balance the P&L statement, create your blog content, do three interviews, create four web pages, host a webinar, make seven sales calls, get in an hour of exercise, take a nap, and be bright eyed and bushy tailed, showered and shaved for your evening out with friends. And if you have a chronic illness or need to take care of ailing loved ones, you have to expect even less of yourself.
It doesn't make you a bad business person. It means you're human! Something has to give. Maybe you get a support team, call in reinforcements, or just postpone some happenings for another day. As much as you might like to believe it, NO ONE can do it all (so quit trying!).
Right-sizing your expectations means getting more of the right things done. (tweet this)
Coming down off a multi-tasking high in the auto industry, I had to re-assess what I was truly capable of on a given day. I knew I wanted more white space, more peace and ease, but I was also used to getting a lot done in a day. At first, my to-do lists were incredibly long. Then I let the pendulum swing the other way: no more than one appointment per day. Over time, I managed to find a "groove" that works for me: most days are appointment free, with two days a week dedicated to handling scheduled appointments (coaching calls, doctor visits, etc.) This gives me plenty of white space to stay in creative flow, while also giving me plenty of energy to handle the scheduled appointments during one or two days of the week (and lots of energetic "recovery time" thereafter).
4. Get an accountability partner. My pal Winnie has been my stalwart business buddy for over two years now. We connect via skype almost every week, and together we've launched best-selling books, grown new business divisions, re-branded, and so much more. There's no way I could have stayed the course over the past two years without her willingness to show up and hold me accountable for the priorities I've set for myself. We don't nag each other. We know that priorities change, and we go with that flow. But we're also willing to call B.S. on each other when we're dragging our heels on a project to which we've committed.
An accountability partner provides a powerful level of support & encouragement on a frequent basis. Because you're working together, there's an added benefit that you're going to learn from each other. I count Winnie as one of my best friends - not just because she knows where all the bodies are buried! It takes a certain kind of person to be willing to put up with me, call me on my crap, and still be willing to cheer me on and celebrate my successes. And I get the honor of doing the same for her.
5. Make friends with "no". Get used to saying (and hearing) no a lot more often. When you ask for help, sometimes the answer will be no. Keep asking. It's not always because you don't want to say yes. Sometimes you need to say no because it's not in alignment with your priorities. That's wonderful. Oh, and don't take it personally when someone else tells you no.
I remember coming home from a week-long workshop a while ago. Upon my return, one of my clients called to "fire" me. I was SO happy for them that it kind of threw them off guard. They didn't need me anymore, and while I knew it, they couldn't imagine a different path than they one they'd envisioned with me on it. I had even suggested they replace me with an employee at much less cost, but it wasn't happening... until I left for the week.
That time away gave them clarity to see new possibilities and alternatives that would better suit them and their bottom line. When I picked up the phone and heard "we've decided not to renew your contract," all I could say was "HOORAY! THAT'S AWESOME!" It totally threw my client for a loop because it wasn't the answer they were expecting. I reminded my client that my sole purpose was to help them get profitable and find the path that worked for them. They were finally taking my advice which meant a more profitable direction for their company. Keeping me on wouldn't be in alignment with their best interests, nor mine. So, like Nanny McPhee, it was time for me to go.
Bonus tip: Be forgiving with yourself. In all my years of prioritizing and planning, I still get it wrong from time to time. Nobody's perfect. Even the best laid plans change. Pick a course and stick with it to the best of your abilities, but if something happens that requires a redirect (like your kid going to jail), go with it. When I was a financial advisor, we were taught that "life happens every six months." So rather than rail against it, we made a plan for it. I still do. My Dreamblazing program has built-in check-ins every quarter, to ensure that the priorities you've set are still the right ones for you.
Let me hear from ya! What's been keeping you in overwhelm lately? How do you manage to get more of the right things done? Share your comments below and let's be a rising tide for the entire community.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've been offering up tools, ideas, and resources that I usually find helpful this time of year to help me get a jump start on the new year. From The Success Finder, to my new Dream Owner's Creed, and the Profit First Instant Assessment, each has been a part of what I use to get more clarity and move more confidently toward my future.
This week has been a little heady for me. On Sunday, I posted a song from my last concert with a story about a music teacher who realized his musical dreams as part of one of the most influential progressive rock bands in America. But then he had a kid, started looking around at the world, and realized that things weren't always what they were cracked up to be. So he wrote a song of hope as he was birthing his son into the world.
I still get a little teary-eyed when I hear that song. A bunch of people emailed and tweeted to connect with me and share that song with their networks. I didn't expect that kind of response from such a simple hymn-like tune.
Then, on Monday, we launched the Dreamblazing program with very little fanfare (there's still time to join, if you'd like). I've been going through it right along with the participants, and in the process, I've gotten the gut feeling that a lot of people are feeling stuck right now.
And I wanted to do something about it.
From now through the end of the year, I'm inviting you to schedule a no-cost 30 minute session with me to help determine your next steps in having a business and life you love. This isn't therapy, counseling, or tax/legal planning - that's not my area of expertise. What I'm good at is seeing the big picture, and how all the parts and pieces fit together in a way that creates more meaning, gives you more freedom, and provides you with a clear path to a profitable, sustainable business.
I call that a Noble Empire and an Inspired Life.
Interested? Click here to schedule your time.
What to expect:
Once you're scheduled, I'll be sending you some simple instructions. Nothing heavy-duty. Just the basic background info. Then, when we're in session together (call or skype), we'll dig into where you feel stuck, and I'll help you see where to get unstuck. It might mean referring you to a book, program, or professional that I know that can help. Or it might just be a mindset shift we can make right on the call. Whatever I think will be most helpful to you (based on your current situation), is what I'll be sharing with you in our session.
There are lots of reasons, actually. Because of the projects I've been involved in this year, I've not had a lot of time to lead teleclasses or workshops. That means I haven't been connecting with you as much as I'd like - hearing what's going on for you.
Being out of touch with your clients means you're out of touch with what's important to them (click to tweet). That's the fastest route to going out of business! Talking with you individually really helps me know who's reading my posts, what's going on in your world, and how I can better serve your needs.
Also, this is the time of year when things can get pretty crazy and a cool head, or objective viewpoint can be a blessing. I have the space in my calendar and I'd love to be that third eye for you!
Lastly, each year around Thanksgiving, I try to do something to give back to my online community. Last year, we gave away over 1,000 copies of my book, and we're doing another book re-launch next week (watch for an email on Monday!)
This year, I wanted to do something a little more personal. I've got a phobia I'm working on overcoming, and this will really help me immerse myself in serving with love instead of focusing on fear.
While I can't guarantee everyone will get a spot on my calendar, I've opened up hundreds of time slots over the remainder of the year (limit one per person, yo!). If you've ever wondered what it's like to work with a coach, or what it's like to work with me, there's never been a better time to give it a try.
In blessings and peace,
-Lisa
P.S. Last time, I promised to share a video I filmed about dealing with toxic relationships. You can find that here.
Ever have one of those moments where you think you know how something is going to go, and then it turns out completely differently, but it still works to your favor?
That was my experience last week when I asked my facebook connections to vote on a video topic for a contest I'm entering. I asked them to choose between these two topics:
Hands down, the winner was #1 - in all but one group where the vote was evenly split. For whatever reason, people I know can really relate to the struggle of showing up fully as themselves - a malady I can SO relate with.
But here's the thing... both topics are really about the same thing.
It almost sounds like a dangerous idea, right? I mean, there are "blueprints" and "formulas" galore in the world. There are gurus, guides, and coaches who want nothing more than to sell you their 'proven system' to help you be "successful" in some area or another of your life or work.
Heck, I'm a mentor myself. I have systems and tools that I use and offer to others, so it stands to reason I could lump myself in that category, too, right?
I wouldn't blame you if you did.
The thing that I hope sets me apart is that I detest the one-size-fits-all approach that so many leaders laud. A lot of people tread that path, and in my experience that's where the mediocre are. Back in my direct sales days, there was a "technique" that was touted as a sure-fire way to get business: pass out your business card to everyone with a pulse. Does it work? Sure. Eventually. But it's painful, awkward, and gives you a bad reputation.
Cookie cutter "blueprints" have their place. Like making cookies, or building houses. You want to know, before you invest your resources, a reasonable idea of what the end result will be. But you can take one blueprint and build two "identical" houses and they won't even be close to the same. Why? Location, interior decoration, and other considerations that have nothing to do with the blueprint itself. Likewise, three people can take the exact same cookie recipe and have three dramatically different results. Why? Again, lots of considerations that have nothing to do with the recipe itself.
The difference in the house and the cookies lays squarely with the owner. Who's the one doing the building, the decorating, the baking? That's what's really going to dictate how things shake out. That's something most coaches and gurus don't take into account in their blueprints.
Frameworks are helpful, but you can't expect to duplicate someone else's success because you are not that person! Believe me. I've invested my share of cash into training, blueprints, and frameworks. Any time they're a step-by-step "here's what I did to be successful" approach, it falls flat. Because I'm not them! I've been coaching and training for almost 10 years, and while there are some common themes, every client is different. There are no two people, no two businesses that are exactly alike. Even in direct sales, where every consultant is selling the exact same product from the exact same catalog, the results are markedly different because of WHO is doing the selling and HOW they are doing it.
A blueprint or a framework can show you how, but it may not work for who you are. It's the underlying principles, the concepts, and the WHY this worked that matters. Once you know WHY something works, you can figure out HOW to apply it to your situation in a way that works for WHO you are.
It was my very first tagline and it's still true. You are the most important piece of the puzzle in growing a profitable, sustainable business. Without you, it's just another product, another service, another offering. You are what makes it special. But if you're spending all your time, money, and energy trying to fit yourself into the mold of someone else, you're missing out on your biggest opportunity for success.
Showing up as yourself more completely means being willing to own your shadow and your light. None of us - not even the well-paid gurus and muckety mucks of the world are perfect. No matter how much spit and polish they put on. We all have bad days, make poor choices, and then have to live with the consequences. Being willing to admit your imperfections takes courage, and a little vulnerability, it's true. What I've learned, though, is that when I am willing to show up as myself - warts, sparkles and all - it gives the people around me permission to show up as themselves, too. It's an upward spiral that perpetuates itself.
When I finish speaking in front of an audience, I usually hear two comments. The first is usually about my energy and enthusiasm. The second is about how refreshing it is to see me be so "real" on the stage. They appreciate that I speak without talking down, insulting their intelligence, or making them feel inferior. They appreciate that I'm not afraid to tell the messy stories of my life. It gives them confidence to share their stories - sometimes just with me, but often with a larger audience they've been nervous to talk to.
From my perspective, life is messy. We all know that, yet so many people try to pretend otherwise. Embrace your mess, maybe even love it a little, since that's where the juicy stories come from. That's what makes you relatable.
Don't be afraid to be yourself. It's a job no one else is equipped to do. (click to tweet)
That doesn't mean you have to air all your dirty laundry. I do my best to share my stories in ways that are helpful to others. I'm one of those people who believes that if you can learn from my mistakes, then you won't have to repeat them. I also believe that every choice I've made (for better or worse) has led me to this moment. That if there's something from my journey that can help you on yours, then I want to he able to share it.
We've all put on the brave face, the happy face, the facade that says everything's okay when it's not. But I'm talking about something deeper. You've heard me talk about "The Pretender" and "The Coward" before. One mask protects you from the world, the other protects the world from you. Yet, neither serves your highest good. You have to take off your masks to risk being truly seen.
When you know who you are, you aren’t afraid to admit who you are not. I'm not a scientist. That's my husband. When the kids come home with math homework, I quickly remind them I was a music major in college, so I can count to 12 and divide by 7, but that's about it. I know my limitations there. But it's easy for me to forget those limitations when I slip on the mask of what a good mom is "supposed" to be. I'm pretending. It's frustrating. And it's just digging my hole deeper.
Once you start wearing a mask, it becomes risky to remove it. Showing up as yourself means letting people see what you don't know, what you can't do, what you aren't capable of in this moment. That's scary stuff.
But it also means showing people what you do know, what you can do, and what you are truly capable of in this moment. That is sometimes even more scary.
I grew up in a "gifted" program full of smarty pants kids. We were all too smart for our own good and socially awkward. Most of us had one or two things that we really knew - we were smarter than even the smart kids! But if we dared to show our intelligence in that area, we were quickly brought down a peg by someone who was smart in another area - just to show us that we didn't know everything.
Sadly, that attitude doesn't leave us when we're adults. So being seen as smarter, faster, or better than someone else can become an equally heavy burden and scary proposal.
Masks, to me, are like McDonald's. Once you've seen it, you know what to expect. When you walk into a McDonald's you pretty much know what's on the menu, where the bathroom is, and how competent the counter help will be. On those rare occasions when they're offering a special menu item (remember McDonald's pizza?) it throws you off. Now you're not sure what to expect. That could be good or bad, but either way, you're thrown for a loop for a minute while you get your bearings.
Masks become a cultural shorthand. The problem is that humans grow and change, and masks don't fit forever. Try taking a picture of yourself when you were a child and wearing it around during the day. Unless it's Halloween, people are going to be thrown off. Why is this grown-ass person wearing the face of a small child? What are they hiding? Why are they hiding?
Peeling off the masks is a must-do. How can we fall in love with you if we can't see who you are? If you're wearing a mask, we're not falling in love with you, we're falling in love with the mask, and that creates all kinds of internal backlash and self-loathing. It's a vicious downward spiral that keeps us trying on different masks, hoping that one will eventually fit.
It takes guts, and tremendous amounts of courage to be true to what really matters to you. Lady Gaga takes a risk every time she steps out in public in one of her crazy ensembles. Yet, it's far less of a risk than playing small and not owning her outlandishness. If you fell in love with "small-playing" Lady Gaga, you just might have a heart attack watching her tramp around in some of her crazier get-ups. Her outspoken, outlandish appearance is part and parcel to who she really is.
To deny any part of you is to deny all of you.
You can't say "that's not my hand" when it's clearly connected to your body. If you deny the hand, you deny the body. Likewise to deny what's important to you (family, faith, travel, relationships, etc.), is to deny YOU. You can't deny a part of you. You're denying your whole self, because that "part" is woven into the very tapestry of your existence. It's a meaningful thread of who you are... whether it's a piece from your past, your present, or your future, it's every bit as important as every other part of you.
In the next few days, I'll be sharing a special gift with my subscribers to help remind them to remove their masks and show up more consistently as themselves. If you'd like to get it, be sure you're subscribed above. In the comments below, I'd love to hear your stories. When did you recognize you were wearing a mask? Did you choose to take it off? Why? What happened as a result? It's in sharing your stories that we lift each other up.
I chuckle now as I look back on my collegiate career. Convinced that I was "too poor" to be able to afford to hire a band, a graphic designer, or a business manager, I learned how to do all those things myself. I took classes in business, law, graphic design, and music. My first album (recorded during my time in college) features no other instrumentalists. Every track was laid down electronically. I mixed my own vocals, designed my own cover. I did have a friend shoot the pictures, but that was only because he had a camera and was willing to help.
Can you imagine the comic nature of me trying to set up a shot, run around to the back of the camera, set a timer, and run into the shot again? Don't laugh. I found myself doing exactly that in a recent photo shoot for The Sweet Browns - a vocal group I'm working with locally. I think we ended up taking that shot 4 or 5 times before I got situated in time for the flash.
In my family, it somehow meant we're weak, that we can't do "it" on our own... whatever "it" happens to be. I grew up in a family of strong, independent women, and had a pretty stubborn lineage of men in my life as well. We simply didn't ask for help. The downside to all that independence is that you pass it on. I watch my boys (8 and almost 18) think they have to have it all figured out. That they simply can't ask for help. They either have to wait for it to be offered, or they have to struggle through the frustration on their own.
(more…)