[Editor’s note: This is the next installment in a series of posts. Each year since November, 2010, I've posted an annual re-cap of my happenings and a projection of things to come. If you're ambitious, curious, or just plain bored, you can find the previous posts here: 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 ]
For six years now, I've been selecting a theme to carry me into the new year. I'll get to this year's theme shortly, but before I do, let's look back at the crazy, effed-up, wonderfully horrible year we called 2015.
The theme for 2015 was Compassionate Determination, which was about creating my own niche, living as myself more consistently, and not wearing so many masks in my life and work. As I mentioned in my previous post, it's about progress, not perfection, and being consistent met with more challenges than I anticipated. I'll admit that sometimes I forgot it. It's easy to get overwhelmed in the day to day of working and living. I think John Lennon said "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" and that was a clear reflection of 2015. So much "life" happened.
Here's my recap of my 5 Key Areas of Success:
From a financial perspective, 2015 was awful. My total business income was roughly $3k.
Nope, that's not a typo. I didn't leave off a zero. Yes, it's scary to admit that.
Three thousand dollars. $3,000. USD.
And if I hadn't planned on it, everything else would have sucked, too.
Some would call me "lucky" and say that because I had a husband to "take care of me" I didn't need to make any money. But that's not true. My business has to stand on its own - without sucking money out of our family finances. I paid myself for the work I did during the year, and still managed to have one of the most profitable years on record (percentage-wise) in my business because of the strategies I implemented in 2014. Profitability, for me, is not just about the money anymore. It's about the quality of life.
Two things I knew I wanted to accomplish this year: re-focus my brand and get my album, The Fine Line, out into the world. A good portion of my income this year came in during my work on the web series $30 Days to $5k. It might be a spoiler to tell you that I didn't hit that goal, but the experiment in offering paid entertainment programming was a big success. I filmed a 30 day reality-type series and offered it for about what you'd expect to pay for a season of your favorite TV show. It was one of my biggest-selling offers of the year. People who watched it said they got a lot out of it and it gave them a deeper insight into what really matters to them as well as who I am and how I operate in the world.
As for re-focusing my brand, well, that wasn't as easy as I'd hoped. I began my online coaching journey about 10 years ago, working with direct sellers almost exclusively. In fact, Direct Sales Classroom and its flagship program, Direct Sales 101, still serve clients from all over the world, even though I don't promote that website much at all. People still find that site via search engines, which speaks to how well it's positioned in the marketplace, despite my lack of attention through the years.
A few years ago, as my audience expanded, I started waffling back and forth, working with all kinds of entrepreneurs. Best selling authors, direct sales leaders, and even people who have chronic health problems have come to me seeking new ways to reach more of their right people using the internet. It made it very difficult to clarify who I help best. As a result, I had clients all over the map, and I couldn't figure out their common denominator in a way that would allow me to speak to them with confidence and clarity... something I'm pretty good at helping other people do.
Oy.
"I ran away in shame and pride, but the echo in my heart keeps telling me to try." - What Love Can Do
So, 2015 was the year I dug in and got market clarity. I researched, tested, tweaked, interviewed, listened, and spent countless hours honing in. Some would say I spent too much time listening, and not enough time "shipping", but I disagree. I debuted the first season of "Creative Freedom", launched two new training programs, an album, and the aforementioned paid web series. Add to that my music videos with Des, and it was a pretty full year - it just wasn't focused on making a lot of money. It was focused on testing the market, validating demand, and really listening to what my audience was telling me.
So often entrepreneurs, especially creatives, throw so much spaghetti on the wall they don't have time to see what's really sticking because they're too busy cleaning up their mess. Chaotic Creatives want everything to show up a certain way. Linear Creatives want results YESTERDAY, and Fusions want it all.
In that pursuit, there's a lot of rushing, a lot of hurry, a lot of "hustle" that, frankly, can kill you, and I wasn't having any of that.
On the physical fitness front, I learned a lot about what triggers me as an emotional eater. I learned that I have cycles of "bad eating choices" that coincide with school breaks. In short, when the kids are home, I stress out and eat more... or at least, I did, until I figured that out. Now, I'm spending more time in my new office (more on that in a bit), and less in the kitchen - which was the hub of activity in our old house. I'm inching my way down the scale, and I'm buying smaller clothes. All good signs in my book.
I also watched "the hustle" nearly ruin four colleagues last year. They all hit major financial milestones, but their health and mental well-being fell apart. One nearly died from a burst appendix because they were "playing through the pain" to complete a project launch. Sure, they hit six figures, but it cost them a lengthy hospital stay in the process. Another pushed so hard to launch her program and hit seven figures (while she was pregnant and due any day), that after it was all over, she spent a week doing nothing but waking up, feeding the baby, and going back to sleep. She admitted to being depressed, unmotivated, and exhausted.
Gee, I can't imagine why.
To be clear: they were not my clients. I don't advocate that kind of approach. The "push. push, push" approach to "fast cash" attacks the heart of what it really takes to build a profitable, sustainable business. Sure you can work like crazy (well, some people can), but then you have no life. I remember the great Jazz vocalist, Wesla Whitfield, once saying that people told her she'd never have a career in Jazz if she stayed in San Francisco. She replied "That's right! I'll have a life!"
This fabulous woman - who was paralyzed by a shooting in her twenties - is a staple in Jazz music, with over 500 songs in her repertoire, dozens of albums to her credit, and a musical legacy that has inspired people all over the country. She's been doing what she loves for decades, despite her circumstances, and making a good living doing it.
That is what profitable and sustainable looks like. Yes, it's glamorous to brag about making millions of dollars in less than half a nanosecond, but that's not the norm. Not for creative entrepreneurs who are in it for the long haul.
And I am.
On the mental fitness front, I challenged myself and read over 25 books this year - and not all of them non fiction! I spent time with Shakespeare's sonnets and whole lot of Dr. Seuss, alongside helping Lewis Howes and Michael Port launch their new books into the world last fall.
In the process, I got inspired to write another book, which is nearing completion. Creative Freedom is a how-to book specifically for Creative Entrepreneurs who want to make good money doing what they love serving an audience that loves them right back. I spent a good part of the year meeting, interviewing, and learning about all kinds of creatives, which led me to develop my Creative Freedom Entrepreneur Type Quiz. Hundreds of people have taken the quiz and it's been a big help to my research for the book.
I also met some really fascinating people (that's me and Tajci Cameron in the photo), reconnected with some old friends and colleagues, and had some challenging conversations about race, gender, diversity, and inclusion. I was really proud of myself for NOT shying away from those conversations, which I might have done in previous years, just to avoid conflict. Being myself, fully and completely, means being willing to speak my truth, in love, with the people that matter most to me.
That wasn't always easy this year.
Which brings me to the hardest subject of the recap. The people that matter most to me. As I mentioned in my last post, 2015 was a long slog at figuring out what really matters. What's staying, what's going, and all that jazz. We talked early in the year about relocating to Nashville, but that didn't happen. Lots of emotional baggage and childhood trauma reared its head. Tempers flared. Things were said. We survived it. The upshot was my need for freedom. To be mobile, agile, and able to travel. I need people. My husband doesn't. He's content to live like a hermit. I am not. So we bought a house (which actually saved us a good deal of money every month),and upgraded my car.
Then, I asked my husband for a divorce.
I don't say that glibly. There's no joy in that sentence. It's taken years to make this decision, and I didn't make it lightly. I truly love my husband and want nothing but the best for him. Even after 12 years together (10 as a married couple), our wants and needs are still in opposition to one another, and that's painful for both of us. If one of us is happy, the other is frustrated or feeling anxious, which doesn't make it easy to be married to each other. I want him to be truly happy, in a meaningful relationship with someone that is in alignment with what he wants and needs. I want that for myself, too. I believe we'll both have happier, more enjoyable lives if we're not married to each other.
"My wounds are deep, I can't deny. And the salty rivers flow down my face 'til they run dry." - What Love Can Do
So while I intended to take only a month off for the move last fall, it turned into a season-long hiatus because of depression, fear, and other emotional baggage that I had to work through to come clean in my relationship with my husband. There's no need for commentary, and we're still in the early stages of sorting this through. We're committed to doing this our way as much as possible - focused on doing right by our son, giving him the best possible environment in which to thrive, with no mud-slinging, fighting, or passive-aggressive behavior. We're still in the same house. We're still co-parenting, and for now, there are no plans to change that. I'm sure that will evolve as time moves on, but for now, that's where we're at and it works for us.
The new album is out in the world and has already outperformed my last two albums combined. That was a huge leap of faith for me. I can't tell you how many people (friends and family alike) told me that it was a bad idea to do an album of pop-infused jazz and blues tunes. Nobody will buy it. Nobody will listen to a jazz version of Paula Abdul's "Straight Up" or Bon Jovi's "Bad Medicine" - well, maybe once, but who's going to listen to it over and over again?
Apparently at least three times as many people as bought my last two albums combined.
I can start breathing again.
"I heard a whisper on the wind and an echo in my heart tryin' to tell me to begin." - What Love Can Do
I put a lot of time and effort into this album. After spending several years working myself to the middle of 300 songs, and bringing Des on board as a permanent fixture last year, it was time to put the album to bed and get it out into the world. But it didn't exactly go as planned.
All kinds of things tried to thwart our progress. I got sick several times and ended up not being able to record the vocals until after we completed the move. We kept pushing back the launch date until, finally, I bumped it to 2016, just to be sure I could get the project done.
After getting sick a few more times during and after the move, I recognized the tell-tale signs of an upper-limit problem. So I focused on extreme self care for the remainder of the year, just so I could finish the album.
Mission accomplished.
I expect 2016 will be more of the same. I just turned 41, and women keep telling me that your 40's are the best years of your life, So I'm going to try and hold them to it. I've got new tools and support options launching this year, and I'm getting closer and closer to the core of ME.
My goal this year is to come to terms with my divorce with grace and compassion (for both of us). In the process, I've still got work to do: a summer concert tour, a new group coaching program for creative entrepreneurs, and of course, the launch of Creative Freedom - the book and the second season of my web show. Oh, and I'll be studying acting with Kevin Spacey this Spring, booya!
Those are just the tip of what appears to be an exciting iceberg for 2016.
Let's pray we don't run aground, okay?
"Once again your love is calling with the words, so gentle, and so clear." - What Love Can Do
It's about stepping up, stepping out, and shining my light for all my world (or at least my right audience) to see. It's scary, but it's also pretty freaking awesome. I already have a great story to share (but I'll save it for the next blog post). It takes a certain level of clarity, confidence, and courage to show up every day as yourself - warts, sparkles, and all - without letting the world deter you. The good news is, you already know how, because it's born in you. You were made to be you. And I was made to be me. And that's exactly what the world needs. Judy Garland said it's better to be a first rate version of yourself than a second rater version of someone else.
That is what I'm up to in 2016.
It's a work I began in earnest last year: peeling off the layers of dust and debris, practicing showing up as me - even if people might find the real me a bit to their disliking. As luck would have it, the more me I shared, the better my friendships became - even if we didn't always see eye to eye. Relationships got real. People drew nearer, and they didn't run screaming for the hills as I feared they would.
That's the power of love - loving yourself and putting as much time and energy there as you do any of your other relationships. For decades, I didn't. I put everyone else before me. I even taught this stuff, for pity's sake, but we often teach what we most need to learn. Turning and returning to a place of love and loving service (to myself and others), that is what I choose to radiate in 2016.
What about you?
[Note: this is the condensed version of my annual year in review. A more in-depth piece is coming next week, but since today is a special day, I thought this was timely and appropriate.]
I "broke" my first resolution ON New Year's Day. I don't tend to take them too seriously, but since it's a cultural tradition, I try my hand at considering waht would really serve me during the new year. One of those things is to eliminate gluten from my diet completely (long story).
But as we rang in the new year, I was happily munching on a cookie or something.
2016 is already reminding me that it is about progress, not perfection.
Since today is my birthday, and it's only a few days after the new year, it's always a great opportunity for some personal reflection. I was ready to shed my skin and embrace more of my true self in 2015. I was turning 40, and dammit, I was gonna be myself whether people liked it or not.
What I forgot was that, in order to shed skin, there's a lot of writhing and friction before you emerge victorious with more wiggle room. I wasn't ready for all the writhing, all the friction, and all the other things, people, etc. that I had to let go of that we're part of my "old skin". As a result, 2015, though punctuated by some pretty awesome experiences (like finishing my album (on sale now!), getting a car, meeting new friends, and reconnecting with some old friends), was mostly a long slog at figuring out what gets to stay and what will go when the shedding is complete.
I don't regret the work, and I am certainly ready for more peace and ease this year. 2015 was hard and painful for me, but I am choosing to see the friction and writhing as a necessary step to the beautiful re-emergence that 2016 promises to hold.
This year, however, I am practicing more compassion with myself. Instead of expecting that things "should have already happened by now" I am setting the intention to just be where I am as much as possible and own the truth of my life and work. It is what I've chosen to make it, for better or worse. There will always be someone who doesn't get it, doesn't like it, or doesn't care. I am not living and working for them. I am living and working for me... and the people who love and need me most are the ones who don't want a watered down, bastardized version of me. They need me to be 100% Lisa.
So that is my real New Year Resolution: to show up as honestly and authentically as I can in each moment - without masks, without fakery, warts and all (and sparkles, too!). I can't promise it will always be pretty, but I will do my best to always be real.
Reality is messy sometimes. It's how we clean up the mess that shows our true nature. (tweet this)
In my book, The Secret Watch, I wrote that "the best gift you can give is time and attention" - and that's all I want for my birthday. Hop over to iTunes (or your preferred music outlet) and give my new album a listen. If you like it, rate it, share it - heck, even buy a copy or two). Let the world know about the precious people who helped make this project possible. At last count something like 30 people helped bring this project to life in one way or another, and it wouldn't have happened without each and every one of them. And BECAUSE I had so much help, this album is leaps and bounds beyond the quality of my last two projects. I'm just So humbled and grateful for the work that everyone put into making #TheFineLine such a world-class project.
That's my birthday wish for me. Now, my wish for you:
May you have an exceptional year filled with all the wealth, faith, truth, beauty, love, justice, and peace you can handle.
Happy New Year. #BringItOn2016
As a recovering overachiever, I've learned a thing or two about spinning plates. In fact, some might call me a pro. I can't count the number of times I've heard someone say:
"Damn, Lisa! How do you manage to get so much done?"
"Lisa, you are EVERYWHERE! How do you do it?"
"You seem like you've got a lot going on, Lisa. How do you manage it all?"
The truth is, my days are fairly light. I may have an appointment or two on a given day, but I spend a lot of time home alone, focused on doing the work. Whether that's practicing piano, scripting or filming a new video, or taking my kids to the doctor, I've created crystal clear priorities that keep me on track.
For all the stuff I am doing, I still say "no" to a lot of things that don't mesh with my priorities.
And yet, I'm not perfect. I still manage to say "yes" to enough activities that can distract me and take me off course from time to time.
What I've learned in my years as an entrepreneur and coach is that it's easy to get distracted from your priorities (REALLY EASY). Add to that the fact that very few people will volunteer to hold you accountable to your priorities, and you've got a recipe for overwhelm.
So how do you mitigate overwhelm and keep your business on track? Here are 5 tips to help you create a focus and stick with it throughout the year.
1. Pre-plan your priorities. In my Dreamblazing program, we set your objectives for the next 12 months, and then we prioritize them. By deciding your priorities in advance, you've got a filter you can pass every opportunity through for the coming months. By pre-planning your priorities in this way, you've got a much better chance at staying on task and not getting sidetracked by pop-up "emergencies" or "special opportunities" that don't support your priorities. For example, one year, my top priority wasn't in my business - it was to build a healthier relationship with my son. When I had the opportunity to speak at an event that conflicted with a commitment I'd made with him, I had to say no to that opportunity. Did I miss out? Not based on my priorities. I held firm to what was most important for me at that time. It would have been easy to re-prioritize in the moment - especially if we'd needed the money. But I'd made a decision months earlier to focus on quality time with my son. That decision made saying "no" easier.
Pre-planning your priorities isn't just an annual thing. I use The PEACE System to clarify my priorities on a daily basis. By making sure my top priorities are on my radar each day, I accomplish more of what matters in less time, because I'm not distracted as often.
2. Guard your self-care time. This has been the most valuable lesson of my business career. When lots of tasks, challenges, and opportunities are coming down the pike at the same time, it's easy to neglect your personal time. Everybody wants a piece of you. Everybody wants to pick your brain, get a little of your time, and it all adds up. Next thing you know, it's been days since you've had a shower, and you can't remember when you had any white space in your day.
Not that I speak from experience, or anything.
When I was working as an Admin in the automotive industry, I routinely managed the calendars of six (yep, SIX) executives. I was their sole support person, which meant juggling the needs and priorities of five high-powered, driven, single-minded guys - and one woman who was probably the most driven of them all. Multitasking was my specialty. But self-care was not. I remember the day I came to work in a pair of hose I'd rinsed out and blow-dried that morning because I'd put in so many hours at work I'd forgotten to do my laundry.
Self care is making sure you've got time to see to your own needs. It isn't always about going to the spa and getting a massage - though that's nice, too. It's about white space in your day. The auto industry was filled with people who'd wolf down lunch in 5 minutes - never leaving their desk because of an all-day conference call. I watched these execs turn their offices into sleeping quarters, changing rooms, and occasionally a bathroom (don't ask).
That's what a lack of self-care looks like. I've spend the last 10 years shifting away from that, creating more "white space" in my life so that when a true emergency crops up (like a phone call from my kid's school, asking me to come get him), it's not a Herculean task to rearrange my day. A quick call or an email and I've got things handled.
3. Right-size your expectations. There's a running joke that if you give a man a piece of paper and a list of things to do, he'll use as little of the paper as possible, whereas a woman will fill up that to-do list, turn the page over, and keep on writing. It's easy to find things to do, things that need our attention, and that's where overwhelm starts the slow creep. I don't care who you are, without a small army, it's virtually impossible to clean an entire house, prepare three meals from scratch for a family of four, do all the dishes, take all the kids to all their appointments, balance the P&L statement, create your blog content, do three interviews, create four web pages, host a webinar, make seven sales calls, get in an hour of exercise, take a nap, and be bright eyed and bushy tailed, showered and shaved for your evening out with friends. And if you have a chronic illness or need to take care of ailing loved ones, you have to expect even less of yourself.
It doesn't make you a bad business person. It means you're human! Something has to give. Maybe you get a support team, call in reinforcements, or just postpone some happenings for another day. As much as you might like to believe it, NO ONE can do it all (so quit trying!).
Right-sizing your expectations means getting more of the right things done. (tweet this)
Coming down off a multi-tasking high in the auto industry, I had to re-assess what I was truly capable of on a given day. I knew I wanted more white space, more peace and ease, but I was also used to getting a lot done in a day. At first, my to-do lists were incredibly long. Then I let the pendulum swing the other way: no more than one appointment per day. Over time, I managed to find a "groove" that works for me: most days are appointment free, with two days a week dedicated to handling scheduled appointments (coaching calls, doctor visits, etc.) This gives me plenty of white space to stay in creative flow, while also giving me plenty of energy to handle the scheduled appointments during one or two days of the week (and lots of energetic "recovery time" thereafter).
4. Get an accountability partner. My pal Winnie has been my stalwart business buddy for over two years now. We connect via skype almost every week, and together we've launched best-selling books, grown new business divisions, re-branded, and so much more. There's no way I could have stayed the course over the past two years without her willingness to show up and hold me accountable for the priorities I've set for myself. We don't nag each other. We know that priorities change, and we go with that flow. But we're also willing to call B.S. on each other when we're dragging our heels on a project to which we've committed.
An accountability partner provides a powerful level of support & encouragement on a frequent basis. Because you're working together, there's an added benefit that you're going to learn from each other. I count Winnie as one of my best friends - not just because she knows where all the bodies are buried! It takes a certain kind of person to be willing to put up with me, call me on my crap, and still be willing to cheer me on and celebrate my successes. And I get the honor of doing the same for her.
5. Make friends with "no". Get used to saying (and hearing) no a lot more often. When you ask for help, sometimes the answer will be no. Keep asking. It's not always because you don't want to say yes. Sometimes you need to say no because it's not in alignment with your priorities. That's wonderful. Oh, and don't take it personally when someone else tells you no.
I remember coming home from a week-long workshop a while ago. Upon my return, one of my clients called to "fire" me. I was SO happy for them that it kind of threw them off guard. They didn't need me anymore, and while I knew it, they couldn't imagine a different path than they one they'd envisioned with me on it. I had even suggested they replace me with an employee at much less cost, but it wasn't happening... until I left for the week.
That time away gave them clarity to see new possibilities and alternatives that would better suit them and their bottom line. When I picked up the phone and heard "we've decided not to renew your contract," all I could say was "HOORAY! THAT'S AWESOME!" It totally threw my client for a loop because it wasn't the answer they were expecting. I reminded my client that my sole purpose was to help them get profitable and find the path that worked for them. They were finally taking my advice which meant a more profitable direction for their company. Keeping me on wouldn't be in alignment with their best interests, nor mine. So, like Nanny McPhee, it was time for me to go.
Bonus tip: Be forgiving with yourself. In all my years of prioritizing and planning, I still get it wrong from time to time. Nobody's perfect. Even the best laid plans change. Pick a course and stick with it to the best of your abilities, but if something happens that requires a redirect (like your kid going to jail), go with it. When I was a financial advisor, we were taught that "life happens every six months." So rather than rail against it, we made a plan for it. I still do. My Dreamblazing program has built-in check-ins every quarter, to ensure that the priorities you've set are still the right ones for you.
Let me hear from ya! What's been keeping you in overwhelm lately? How do you manage to get more of the right things done? Share your comments below and let's be a rising tide for the entire community.
It's report card time around here. My youngest is struggling in gym class. Sadly, I've seen it before with his older brother.
"Won't even attempt new activities," the report card reads.
So hubby and I sat down with our 8 year old to find out what's going on.
"I can't do it." He said. "I'm not good at it."
It can be hard to try something new. And even harder to be GOOD at it - especially when you've never done it before. That doesn't mean you can't do it.
Try telling that to an 8 year old... oh wait, we did!
...what you really mean is that you've never done it well before.
Like when you say you can't sing. Yes. you can. Anyone with a functional voice box can sing. Even my husband, who can't carry a tune in a lead-lined bucket can sing SOME songs. You just have to find the right ones. Maybe you aren't Pavarotti, but even Madonna doesn't sound like Madonna (thanks, autotune).
So often we use the words "I can't" as code for "I'm not good enough" or "I don't know how." As we talked with our kid, it became apparent this was a case of being afraid to look foolish or be wrong in public. It was also a case of not being willing to ask for help to learn how to do something (or do it better).
Curse the English language!
We have gotten used to so much linguistic short hand, that we're actually programming our brains to believe something isn't possible, when, in actuality, it is. As entrepreneurs, we need to reclaim our truth and speak it without shorthand.
"I don't feel comfortable doing this, because I'm not as good as I would like to be."
"I don't know how to do it (or do it well). Can you help me?"
I've shortened my learning curve immensely in life and business by asking for help, yet, I'm the same person that still struggles with asking for help with things I think I "should" know already.
"The Shoulds" are a comfortable state of paralysis that most of us visit from time to time. It goes like this:
"I should really work out more." But you don't.
"I should really look for a new job." But you don't.
"My mother in law says I should spend more time reading to my kids." But you don't.
"My clients think I should offer evening appointments." But you don't.
And my all-time favorite: "I should already know this by now." But you don't.
In short, "The Shoulds" are a laundry list of to-do's that you have yet to accomplish - either because you don't really want to do them, or because you haven't yet figured out HOW to do them. It's a limbo-land that keeps you from taking action, and only diminishes our value as humans an entrepreneurs.
It's normal. we all go there from time to time. The trick is to keep our visits short. Otherwise, we're creating unrealistic expectations of ourselves. When we have an expectation of our capabilities that doesn't match our reality, two things happen:
Rather than root out the cause (living in "The Shoulds"), we keep beating ourselves up - over and over - until something happens. And that "something" isn't always helpful. If we're lucky, we've got a support system to help us see we're in "The Shoulds" and can point it out to us. But even that's not going to help you if you keep beating yourself up saying "Dangit! I knew I was in The Shoulds! I keep doing that! Gah!"
What are those "beliefs" that are conditioning you to stay paralyzed? How are they holding you back? What would happen if you looked at it as if the opposite was true?
What if you shouldn't already know this by now?
What if you shouldn't offer evening appointments? What if you need to find clients who prefer your current schedule?
That's the other type of "can't" we're talking about: when something really isn't possible within the understanding of human experience at this moment.
1,000 years ago, man couldn't fly or use the Internet. They hadn't been invented yet! So to tell someone to hop online and check your email would probably get you blank stares. "I can't" is an appropriate response in that case.
But the more accurate response for most anything today is "I don't know how yet."
Keep all your priorities in alignment while growing your business?
"I don't know how yet."
Make six, seven, or eight, figures (as PROFIT, not just income).
"I don't know how yet."
You get the idea.
Yes, being willing to acknowledge that you don't already know everything means there's a slight possibility that you'll be a target for ridicule. But that's rare. More often,what happens by saying "I don't know how yet" is that you open doors to new learning, new experiences, new connections, colleagues, friends - and yes, clients - by being willing to learn how.
That was the lesson my 8 year old had to learn. That yes, sometimes the mean kids will make fun of how he throws the dodge ball, but by asking for help, he'll get better at throwing the dodge ball and be able to bean the mean kids out during the game.
Perhaps that's not the best way to illustrate that lesson, but I think you understand my point. Sometimes, we need to "bean" the nay-sayers in our lives, and the only way to do that effectively is to get really good at what they're telling us we can't do.
Even if we are our own nay-sayer. Sometimes I need a good beaning, myself (just ask my husband!).
Where are you saying "can't" when you're really living in "The Shoulds? What can you do today to get clarity around a particular "should" and either decide to take action or decide to let it go? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
If you're ready to get help with moving out of "The Shoulds" consider a Next Steps session to help you get some clarity.
Back in November, as I do every year, I made my book "The Secret Watch" available for a limited time at a special price. The first year, I just wanted to see how many people I could share it with, so I said I'd do a back flip if 1000 people would download it on kindle. We gave away over 1000 copies of the book, which prompted my first lesson in doing a back flip (more of a back "flop" really, but I digress). This past November, I wanted to see if we could hit best-seller status on Amazon.
I worked with Winnie Anderson, a best-selling author and the Sherlock Holmes of business development, who has also been my accountability partner now for more than 2 years. Since most everyone I knew already had a copy of the book, I wasn't holding my breath. Winnie suggested we do a 99 cent sale anyway, just to see what would happen.
I nearly lost my mind when "The Secret Watch" hit MULTIPLE best-seller lists in both the US and the UK. Two continents! Color me humbled and proud.
Yes. Even a coach needs coaching, mentoring, and support from time to time!
So when my friend and client, Pam Belding, mentioned that she might want to re-launch her book, well, it was a no-brainer to recommend Winnie.
Pam's book, You're The Boat, was inspired by her own emotional roller coaster. At one point a few years ago, her husband's job sent the family to Brazil for a year, which meant packing up the entire family, homeschooling their son, and navigating a foreign country... not to mention the regular day-to-day activities of a wife and mom.
In an overwhelming state of frustration, Pam asked "no one in particular" for guidance, and the image of the boat was born.
Her book trailer describes it better than I can:
If you're ready to end the overwhelm, and chart a course for yourself that you actually look forward to living, I highly recommend you register for Pam's teleclass this Friday. You'll hear Winnie interview Pam about the different "systems" of the boat analogy, and how you can implement them in your own life. Plus, she's sharing some of the behind-the scenes details about how she created her book, lessons learned, and other great stuff. You'll also get the scoop on how you can get your own Kindle copy for less than a dollar.
Can we make her book a best-seller on two continents, also?
Pam's boat analogy has only improved my life. And I don't just say that because Pam was a client. She's also become a good friend and part of the "crew" of my boat. It's a quick, informative read that will have you seeing your world in a new way, and help you relate to the world with more meaning and joy. I have no doubt that after Friday, Pam will be able to add "best selling author" to her title.
Creating a best-selling book is as much about the marketing as it is about the book itself. Yes, you need to be a skilled writer, but you also need to "dig your well before you're thirsty" and become a skilled connector, too. It's about sharing your story with your fans as well as reaching out to friends and colleagues who will help spread the word about the Great Work you're putting out into the world. That's what Pam and Winnie asked of me, and I was more than happy to say yes. This book is a perfect fit for my audience - people who are trying to forge their own path to the Noble Empire and inspired life of their dreams.
Life isn't like Ray Kinsella in "Field of Dreams" - you know... "If you build it, he will come."
As creative entrepreneurs, we can't just put something out into the world and trust that the right people will find it. As nice as that would be, it just doesn't work that way. Heck, even Ray had a LOT of work to do to let people know about his field and save his farm from bankruptcy.
With confidence in our work and courage in our hearts we can stand in the truth of who we are.
(Click to tweet)
With clarity, confidence, and courage, we can ask for the help we need, and share our Great Work with the world in alignment with who we are and what we're about in the world. I've experienced first-hand the insights of both Winnie and Pam. If they have their fingerprint on a project, I want to be involved. Sharing this event with you was the best way I knew to do just that. I hope you'll join us!
FTC NOTICE: FYI, the Federal Trade Commission requires that I inform you the only compensation I get for sharing this story with you are the few pennies Amazon pays me when you click a link in this post and make a purchase there. If you'd rather deny me my "mad money", just visit Pam's site and make your purchase there. It's a touching and inspiring book!
She was sprawled out on the sidewalk, screaming bloody murder. The bike - a garage sale special (meaning there was no padding on the all-metal seat) - was still somehow attached to her.
She and I lived close to each other, and were about the same age, but I had no real interest in bikes when I was six. I wanted her to play dolls with me, but no. She was a tomboy through and through. And she really wanted to learn how to ride a bike.
Her parents bought her this scrap metal bike with what little money they had, took it home, cleaned it up with a bit of red spray paint, and after letting it dry, gave it to her.
She wasted no time. She hopped on (no training wheels), and took off down the neighborhood. I lived at the end of the street, so most of the kids used our house as the turnaround. I waited for her there.
She was no stranger to bikes. Most of the neighborhood kids had them and let her ride when parents weren't looking. Some with training wheels, some without. When this little girl climbed on her very own bike, she was a natural.
Until...
Still straddling the metal heap of a bicycle, but flat on her back, the girl was screaming bloody murder. Apparently, she hit a sidewalk bump where the concrete was broken up and the metal seat jammed her... in the... well, you know.
She lost control, the bike fell over, and she was sort of tangled up in it.
So much screaming. So much crying. I kept looking for blood, but didn't see any. Maybe she broke her leg or something. I thought for sure her folks were going to end up taking her to the hospital. Even her brother - who normally ignored his baby sister - set out to figure out if she was okay... or at least get the kid to stop crying and screaming.
Once they calmed her down, they realized that beyond the need for a padded seat, the only thing that was really bruised was her pride. So her father, in all his infinite wisdom, encouraged her to "stop crying like a baby and get back on the damn bike."
The little girl obediently climbed back on - after setting the bike back up and giving it a firm kick to show it who was boss. This time, instead of riding up and down the street, she practiced in my gravel driveway. She practiced turning, braking, and navigating the bike on "a bumpy road" as she called it. She even managed to teach herself to ride "standing up" so that the seat didn't get the best of her again.
She fell a few more times (gravel wipeouts - OUCH!), but under the watchful eye of her parents, she managed to get back up without shedding a single tear.
By dinnertime, she was racing one of the neighbor kids, giggling and playing as if she was a cycling pro.
Eat your heart out, Lance Armstrong!
A colleague of mine once shared a similar equation with me. She was using it to talk about the power of irresistible presence, and how, when these three elements are combined, you are more able to show up in a magnetic and authentic way.
The more I looked at her equation, the more truth I saw.
Success in anything can ONLY come when we have these three elements in proper measure. Without all three, you'll fall short in some way. Don't believe me? Let's look and see:
One of the most important things I've ever done for myself was develop The PEACE System. It helps me have crystal clarity on my priorities for any given day. Coupled with my Dreamblazing program, I've created my perfect solution to knowing exactly what matters most in any given moment. I have total CLARITY on what to do, and why.
After she fell, that little girl had clarity that her bike had a few issues, and that she needed more practice riding with it before she took it out onto the broken sidewalks of our ghetto neighborhood.
But clarity alone only helps you see the bicycle. It doesn't give you insight into how to actually ride it. Clarity says "I need to learn how to ride the bike." Confidence says "This is how one rides a bike."
Big difference.
You know what that means right? No? Here's the Urban Dictionary definition. CONFIDENCE comes from this space of knowing. When you've got clarity, you can make some decisions about what to do, and what not to do. You can even help other people make decisions based on what you know. As a coach, I am lucky enough to work with clients that need to make changes in their lives and business, but if all I did was spout off my knowledge, or tell them what to do, I'd be nothing more than a "sexual intellectual" that no one wants to work with. What's more, if I left my clients in that space, they'd never make any forward progress.
Confidence is the by-product of practice. Practice can only happen in a safe space. Like learning to ride a bike, there's always a fear of falling down, but training wheels and a steady hand on the back of the seat can make all the difference between riding down the street and never getting on the bike in the first place.
Confidence is built when the action you take is positively reinforced. When that little girl got back up on the bike, her parents stood by (safe space) and encouraged her progress. When her progress was reinforced, it gave her the confidence to know that she could ride this bike.
That little girl knew she could ride a bike - she'd done it before. She just needed to figure out how to handle the particular quirks of this bike. She quickly realized the seat would be an issue, so she needed to learn how to ride standing up. That would pretty much solve her "cushion" problem.
But knowing is only half the battle (GI Joe!)... or in this case a third of the battle. Because all the clarity & confidence in the world won't help you if you don't have the courage to do something with what you know.
For most people, if you've got courage, you've got confidence. COURAGE is the active piece to the "knowing" of Confidence. But sadly, people act with "courageous stupidity" all the time. You hear stories about someone accidentally setting their house on fire because they tried to kill a spider with a torch. Crazed drivers struck by road rage who speed up as someone tries to pass them - only to find out that person was a cop.
We all have something we're fighting for, something we believe in, something that in our bones we know to be true (that we'll defend to the bitter end). But without clarity (of what an appropriate response would be, for example), our courageous acts come off just plain arrogant or stupid.
This little girl could have thrown the bike to the ground in disgust and refused to ride it. After all, she "knew" she could ride a bike, and this one wasn't behaving properly. But because she also had clarity that this was the only bike her parents could afford, if she really wanted her very own bike to ride, she'd have to act differently.
Clarity says "I need to learn how to ride the bike." Confidence says "This is how one rides a bike." Courage says "This is me, riding this damn bike."
I'm leading a free workshop on Saturday March 14, 2015 to help you have more clarity, confidence, and courage in your life and business. If you're ready to learn how to create your own safe space to develop confidence and courage in your life and work, I hope you'll join me for this special, one-time-0nly workshop. You can learn more and register here. I'll also be sharing more about my Creative Freedom Apprenticeship and telling you how you could earn a scholarship to attend at no cost to you.
Anyone can be a hero for a day.
An above-and-beyond gesture. An extra dose of good-will. Being in the right place at the right time.
Anyone can have a day like that, do something awesome, and be a hero for a day or two.
True heroes walk the walk, even when it's difficult. They do the right thing when there's NOT a profit to be made. Sometimes, they do the right thing when the wrong thing appears to be far more profitable in the moment.
They're concerned about eternity, not about right now.
When I say "eternity," I'm not necessarily talking "heaven or hell", religion, or anything of that sort.
I'm talking about being able to wake up each morning, look yourself in the eye, and know that you've made the most of yesterday, with a commitment to doing your darnedest to make today even better.
Action heroes get banged up, scratched and dented, and take a few beatings from time to time. They get a little dirty, bloodied up, and still they rise, because they know it's not about the short-term gain, it's about the end game.
Who's going to be at your funeral? What are they going to say about you? How will you be remembered? Will you be remembered at all?
Sarah Robinson once wrote about what I call the "Hero of Now," the hero of right this moment. The flash in the pan that looks good on paper, seems to be on a hot streak, or appears to have some of the success you desire. This "flash in the pan" can be pretty easy on the eyes. In fact, sometimes we get mesmerized and then we're stunned when that flash turns out to be of little substance, or simply doesn't have the long-term value that makes them a true hero.
I've been there at least eleventy-jillion times in my own life and career (give or take a few jillion). You see someone that's doing their thing and it's hard NOT to notice. In fact, our brains are hard-wired to pay attention to something in which we're interested. The Reticular Activating System (RAS) in your brain is what causes you to notice every silver Jeep Liberty on the road after you decide that's the kind of car you want to buy next... or ignore the voice of every other screaming kid at the McDonald's playland except yours.
Here's an excerpt from what Sarah noted:
I thought part of a leader’s job was to search for unnoticed diamonds in the rough and start to polish them. I thought true leaders never, ever forgot that they were once unnoticed and that someone reached out to help them become who they are.
Apparently I was wrong.
When I see “leaders” huddled together in a self-congratulatory group (I’ve even heard of an event where the leaders sit in a roped off area, inaccessible to the “common” attendees), it makes me question any aspiration I might have to someday be among them.
I know not all experts and leaders are like this and that gives me the hope I need to keep going.
Speaking as the kid in high school that was the music geek with TWO 6th hour classes my senior year, I know the uncool factor, and wore it well for a while.
Just like in high school, those would-be heroes are quite often real-life zeros once the playing field is leveled.
I can't tell you how many kids from my past - that thought I was uncool, unworthy, un____, now approach me with some kind of "wow! Look at you!" amazement.
They know I've "arrived" in a way they never did. But I'm still striving, and they're stuck wearing the blue apron at the local big box store.
So too are many of those internet flashes in the pan that were once riding high now facing their own issues: health issues, family troubles, bankruptcies, divorces, lawsuits, and other not so pretty consequences of doing their thing for momentary success, instead of building for the long term.
People talk. Your audience sees you even if they don't always say so. Today's hero, if they continue to demonstrate heroic qualities, will continue to be a hero decades from now. If today's hero runs off at the mouth and ignores the music geeks too often, they end up fat, balding, and with no prospects...
Not that I speak from experience or anything (hee hee).
Think about music: Billy Joel is a legend. Starland Vocal Band? Not so much. Their one hit, "Afternoon Delight," was the biggest-selling single of 1976. They even won a Grammy, but by 1981, they had called it quits.
Do you want to be a one-hit wonder or a lifetime achievement award winner? Both of them may win a Grammy, but who will be remembered for their enduring contribution?
It's hard to ignore a flash in the pan... until the Hope Diamond comes along. (Tweet This)
When you look at your business, your life, are you building something that lasts? Are you a true hero to the folks you serve, the colleagues that seek you out? Are you "The Hope Diamond" of your industry, or just another flash in the pan?
Sometimes it's hard to know for sure. We've all watched someone skyrocket to the top of their industry, stay there for a few years, and then get "shot down" by some kind of incident, controversy, or some other bad PR issue.
They stand the test of time - despite their shortcomings. True business heroes are around for decades or centuries, not months or years. True business heroes continue to learn and grow, develop their network, and rarely rest on their laurels.
True heroes adapt, are agile, and realize that getting beat up is part of standing up for what's right. Just because a company is making billions today doesn't mean it has the wherewithal to be in a future edition of "Built to Last". There are plenty of companies (and people) that started with a future just as bright as Facebook, and ended up extinct.
What makes a true hero? Who are your heroes in life and business? Is there a secret ingredient? I'm guessing you have some thoughts about it. Share them in the comments, and let's start a conversation!
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: This article originally appeared one of my old blogs in March, 2011. I revised it for re-publication here, since I felt it deserved a little resurrection.]
"That's impossible!"
I can't count the number of times I've heard that phrase in my life. It's usually preceded by "You can't do that!", or followed by "Why don't you try something else?"
Meh.
I sometimes think that when God gave me the choice to be born, I told him to give me the absolute hardest path to success - just so I could prove to people it could be done.
Then again, I also used to dream of being a mermaid.
I have, however, always been a bit of an overachiever. I'm the kind of person that says "Oh yeah? WATCH me!" when someone says "you can't..." I've taken trips, been in programs, raised kids, and generally lived my life unconventionally.
It's only been recently that I've learned the art of quitting. I was always the person that flatly refused to give up. I worked a job where my paycheck bounced - twice -before I took the hint that I should probably move on. I've gotten better at seeing the signals that tell me it's time to move on. On the whole, though, I'm still a tenacious, relentless being. I don't quit just because something's hard.
In my years of experience, I've managed to see my way through a lot of "really hard" stuff. I experienced the joy of living on welfare, abuse, racism, and more - all before I graduated high school (with honors, thank you very much). I grew up in Flint, Michigan, the most dangerous city in America, for heaven's sake! I think that automatically earns me some kind of combat medal.
I left school and forged my own path. Then I got pregnant and did the single mom thing for a while. My 20's had their share of... well, me being in my 20's!
Then, I got married to a man who's had to deal with his own emotional baggage. I mothered my eldest through a lot of troubled times. My youngest was involved in his babysitter's conviction for child sexual misconduct. I built a company, closed it, and laid off my one employee. And that's just the last 10 years of my life!
Saying all this isn't about shock value. It's not even about bragging. Yeah, I've been through some tough stuff, but so have many other people I know and love.
This is really about staying power. Grit. Stick-to-it-iveness, and being willing to gut it out when things get really really HARD.
Because "impossible" isn't the same as "really hard."
Impossible, as originally defined, means "not able to occur, exist, or be done." If it's impossible, it's simply not possible.
But Napoleon Hill said "Anything the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can be achieved."
Now, good old Mr. Hill didn't say it would be easy. He just said it can be done. It's possible.
It's possible to fly, to plumb the depths of the sea, use touch fasteners to "tie" shoes, and chat with friends in other countries in real time. If you wanted to do any of those things 200 years ago, it would have seemed impossible. But the truth is, it would have been really REALLY hard... especially if you tried to do it all by yourself.
But someone eventually developed materials that made submarines and airplanes possible, "moving pictures" a reality, and velcro a staple in my kid's shoe closet. All the raw materials existed 200 years ago, but they hadn't been put together yet. It took a series of chemists starting in the late 1700's and early 1800's to figure out the polymers that would eventually give us Velcro in the 1950's.
It takes a village, yo.
When I was 21, and pregnant (more…)
I'm not one for social commentary or deep philosophical discussions, so consider this the "light version" of any meaningful conversation about the nexus of technology and society. This isn't a commentary about technology, though. It's more about what's unwittingly happened to people as we've become more "connected" to the world.
The Industrial Age gave us cookie-cutter, assembly line techniques for being efficient and crafting a uniformly effective offering.
That's awesome in a survival-based world, where cranking out quality stuff in quantity is important.
But that's not the world we live in anymore. On the whole, we are wealthier and healthier than we've ever been as human beings. Yes. there are exceptions to the rule, but most of those folks aren't reading this anyway, so it doesn't apply to them.
This applies to you. You, the person that's been cramming yourself into the same cookie-cutter mold for decades (or railing against it), because that's all there was.
I've been pretty lucky to "grow up" in the digital age. I'm technically not a Millenial, but I'm on the cusp. I built one of the first e-commerce websites back when animated gifts were all the rage (the first time), and video wasn't even a glimmer in the Internet's eye.
In that time, there've been lots of "game changers" - which is almost silly to say. The advent of the Internet is like watching an infant grow into a toddler and then a teen - everything is new, thus everything is a "game changer". But the one commonality I've witnessed over the last 20 years is the growing ease with which people can access, use, and contribute to this technology - and how this new-found ease impacts their work.
10 years ago, the idea of watching your favorite TV show or a feature-length film on your stylish CaseFace phone was insane. Now, mobile and "third screen" viewing has eclipsed television, and will likely continue to do for the foreseeable future. The ability to take your media with you has relegated newsprint to the birdcage, and magazines I loved reading as a kid have gotten thinner and more ad-laden.
Less content, more commercials. A sure-fire end to most anything.
One look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs will show you that we've done a great job (on the whole) of getting those basic needs met. As I said before, we're wealthier and healthier than we've ever been in human history.
Here's another great example from Chip Conley, which condenses the pyramid into three layers (particularly the "employee" pyramid, which he's condensed to "money", "recognition", and "meaning").
Maslow's theory is that we work our way up the pyramid, once we've assured ourselves that our more basic needs are met. Once we've handled the basics like, food, shelter, clothing, saftey, and a paycheck, we can concern ourselves with "higher" issues like love, a sense of belonging, or recognition. Ultimately, once those things are handled, we can search for "self-actualization" or the meaning of life, if you will.
Here's the problem in a nutshell. We've been pushed up the pyramid, whether we like it or not. Computers have "connected" us, and made things incredibly easy, yet so many of us weren't ready for the shift.
Now, building a career can happen remotely. For my last job, I applied, interviewed, and was hired digitally. I worked from my Michigan home, and the company was thousands of miles away on the west coast. All my contact and interaction was digital: email, skype, webcam. No handshakes, no eye contact, just pixels.
Love and belonging (at least on some level) are just a facebook post away. When I'm feeling blue, I can post a simple "Hugs please" on Facebook, and my friends come out of the woodwork to encourage me. I never got that kind of instant gratification & encouragement before the Internet! So work, networking, and even relationships have gotten more efficient, thanks to technology.
We've got all this time on our hands, and yet we're stuck.
We're stuck because, now that the basics and middle-ground issues are being "handled," we have to look to ourselves and find meaning - something that takes time and can't be short-cut.
"Why am I here? What makes me valuable if a computer can do my old job in half the time? What real value do I bring to the world?"
We didn't have time to deal with these questions before. We had work to do, dammit, and that had to come first, so we could eat - so we could SURVIVE! But now, with all this time on our hands, we're having to face these questions - and some of us have a boatload of anxiety, depression, fear, or ambivalence toward it.
To make matters worse, we've been taught that thinking of ourselves is selfish and inconsiderate, and we are, therefore "BAD" for behaving that way.
No wonder our culture sometimes feels like it's on a downward spiral.
The truth is, you've been doing it since you were born. You "took" your first breath, and it's been downhill ever since. In reality, you can't NOT put yourself first. It's just that our culture has made it out to be some sort of a crime because there are those among us who would take it to the far extreme. Putting yourself ahead of everyone else - at all costs - is a kind of selfishness that often comes from a place of fear.
Self-care is not selfish - including in your work. (tweet this)
More and more employees are jumping ship to work for themselves. I'm meeting more entrepreneurs who left corporate America after only a few years of being disillusioned about their prospects with their employers. I'm also meeting entrepreneurs that are carving out a name for themselves by defining success on their own terms. They're creating businesses and offers that take into account how they like to work, who they like to work with, and what they want their life to be like so that they can experience success now - not in 35 years. They see that there's no pot at the end of the rainbow, that "someday" doesn't come with a big red ribbon, and they're deciding what they really want and going for it now.
To "older folks" entrenched in the ancient ways of the Industrial Age, it feels a bit like treason. It's definitely shaking up their snowglobes - the idea that they can give themselves permission to walk away from something they don't love and do something that brings them joy - and get paid to do it -still strikes fear into many of my older family members. They grew up in Depression-era America, where you got one job and stuck with it until you were old enough to retire, take the watch and the pension, and then go have a REAL life - if you lived that long. I know many employees of the assembly line factories who literally gave their lives to their work, dropping dead within a few days of retirement.
I've said before that now is the best time for you to create a business (and a life) that works for you. Of course, that means getting clear on who you really are and what's really important to you. It means doing the work at the top of the pyramid, and finding the meaning that matters...
... to YOU.
For some folks, this might seem foreign, or scary, but there are countless people in the world doing it. In fact, I'm launching a new series next year that spotlights these folks (more on that in a later post). They are becoming the norm. Gone are the days of three television networks and multi-national conglomerates that corner the market. Now is the time of what I call the "experience economy" - and creating a life for yourself that matters. It's reaching smaller, tighter markets and making a big impact. It's happening now.
On Monday, I'll be leading a free teleclass called "Success Your Way: How to have a profitable, sustainable business that works for you in 2015... and beyond." If you're at all interested in riding this wave of business with meaning, I invite you to join me. You'll learn more about this crazy "pyramid scheme" called business, as well as how to figure out which stage of growth your business is in and how to shape it to this new experience economy... which might sound more technical than it really is.
In short, we'll talk about how YOU can create a business that works for you, based on how you define success. And if you're not sure how to define success, we'll talk about that, too.
How are you dealing with the way technology has pushed you up the pyramid? What has been a blessing (or a curse) for you because of it? Share your comments below.
It never ceases to pique my curiosity. Like the Bat-signal, or a police chase, when searchlights pop up in the sky, my brain tries triangulating the light sources to see if I can figure out what's happening. I start to wonder...
"What's so exciting?"
"Should I know what that's about?"
"Where exactly are those lights anyway?"
"I wonder if I can figure out where they are."
Am I the only one who thinks like this?
They light up the sky and command attention. The searchlight atop the Luxor hotel in Vegas is actually twice as bright as an equal area of the sun. That's powerfully bright, and it draws your eye if you're anywhere near it. Searchlights are a common scene at Hollywood movie premieres and other gala events. Why? Because people want you to look and see what's happening.
Wouldn't it make sense then, that searchlights can also be a beacon in your heart?
I've maintained for years that you already know your very next step. It's not about knowing. It's about giving yourself (more…)