There are those who might scoff at me for calling out a guy like Lewis Howes. After all, he's a pretty good guy, he's got a new book coming out this fall (I've read the first chapter, and so far, so good), and the value he shares on his podcasts is life changing for many.
Well, I was watching him on Periscope the other day, and while I enjoyed his scope and what he shared, I really think he missed the mark when talking about his 5 "Must-Haves" for creating a powerful, irresistible personal brand. He focused a LOT on specific tactics, which I think can be useful - for the right people. But some people simply can't (or won't) utilize those tactics for various reasons. Which would mean they don't have the "must haves" in place for creating a powerful personal brand (according to Lewis).
So does that mean they are screwed?
Hardly.
This week, I'm calling out Lewis because I want to dig deeper, get under the hood and see WHY he's recommending those tactics - which clearly work for him at the stage he's at in his business and brand development, but may not work for you. What will? When we get down to the reasons behind the tactics, THAT is where the gold is.
I even invoke the names of a knight, a dead man, and Scarface himself to make the point.
We're getting serious in this week's episode of Creative Freedom.
What's my platform? This blog is my primary platform. I also have some social media outposts (like Youtube, where my videos are hosted, facebook, and twitter) that host or amplify my Great Work in the world. My music is also a platform to share my Great Work.
What's my credibility? I've been a creative artist and entrepreneur for over 20 years. I built one of the first-ever ecommerce websites (by hand) back in the 90's. I've helped hundreds of solopreneurs double or triple their income, clear their calendars and have more free time, and essentially build a business that gives them time and money to enjoy their lives. I've also worked with several best selling authors to increase their reach, enlarge their platforms, or develop new revenue streams. I teach what works because I've been in the trenches. I've been on stages, interviewed on podcasts, and yes, I have an international best-selling business book written especially for solopreneurs (and another on the way). Some people call that more than enough. Others, because I don't have a bunch of awards and media attention would say I've still got work to do. My clients, seem pretty happy, though.
Where's my social proof? I've got pages of testimonials for my products, services, and my book. I've been invited to guest post on various blogs, speak on national stages, podcasts, and interviewed on local television. I've got a modest, organic following of real people on social media. I have endorsements from best selling authors and high recommendations from my clients. Again, for some people that's plenty. For others, they'd rather work with someone that's certified as a coach, or has a litany of credentials. The question YOU need to be asking is "how much is enough?" - because "enough" is relative, and only your right clients can answer that for you.
My personal connection to my audience? Sure, I use video - but that's a recent development. Before that, I held teleclasses and Q&A sessions where people could ask me anything. I've done webinars, and my newsletter has been going out almost every week for nearly 7 years now (I still have a few of those early subscribers on my list!) - and I respond personally to every email that's sent to me. I also use social media (Periscope, pinterest, and instagram are my go-to favorites right now) to connect with my audience and let them know me in a more personal way. Plus, every video in the 300 songs project begins with a story to give you an insight into me, the project, and the players who help me make the music so awesome. Connection is important to me.
My authenticity? I'm about as real as I know how to be. My brand is about showing up fully as yourself - warts, sparkles, and all. That means bad hair days, calling out minor celebrities, and generally telling the truth in love as I see it. Sometimes I'm wrong, and I own that. I try to create a judgement-free zone, and people who know me get that.
Did I miss the mark here? Is Lewis right? Am I wrong? Do you have your own take on what you need to build a powerful (profitable) personal brand? Share your thoughts in the comments, and let's be a rising tide for everyone. And if you know Lewis, tell him to stop in and share his thoughts!
First an exciting announcement: A few weeks ago, I happily celebrated 500,000 views on my YouTube channel. THIS week, I'm celebrating 300 subscribers (click here to subscribe instantly)!
Confetti! Fireworks! Hooray! Huzzah!
This has been a goal of mine for several years, and I'm beyond thrilled that it's finally happened. It was a lot more challenging than I expected, and I've learned a lot along the way. As my channel grows I've developed a love and strong respect for the YouTube community. If you're on YouTube, please say hi and spread the love. Your awesomeness makes this show possible.
THANK YOU.
I was on a coaching call with a client this week and we spent a good amount of time talking about how hard it can be to shine brightly when everyone around you is complaining about your light.
"You're too bright."
"Can you turn it down a little?"
"You're always so enthusiastic about [topic]. I'm tired of it."
While occasional constructive criticism is important (when you work with me, I'm not afraid to give it to you straight), it's also important to remember that you've got Divinely-given gifts that are uniquely yours to bring into the world.
Shout it out! Tell everyone about your brand. Heck, have your brand name printed out onto face masks, hoodies, pens or mugs if necessary. Don’t hide them away; be proud of who you are and what you have achieved.
Often times, we're put down, or we feel guilty about being so awesome. And even if you're shy and reserved, it can be tough to deal with the criticism and "baggage" others want to foist on you when you're sharing your gift with the world. It often results in being overgenerous as a means to counter the criticism, to be liked, or to "apologize" for your existence.
Been there, done that.
You don't need to apologize for being awesome. We all shine in our own way, and yes, some of us are called to shine "brighter" or to a "bigger" audience (remember: size is relative. If it's your dream, it's big. Period.). That doesn't make us any more (or less) needed in the world.
Sometimes we're put in a position where we shine brighter than the folks around us because they need to get used to having more light in their lives. This isn't a statement of arrogance. Most of the awesomely talented people I know didn't ask to be awesome. They just are. But the amount of guilt they feel and crap they take for being so shiny is overwhelming. I'm reminded of the crawdads in a bucket that keep pulling each other back down so that no one escapes.
You don't have to make your light any less bright. That's what sunglasses and window shades are for. People can choose to be around you and they can choose to leave. This is a lesson I'm learning myself. For YEARS I have felt the need to dim my own light because the people around me couldn't deal with how shiny I am. I never asked to shine. I was born with these gifts, and while I've honed them over the years, it was never in an attempt to be better than anyone other than myself.
It's not your job to diminish your light. Your job is to shine your light into the world. (Click to tweet this)
There are plenty of people in the world who are afraid of the light. Heck, even Plato wrote about it in his Allegory of the Cave. But here's the thing:
Just because other people are afraid of the light, or judge the light, or shun the light, doesn't mean that you need to take it personally.
When I walk into my bedroom and flip on the light, sometimes my husband grumps about it. My light bulb doesn't get all defensive and start apologizing for being bright. That's what light bulbs do, for pity's sake! And while I might apologize for causing my husband pain, I rarely apologize for turning on the light because I needed the light to see. Don't apologize for your needs. Apologizing for your needs equates to saying "I'm not worthy of having my needs met. I'm sorry for my existence."
Word choices can be tricky, eh? But I've said this many times in the past: you train people how to treat you based on what you've come to accept from them and what they've come to expect from you. If you're constantly apologizing for your existence, then, Houston, YOU have a problem.
Katy Perry sang an inspiring song that confirms that the only way to shine is to ignite yourself:
"You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July"
I think it's safe to say that if you don't ignite yourself - and let yourself shine - it's improbable that anyone else will do it for you.
On the surface, Independence Day is about celebrating my country's establishment as a sovereign nation. It's become the high holy day of picnics, beach fun, and fireworks.
But at the core, it's a symbol to embrace what matters most to you, hold it out for the world to see, and stand your ground. Do you think the British were particularly pleased? Hardly. They fought us for several years before and after we claimed our independence.
You'll probably face a few battles of your own (both internal and external ones). That's to be expected. As several great minds (including William Lamb and Stan Lee) once said, "with great power comes great responsibility." Being awesome ain't always easy, but you've got it in you to handle it!
Need a little extra incentive?
Our Independence Week edition of Creative Freedom brings us a special "guest appearance" - this time by Katy Perry. It's a friendly reminder to own your awesomeness.
What are you awesome at? Go on! Toot your own horn (I dare you)! How have you been holding back your awesomeness? Do you know someone else that's letting their light shine "brighter than the moon"? Share your stories, thoughts, and ideas in the comments.
If you or someone you know could use this information, please share us with them and be part of our Rising Tide! Every share helps. THANK YOU!
OH, BTW... Des is coming back from California this week, so look for new videos in the 300 songs project soon! YAY!
It's here! After months of being sick, fighting resistance, and in general just not getting it done, I'm proud to announce my new web series for creative entrepreneurs! It's called "Creative Freedom" and we talk about anything and everything related to building a creative business that lets you have more profit in your pocket and more time to enjoy the money you're making.
One of the business support systems I've come to value above most anything else is my mastermind group. These wonderful people come together to celebrate and support one another in their life and business pursuits. One of the things that
As a recovering overachiever, I've learned a thing or two about spinning plates. In fact, some might call me a pro. I can't count the number of times I've heard someone say:
"Damn, Lisa! How do you manage to get so much done?"
"Lisa, you are EVERYWHERE! How do you do it?"
"You seem like you've got a lot going on, Lisa. How do you manage it all?"
The truth is, my days are fairly light. I may have an appointment or two on a given day, but I spend a lot of time home alone, focused on doing the work. Whether that's practicing piano, scripting or filming a new video, or taking my kids to the doctor, I've created crystal clear priorities that keep me on track.
For all the stuff I am doing, I still say "no" to a lot of things that don't mesh with my priorities.
And yet, I'm not perfect. I still manage to say "yes" to enough activities that can distract me and take me off course from time to time.
What I've learned in my years as an entrepreneur and coach is that it's easy to get distracted from your priorities (REALLY EASY). Add to that the fact that very few people will volunteer to hold you accountable to your priorities, and you've got a recipe for overwhelm.
So how do you mitigate overwhelm and keep your business on track? Here are 5 tips to help you create a focus and stick with it throughout the year.
1. Pre-plan your priorities. In my Dreamblazing program, we set your objectives for the next 12 months, and then we prioritize them. By deciding your priorities in advance, you've got a filter you can pass every opportunity through for the coming months. By pre-planning your priorities in this way, you've got a much better chance at staying on task and not getting sidetracked by pop-up "emergencies" or "special opportunities" that don't support your priorities. For example, one year, my top priority wasn't in my business - it was to build a healthier relationship with my son. When I had the opportunity to speak at an event that conflicted with a commitment I'd made with him, I had to say no to that opportunity. Did I miss out? Not based on my priorities. I held firm to what was most important for me at that time. It would have been easy to re-prioritize in the moment - especially if we'd needed the money. But I'd made a decision months earlier to focus on quality time with my son. That decision made saying "no" easier.
Pre-planning your priorities isn't just an annual thing. I use The PEACE System to clarify my priorities on a daily basis. By making sure my top priorities are on my radar each day, I accomplish more of what matters in less time, because I'm not distracted as often.
2. Guard your self-care time. This has been the most valuable lesson of my business career. When lots of tasks, challenges, and opportunities are coming down the pike at the same time, it's easy to neglect your personal time. Everybody wants a piece of you. Everybody wants to pick your brain, get a little of your time, and it all adds up. Next thing you know, it's been days since you've had a shower, and you can't remember when you had any white space in your day.
Not that I speak from experience, or anything.
When I was working as an Admin in the automotive industry, I routinely managed the calendars of six (yep, SIX) executives. I was their sole support person, which meant juggling the needs and priorities of five high-powered, driven, single-minded guys - and one woman who was probably the most driven of them all. Multitasking was my specialty. But self-care was not. I remember the day I came to work in a pair of hose I'd rinsed out and blow-dried that morning because I'd put in so many hours at work I'd forgotten to do my laundry.
Self care is making sure you've got time to see to your own needs. It isn't always about going to the spa and getting a massage - though that's nice, too. It's about white space in your day. The auto industry was filled with people who'd wolf down lunch in 5 minutes - never leaving their desk because of an all-day conference call. I watched these execs turn their offices into sleeping quarters, changing rooms, and occasionally a bathroom (don't ask).
That's what a lack of self-care looks like. I've spend the last 10 years shifting away from that, creating more "white space" in my life so that when a true emergency crops up (like a phone call from my kid's school, asking me to come get him), it's not a Herculean task to rearrange my day. A quick call or an email and I've got things handled.
3. Right-size your expectations. There's a running joke that if you give a man a piece of paper and a list of things to do, he'll use as little of the paper as possible, whereas a woman will fill up that to-do list, turn the page over, and keep on writing. It's easy to find things to do, things that need our attention, and that's where overwhelm starts the slow creep. I don't care who you are, without a small army, it's virtually impossible to clean an entire house, prepare three meals from scratch for a family of four, do all the dishes, take all the kids to all their appointments, balance the P&L statement, create your blog content, do three interviews, create four web pages, host a webinar, make seven sales calls, get in an hour of exercise, take a nap, and be bright eyed and bushy tailed, showered and shaved for your evening out with friends. And if you have a chronic illness or need to take care of ailing loved ones, you have to expect even less of yourself.
It doesn't make you a bad business person. It means you're human! Something has to give. Maybe you get a support team, call in reinforcements, or just postpone some happenings for another day. As much as you might like to believe it, NO ONE can do it all (so quit trying!).
Right-sizing your expectations means getting more of the right things done. (tweet this)
Coming down off a multi-tasking high in the auto industry, I had to re-assess what I was truly capable of on a given day. I knew I wanted more white space, more peace and ease, but I was also used to getting a lot done in a day. At first, my to-do lists were incredibly long. Then I let the pendulum swing the other way: no more than one appointment per day. Over time, I managed to find a "groove" that works for me: most days are appointment free, with two days a week dedicated to handling scheduled appointments (coaching calls, doctor visits, etc.) This gives me plenty of white space to stay in creative flow, while also giving me plenty of energy to handle the scheduled appointments during one or two days of the week (and lots of energetic "recovery time" thereafter).
4. Get an accountability partner. My pal Winnie has been my stalwart business buddy for over two years now. We connect via skype almost every week, and together we've launched best-selling books, grown new business divisions, re-branded, and so much more. There's no way I could have stayed the course over the past two years without her willingness to show up and hold me accountable for the priorities I've set for myself. We don't nag each other. We know that priorities change, and we go with that flow. But we're also willing to call B.S. on each other when we're dragging our heels on a project to which we've committed.
An accountability partner provides a powerful level of support & encouragement on a frequent basis. Because you're working together, there's an added benefit that you're going to learn from each other. I count Winnie as one of my best friends - not just because she knows where all the bodies are buried! It takes a certain kind of person to be willing to put up with me, call me on my crap, and still be willing to cheer me on and celebrate my successes. And I get the honor of doing the same for her.
5. Make friends with "no". Get used to saying (and hearing) no a lot more often. When you ask for help, sometimes the answer will be no. Keep asking. It's not always because you don't want to say yes. Sometimes you need to say no because it's not in alignment with your priorities. That's wonderful. Oh, and don't take it personally when someone else tells you no.
I remember coming home from a week-long workshop a while ago. Upon my return, one of my clients called to "fire" me. I was SO happy for them that it kind of threw them off guard. They didn't need me anymore, and while I knew it, they couldn't imagine a different path than they one they'd envisioned with me on it. I had even suggested they replace me with an employee at much less cost, but it wasn't happening... until I left for the week.
That time away gave them clarity to see new possibilities and alternatives that would better suit them and their bottom line. When I picked up the phone and heard "we've decided not to renew your contract," all I could say was "HOORAY! THAT'S AWESOME!" It totally threw my client for a loop because it wasn't the answer they were expecting. I reminded my client that my sole purpose was to help them get profitable and find the path that worked for them. They were finally taking my advice which meant a more profitable direction for their company. Keeping me on wouldn't be in alignment with their best interests, nor mine. So, like Nanny McPhee, it was time for me to go.
Bonus tip: Be forgiving with yourself. In all my years of prioritizing and planning, I still get it wrong from time to time. Nobody's perfect. Even the best laid plans change. Pick a course and stick with it to the best of your abilities, but if something happens that requires a redirect (like your kid going to jail), go with it. When I was a financial advisor, we were taught that "life happens every six months." So rather than rail against it, we made a plan for it. I still do. My Dreamblazing program has built-in check-ins every quarter, to ensure that the priorities you've set are still the right ones for you.
Let me hear from ya! What's been keeping you in overwhelm lately? How do you manage to get more of the right things done? Share your comments below and let's be a rising tide for the entire community.
When "Now Discover Your Strengths" came out, let's just say I was a very late adopter. So late, in fact, that I had already bought "Strengths Finder 2.0" first. After taking the test to find my strengths, I was non-plussed. I felt like I already knew what my strengths were, and the book and quiz basically confirmed it.
For those of you keeping track, my top five strengths are: Strategic, Woo, Communication, Context, and Connectedness - in that order.
Call me slow, but once I knew what I already knew, the book sat on my shelves for years. Since I "already knew everything" it was relegated to the bookshelf that I rarely touch - the one I'm cleaning out now to move into my studio.
When I clear off bookshelves, I always dive back in to some random pages and see if the book still holds any value for me before I let it go. Some books I read once and pass off immediately. Not because they aren't good, but because I really feel like I've gotten everything I could from the book.
Yes, sometimes that means buying another copy of the book when my hard-headedness wears off, but not usually. I have a learning addiction, so I'm constantly absorbing new material, and like any user, once it's all used up, we discard it and move on to the next fix.
For whatever reason, I held onto an entire collection of books by Marcus Buckingham, Tom Rath, and Donald Clifton. I kept telling myself that they'd come in handy for client work, and since I'm taking on fewer one-on-one clients now, it seemed like a good idea to go back through them and see what good they'd do me.
So as I flipped back through the book, I read the descriptions of each of my strengths. I found myself nodding. Then, I found myself writing them all down - and highlighting! I haven't highlighted a book since college!
Clearly something was happening in my brain. It was almost unconscious... like my hands were operating independent of me. By the time it was done, I'd re-worded the five lengthy paragraphs to look something like this:
What makes me so awesome? It’s a unique combination of clear, meaningful strategy and communication with a positive impact.
Clear, Meaningful Strategy: Strategy is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective that allows me to see patterns others don’t. It's a big reason I was appointed to a government-sponsored think tank as a teenager. It’s an advantage that helps me find potential obstacles before you hit a road block, a dead-end path, or the land of confusion. Clarity is king with me. I also believe we are on this rock for a purpose. Yes, we make our own decisions and we are accountable for those choices and actions, and still we have a greater gift to share with the world. Whatever your connection of choice (Spirit, God, six degrees of separation, etc.), we are all connected to each other in some small way. This perspective helps me understand how today’s strategies impact tomorrow’s results.
Communication With A Positive Impact: Words are my palette. I've won multiple awards for my writing, music and performances. I have a deep need to bring ideas, stories and events to life, energize them, and make them exciting and vivid. I use examples that make it easier for you to relate, understand, and apply to your specific situation. People like to listen to me because I’m a knowledgeable, passionate communicator and I inspire them to take action in meaningful ways. I also believe that words are meaningless unless they mean something to you. So I want to learn who you are, what makes you tick, where you’ve been and where you want to go. Your back story helps us understand how to plan for the future. You'll make better, more confident decisions when you understand your back story. This keeps you from making the same mistakes or re-inventing the wheel on your path to success.
If you've read the book, you'll recognize some of the language, but it's decidedly my own spin on what Clifton, Rath, and Buckingham have described as my top 5 strengths. I've already added it to my about page, and will soon have micro versions on my social media profiles and new one-sheet as well.
1. Buy the book and take the test. Make sure you get a copy of the book that has an unused access code for the test. Once you've taken the test, make note of your top 5 strengths.
2. Copy down all 5 strengths descriptions. The paragraphs are way too long for a bio. You'll be editing mercilessly in the next step. For now, just copy it all down.
3. Edit mercilessly. Change all the "you" statements to "I" statements, and re-write the paragraphs into something very client focused. I was able to eventually take the Strategy and Connectedness paragraphs and blend them into one. For me, I wanted to show people that Strategy is worthless without a bigger picture meaning.You can see that I used the phrase "I also believe..." as a transition from one thought (strategic) to the next (connectedness). You want to streamline all this information into something digestible for an average reader. You're not necessarily trying to condense each strength into one or two paragraphs like I did, though. It could be 5 smaller pargraphs if your strengths don't seem to logically go together like mine did. In any case, do what works for you, since this is your bio, and you want to be proud to share it with people.
4. Sprinkle in your credentials. The idea is to give a nod to your accomplishments, but stay focused on how they help your clients. You'll want to find no more than 1 or two things that illustrate each of your strengths. Here I've mentioned my appointment to a think tank as a teenager to illustrate and affirm my strategic abilities. I've also mentioned that I'm an award-winning writer, musician, and performer - which hopefully serves to both inspire my audience and encourage them to experience the different ways I communicate with context.
5. Check for grammatical issues. Cutting and pasting words and ideas often leaves a trail of errant punctuation, capitalization, and stray words that just don't belong. Look for fragments, incomplete ideas, and anything that doesn't clearly represent your unique value to your clients. Remember, your bio needs to be client-focused, even if it's talking about you.
6. Rest. Not everyone writes or edits well. You'll likely need a few passes at this, but even if you're a fantastic writer, I recommend at least one re-write. Once you've made your first round of edits, let it rest for a day and come back to it with fresh eyes. You'll probably see a few tense changes you missed, as well as some ways to refine the language and make it sound more like you.
7. Repeat the edits. Even I caught some glaring things I could fix as I was writing this post. Make sure your credentials are the ones you feel the most positive about - they don't have to be the most glowing praise, but the ones you feel proudest to share with people. If it doesn't work for you, you won't share it with people. The whole purpose of a bio is for people to get to know you. Repeat steps 6 & 7 as needed.
8. Let 'er fly! Share it with a few trusted people and get their response. You may find, as I did, that some people have no idea about what makes you so awesome. They may also point out some things you missed. That doesn't mean they're right and you're wrong. You still have permission to do things your way!
This approach can actually work with most of the personality-type assessments people take. You may notice that I included my fascination advantage "anthem" (knowledgable, passionate communicator) - which is taken from Sally Hogshead's work, "How The World Sees You." Strengths Finder is just one approach that worked surprisingly well (and fast) for me. I may go back and look at the results from some of the other assessments I've taken and see how I can incorporate them, but for now, I have something useful, meaningful, and intriguing for my clients and potential clients to get to know me better.
She was sprawled out on the sidewalk, screaming bloody murder. The bike - a garage sale special (meaning there was no padding on the all-metal seat) - was still somehow attached to her.
She and I lived close to each other, and were about the same age, but I had no real interest in bikes when I was six. I wanted her to play dolls with me, but no. She was a tomboy through and through. And she really wanted to learn how to ride a bike.
Her parents bought her this scrap metal bike with what little money they had, took it home, cleaned it up with a bit of red spray paint, and after letting it dry, gave it to her.
She wasted no time. She hopped on (no training wheels), and took off down the neighborhood. I lived at the end of the street, so most of the kids used our house as the turnaround. I waited for her there.
She was no stranger to bikes. Most of the neighborhood kids had them and let her ride when parents weren't looking. Some with training wheels, some without. When this little girl climbed on her very own bike, she was a natural.
Until...
Still straddling the metal heap of a bicycle, but flat on her back, the girl was screaming bloody murder. Apparently, she hit a sidewalk bump where the concrete was broken up and the metal seat jammed her... in the... well, you know.
She lost control, the bike fell over, and she was sort of tangled up in it.
So much screaming. So much crying. I kept looking for blood, but didn't see any. Maybe she broke her leg or something. I thought for sure her folks were going to end up taking her to the hospital. Even her brother - who normally ignored his baby sister - set out to figure out if she was okay... or at least get the kid to stop crying and screaming.
Once they calmed her down, they realized that beyond the need for a padded seat, the only thing that was really bruised was her pride. So her father, in all his infinite wisdom, encouraged her to "stop crying like a baby and get back on the damn bike."
The little girl obediently climbed back on - after setting the bike back up and giving it a firm kick to show it who was boss. This time, instead of riding up and down the street, she practiced in my gravel driveway. She practiced turning, braking, and navigating the bike on "a bumpy road" as she called it. She even managed to teach herself to ride "standing up" so that the seat didn't get the best of her again.
She fell a few more times (gravel wipeouts - OUCH!), but under the watchful eye of her parents, she managed to get back up without shedding a single tear.
By dinnertime, she was racing one of the neighbor kids, giggling and playing as if she was a cycling pro.
Eat your heart out, Lance Armstrong!
A colleague of mine once shared a similar equation with me. She was using it to talk about the power of irresistible presence, and how, when these three elements are combined, you are more able to show up in a magnetic and authentic way.
The more I looked at her equation, the more truth I saw.
Success in anything can ONLY come when we have these three elements in proper measure. Without all three, you'll fall short in some way. Don't believe me? Let's look and see:
One of the most important things I've ever done for myself was develop The PEACE System. It helps me have crystal clarity on my priorities for any given day. Coupled with my Dreamblazing program, I've created my perfect solution to knowing exactly what matters most in any given moment. I have total CLARITY on what to do, and why.
After she fell, that little girl had clarity that her bike had a few issues, and that she needed more practice riding with it before she took it out onto the broken sidewalks of our ghetto neighborhood.
But clarity alone only helps you see the bicycle. It doesn't give you insight into how to actually ride it. Clarity says "I need to learn how to ride the bike." Confidence says "This is how one rides a bike."
Big difference.
You know what that means right? No? Here's the Urban Dictionary definition. CONFIDENCE comes from this space of knowing. When you've got clarity, you can make some decisions about what to do, and what not to do. You can even help other people make decisions based on what you know. As a coach, I am lucky enough to work with clients that need to make changes in their lives and business, but if all I did was spout off my knowledge, or tell them what to do, I'd be nothing more than a "sexual intellectual" that no one wants to work with. What's more, if I left my clients in that space, they'd never make any forward progress.
Confidence is the by-product of practice. Practice can only happen in a safe space. Like learning to ride a bike, there's always a fear of falling down, but training wheels and a steady hand on the back of the seat can make all the difference between riding down the street and never getting on the bike in the first place.
Confidence is built when the action you take is positively reinforced. When that little girl got back up on the bike, her parents stood by (safe space) and encouraged her progress. When her progress was reinforced, it gave her the confidence to know that she could ride this bike.
That little girl knew she could ride a bike - she'd done it before. She just needed to figure out how to handle the particular quirks of this bike. She quickly realized the seat would be an issue, so she needed to learn how to ride standing up. That would pretty much solve her "cushion" problem.
But knowing is only half the battle (GI Joe!)... or in this case a third of the battle. Because all the clarity & confidence in the world won't help you if you don't have the courage to do something with what you know.
For most people, if you've got courage, you've got confidence. COURAGE is the active piece to the "knowing" of Confidence. But sadly, people act with "courageous stupidity" all the time. You hear stories about someone accidentally setting their house on fire because they tried to kill a spider with a torch. Crazed drivers struck by road rage who speed up as someone tries to pass them - only to find out that person was a cop.
We all have something we're fighting for, something we believe in, something that in our bones we know to be true (that we'll defend to the bitter end). But without clarity (of what an appropriate response would be, for example), our courageous acts come off just plain arrogant or stupid.
This little girl could have thrown the bike to the ground in disgust and refused to ride it. After all, she "knew" she could ride a bike, and this one wasn't behaving properly. But because she also had clarity that this was the only bike her parents could afford, if she really wanted her very own bike to ride, she'd have to act differently.
Clarity says "I need to learn how to ride the bike." Confidence says "This is how one rides a bike." Courage says "This is me, riding this damn bike."
I'm leading a free workshop on Saturday March 14, 2015 to help you have more clarity, confidence, and courage in your life and business. If you're ready to learn how to create your own safe space to develop confidence and courage in your life and work, I hope you'll join me for this special, one-time-0nly workshop. You can learn more and register here. I'll also be sharing more about my Creative Freedom Apprenticeship and telling you how you could earn a scholarship to attend at no cost to you.
Anyone can be a hero for a day.
An above-and-beyond gesture. An extra dose of good-will. Being in the right place at the right time.
Anyone can have a day like that, do something awesome, and be a hero for a day or two.
True heroes walk the walk, even when it's difficult. They do the right thing when there's NOT a profit to be made. Sometimes, they do the right thing when the wrong thing appears to be far more profitable in the moment.
They're concerned about eternity, not about right now.
When I say "eternity," I'm not necessarily talking "heaven or hell", religion, or anything of that sort.
I'm talking about being able to wake up each morning, look yourself in the eye, and know that you've made the most of yesterday, with a commitment to doing your darnedest to make today even better.
Action heroes get banged up, scratched and dented, and take a few beatings from time to time. They get a little dirty, bloodied up, and still they rise, because they know it's not about the short-term gain, it's about the end game.
Who's going to be at your funeral? What are they going to say about you? How will you be remembered? Will you be remembered at all?
Sarah Robinson once wrote about what I call the "Hero of Now," the hero of right this moment. The flash in the pan that looks good on paper, seems to be on a hot streak, or appears to have some of the success you desire. This "flash in the pan" can be pretty easy on the eyes. In fact, sometimes we get mesmerized and then we're stunned when that flash turns out to be of little substance, or simply doesn't have the long-term value that makes them a true hero.
I've been there at least eleventy-jillion times in my own life and career (give or take a few jillion). You see someone that's doing their thing and it's hard NOT to notice. In fact, our brains are hard-wired to pay attention to something in which we're interested. The Reticular Activating System (RAS) in your brain is what causes you to notice every silver Jeep Liberty on the road after you decide that's the kind of car you want to buy next... or ignore the voice of every other screaming kid at the McDonald's playland except yours.
Here's an excerpt from what Sarah noted:
I thought part of a leader’s job was to search for unnoticed diamonds in the rough and start to polish them. I thought true leaders never, ever forgot that they were once unnoticed and that someone reached out to help them become who they are.
Apparently I was wrong.
When I see “leaders” huddled together in a self-congratulatory group (I’ve even heard of an event where the leaders sit in a roped off area, inaccessible to the “common” attendees), it makes me question any aspiration I might have to someday be among them.
I know not all experts and leaders are like this and that gives me the hope I need to keep going.
Speaking as the kid in high school that was the music geek with TWO 6th hour classes my senior year, I know the uncool factor, and wore it well for a while.
Just like in high school, those would-be heroes are quite often real-life zeros once the playing field is leveled.
I can't tell you how many kids from my past - that thought I was uncool, unworthy, un____, now approach me with some kind of "wow! Look at you!" amazement.
They know I've "arrived" in a way they never did. But I'm still striving, and they're stuck wearing the blue apron at the local big box store.
So too are many of those internet flashes in the pan that were once riding high now facing their own issues: health issues, family troubles, bankruptcies, divorces, lawsuits, and other not so pretty consequences of doing their thing for momentary success, instead of building for the long term.
People talk. Your audience sees you even if they don't always say so. Today's hero, if they continue to demonstrate heroic qualities, will continue to be a hero decades from now. If today's hero runs off at the mouth and ignores the music geeks too often, they end up fat, balding, and with no prospects...
Not that I speak from experience or anything (hee hee).
Think about music: Billy Joel is a legend. Starland Vocal Band? Not so much. Their one hit, "Afternoon Delight," was the biggest-selling single of 1976. They even won a Grammy, but by 1981, they had called it quits.
Do you want to be a one-hit wonder or a lifetime achievement award winner? Both of them may win a Grammy, but who will be remembered for their enduring contribution?
It's hard to ignore a flash in the pan... until the Hope Diamond comes along. (Tweet This)
When you look at your business, your life, are you building something that lasts? Are you a true hero to the folks you serve, the colleagues that seek you out? Are you "The Hope Diamond" of your industry, or just another flash in the pan?
Sometimes it's hard to know for sure. We've all watched someone skyrocket to the top of their industry, stay there for a few years, and then get "shot down" by some kind of incident, controversy, or some other bad PR issue.
They stand the test of time - despite their shortcomings. True business heroes are around for decades or centuries, not months or years. True business heroes continue to learn and grow, develop their network, and rarely rest on their laurels.
True heroes adapt, are agile, and realize that getting beat up is part of standing up for what's right. Just because a company is making billions today doesn't mean it has the wherewithal to be in a future edition of "Built to Last". There are plenty of companies (and people) that started with a future just as bright as Facebook, and ended up extinct.
What makes a true hero? Who are your heroes in life and business? Is there a secret ingredient? I'm guessing you have some thoughts about it. Share them in the comments, and let's start a conversation!
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: This article originally appeared one of my old blogs in March, 2011. I revised it for re-publication here, since I felt it deserved a little resurrection.]
"That's impossible!"
I can't count the number of times I've heard that phrase in my life. It's usually preceded by "You can't do that!", or followed by "Why don't you try something else?"
Meh.
I sometimes think that when God gave me the choice to be born, I told him to give me the absolute hardest path to success - just so I could prove to people it could be done.
Then again, I also used to dream of being a mermaid.
I have, however, always been a bit of an overachiever. I'm the kind of person that says "Oh yeah? WATCH me!" when someone says "you can't..." I've taken trips, been in programs, raised kids, and generally lived my life unconventionally.
It's only been recently that I've learned the art of quitting. I was always the person that flatly refused to give up. I worked a job where my paycheck bounced - twice -before I took the hint that I should probably move on. I've gotten better at seeing the signals that tell me it's time to move on. On the whole, though, I'm still a tenacious, relentless being. I don't quit just because something's hard.
In my years of experience, I've managed to see my way through a lot of "really hard" stuff. I experienced the joy of living on welfare, abuse, racism, and more - all before I graduated high school (with honors, thank you very much). I grew up in Flint, Michigan, the most dangerous city in America, for heaven's sake! I think that automatically earns me some kind of combat medal.
I left school and forged my own path. Then I got pregnant and did the single mom thing for a while. My 20's had their share of... well, me being in my 20's!
Then, I got married to a man who's had to deal with his own emotional baggage. I mothered my eldest through a lot of troubled times. My youngest was involved in his babysitter's conviction for child sexual misconduct. I built a company, closed it, and laid off my one employee. And that's just the last 10 years of my life!
Saying all this isn't about shock value. It's not even about bragging. Yeah, I've been through some tough stuff, but so have many other people I know and love.
This is really about staying power. Grit. Stick-to-it-iveness, and being willing to gut it out when things get really really HARD.
Because "impossible" isn't the same as "really hard."
Impossible, as originally defined, means "not able to occur, exist, or be done." If it's impossible, it's simply not possible.
But Napoleon Hill said "Anything the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can be achieved."
Now, good old Mr. Hill didn't say it would be easy. He just said it can be done. It's possible.
It's possible to fly, to plumb the depths of the sea, use touch fasteners to "tie" shoes, and chat with friends in other countries in real time. If you wanted to do any of those things 200 years ago, it would have seemed impossible. But the truth is, it would have been really REALLY hard... especially if you tried to do it all by yourself.
But someone eventually developed materials that made submarines and airplanes possible, "moving pictures" a reality, and velcro a staple in my kid's shoe closet. All the raw materials existed 200 years ago, but they hadn't been put together yet. It took a series of chemists starting in the late 1700's and early 1800's to figure out the polymers that would eventually give us Velcro in the 1950's.
It takes a village, yo.
When I was 21, and pregnant (more…)
As I hear clients, colleagues, and friends sharing their goals for 2015, there's a chorus being repeated over and over:
"This year is the year I FINALLY break __ figures!"
I've heard it so many times that it makes me dizzy and sad to think about the number of folks who continue to miss the mark on this particular goal each year. When I ask why they haven't hit their goal yet, I hear lots of "reasons" - but ultimately, those reasons all mask the truth of why they really haven't hit their big income goal - whatever it is.
First a warning: "Big income goal" is relative. Like dream shame, the fact that you have a goal means it's big. For you, it might be 10 figures, or 6, or 5, or being able to finally quit the day job. The number doesn't matter. The principles are the same regardless of the number of zeroes at the end of the figure.
Why is it that most entrepreneurs that dream of making "mucho dinero" don't hit their big income goal? Here are a few reasons I've encountered (both on my own journey, as well as with my clients): (more…)
I think it was Jesus that said a prophet has no honor in his own home town, with his own family, or even in his own house.
It's one of the big reasons I first built my business online - away from the prying eyes and judgmental insinuations of my own family and friends.
Don't get me wrong, on the whole I've managed to remove myself from the toxic relationships of my younger days, but there are still a few lingering reminders that only serve to affirm the wisdom of Jesus.
I've been a musician and performing artist for decades. I'm glad to be able to offer my services for a lot of different kinds of events. A family member once asked me to perform for a public event she was facilitating. She needed a strong singer to lead the music for the event. Naturally, I accepted. She's family, and it was for a worthy cause.
And of course, I didn't ask to be compensated, because it was a charity event, I had close ties to the organization, and I wanted the opportunity to perform, share my gifts, and serve on a larger scale.
That was all well and good until I realized I had "served" my way out of my own value.
The day of the event arrived, and as I was rehearsing with the other musicians, she came over and paid the pianist an undisclosed sum for his services. I didn't even get a thank-you card.
It was then that the words of Jesus rang in my head. More and more, I'm hearing stories from clients about doing "spec" work, or free work just for the exposure, only to discover there really isn't a real exposure opportunity. Or they're taking crappy-paying work because, hey, at least it pays something.
I'm here to tell you that you're crippling your business - and possibly your health and well-being. If you're saying yes to anything that comes along, you're not giving yourself room to do the work you really enjoy. Then, when the "good stuff" comes up, you're already booked! Let my example be your shortcut to sanity and more profitability. Here are three ways you can get more of the right people to value your work.
On one level, I was livid that my family member didn't see the value of the work I contributed to the event. I had to learn dozens of songs, rehearse them, and then perform them without errors - just like the other musicians. I also emceed the event, introduced the music, and was the "personality" for the event. Those are also elements of a performance that must be practiced. For as easy as it looks, I don't just show up and "wing it" for an audience. Even my improvisational work at murder mystery dinners comes from years of practice.
She didn't see enough value in my work to even give me any token of appreciation.
That's partly her fault, and partly mine. Had I done my job in the first place, and educated her about the value of my work, chances are good she would have at least given me a thank-you card or some small sign of appreciation.
If you leave it to chance, and just trust that people will recognize the value of who you are and what you do, you'll often be disappointed. It's one reason why I've heard so many people say "the marketing is more important than the mastery." That's not true, of course, because you don't want to be marketing crap, but at the same time, if you're not marketing at all, you're leaving money on the table and missing out on opportunities that could otherwise be coming your way.
And by "marketing" I mean educating your market about the value of who you are and what you do. Until they understand why you are good at your craft, until they understand why your prices are what they are, it's easy for them to price-shop - or worse, ask you to work for free.
I talk with a lot of entrepreneurs who understand the value of their offering - the work they do, the product or service the provide - but they don't value themselves enough to be paid. Hollywood writer Harlan Ellison and creative firm owner Mike Monteiro both speak out about the importance of not taking YOURSELF for granted in the business of doing business (warning: both videos have adult language). Plumbers and doctors can assert a value in the market for their services because of the results they provide. "I'll fix your pipes, and it'll cost you X." There's a clear outcome. But when we start looking at what we think are more nebulous or intangible "results" we discount the value that we bring to the table.
In truth, YOU are the reason that the offer has value in the first place. I say it a LOT - as a personality-based business, you are the most important product that your company has to offer. When I work with direct sellers, it's important they grasp this concept. They are one in perhaps a million other people selling the exact same product for the exact same price out of the exact same catalog. What makes their business the one to choose? People choose to work with a particular direct seller because of who they are, not what they offer.
If you don't value the contribution that you make, why should anyone else?
My grandfather was a carpenter. He once charged a guy $50 to hang a picture in his office. He walked in, tapped on the wall, then drove a nail with two deft strokes. He hung the frame and handed the guy the bill. Outraged, the guy wanted to know why he charged $50 to drive a nail. My grandfather took back the invoice, scribbled something on it and returned it to him. It now read:
Driving one nail: $10
Knowing where to drive that nail: $40
Total due: $50
I make singing look easy because of the thousands of hours in my life I've already spent learning music, performing, and honing my craft. I've got hundreds of youtube videos of me speaking or performing in some way. That's all "free" work I've been doing for years. Lots of practice!
Where have you invested in your life in ways that improve your craft? Value that investment. (Tweet this)
Sometimes, you can educate people until you (and they) are blue in the face, but if you're singing show tunes in a honky tonk, you're going to get booed off the stage no matter how good you are.
When you're first starting out in business, it's a seductive trap to take whatever business comes along - anyone who can fog up a mirror or anyone who pays, regardless of whether or not they're a good fit for you. Ultimately, it means you don't have a business, but rather that you're a whore willing to dish it out to anyone willing to pay you. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's true. Although, my friend and colleague, Sydney Barrows, would probably argue with me. She's the former madam that ran Cache' - a high-end "escort service" back in the 80's. She had a very clear idea of her target audience, and didn't waver. If a client was a jerk, they were fired. Her clients were A-list-ers and her "girls" were expected to provide a quality experience - with a price tag to match.
If it works for the escort business, it most certainly can work for you.
You're wasting your time if you're trying to justify your existence to everyone - friends and family included. I had to back away from people who didn't get me, people who didn't understand what I was all about. I had to find "my people". I've been in various mastermind-type groups over the years, and a year and a half ago I came to roost with a group of local women - all authors - who are some of my strongest supporters and encouragers. They understand me. They help me get some clarity. They even hold me accountable when I ask. I've got other supporters, too. People who see the real me (and love me anyway), like my coaches and colleagues (like Sydney). You'll notice I didn't include my spouse. I love my hubby, and I learned many moons ago that he doesn't get what I do. He's starting to understand a little, but we've been married for almost 10 years now. I had to stop holding my breath, and only share with him the stuff that he understands. The rest, I save for "my peeps."
Whether you're a direct seller, a shop clerk, or a performing artist, you've got to know who you're here to serve. Again, it makes no sense to sing show tunes in a honky tonk - even if they had an opening and it's great exposure. Sometimes you get lucky and the audience knows clearly what it wants - like a local barbecue joint that only plays blues music. Blues and barbecue go together easily. But most of the time, it's up to you to hone in on who you're here to serve.
As a business coach, I focus on growing businesses - specifically those where the business owner is the face of the company. That means I work with a lot of direct sellers, solo-preneurs, authors, speakers, and performing artists. It's a wide variety of people, yet they all share the commonality of being the face of their business. Why? Because I am a personality-based business owner. I am "the singing business coach" - a musician and performing artist who helps other people like me grow a profitable, sustainable business. I understand the particular issues these folks have in balancing personal and professional commitments. We don't have traditional "work hours" because our face is always "on". There are unique concerns that these businesses face that major corporations don't. I understand that intimately because it's the life I've lived for decades now.
That is my professional audience. What's yours? Who do you most resonate with? Who are the people you get the best results with or most enjoy working with? What do they have in common? Those are the threads that help you define your professional audience. Once you've defined it, speak directly to them. Stop trying to win everyone else over. A lot of people won't get you. That's okay. Focus on serving the ones who do.
Once you value the role you play in the work you do, and can educate your right people about that value, it's easier to command the prices (and respect) that you deserve.
How have you experienced this feeling of not being valued for the work you do? How did you handle it? Please share your comments below!