[Editor's note: Today is day 13 in the Be Your Own Guru series. I met Tiffany as a contestant on Prosperity's Kitchen. Her mission spoke to me, as I hope it will you. Her commitment to helping young girls take ownership of their dreams is something we can all learn from as we strive to reconnect to our true voice and trust ourselves again.]
Think about a time in your life, around age five or so. Remember how you knew you could do anything you wanted? How you knew you could change the world?
You got excited, you were present, and you didn’t give a crap what anybody else thought.
But most of us lose it, to some extent, along the way. We let other people dictate what we’ll do with our lives. The kids that grow up and go on to rock the world are the ones that still have that passion as they grow older. They never lost sight of their awesome - or they reclaimed it in adulthood.
How do we reclaim our awesomeness? If we’ve lost it, do we even have time to get it back?
Follow these steps to be present again in your life, and embrace your awesome.
1. Allow yourself to feel pain. You’ve got to make that emotional connection, or it’s just not going to stick. Take some time for yourself one afternoon. Go someplace you really enjoy being and where you can concentrate, and bring a pen and paper with you. Start listing all the things you
wanted to do and be when you were little. List all the dreams you had. Big and small, crazy and doable. You’ll start to notice something: you’re getting a little not-so-fun gut feeling, you’re realizing the pure joy you had when you had those dreams. Determine that from this point forward, you will dream and you will help support others in their dreams. This is your little mourning period.
2. Dream those dreams and be a believer. My daughter and I believe in fairies. Sure, we’ve never actually seen them, but do you know how absolutely exciting things are when you believe in the possibility of them? Life is no longer seen through practical black and white glasses. There’s color and beauty and huge dreams and possibilities. Whatever it takes, dream. Write it down each day. Make a vision board. Keep those dreams alive and start looking at the world from that vantage point.
3. Help someone else dream. This might be your spouse, child, friend, neighbor. It doesn’t matter. When you help someone else dream, you get caught up in those happy feelings. It’s no longer about you, but how you can help that person realize their dream. When you’re in this spot, you start dreaming again yourself.
Technology, books, mentors are very useful, but to get started with anything in your life, you first need to check-in with yourself. You’ll see the untapped potential there.
I’d love to know: what were your childhood dreams? What are your big dreams now? Let me know in the comments below!
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Tiffany Manley helps girls realize that they can find all they need to sparkle and shine within themselves. She uses education appreciation, career exploration, & confidence construction to help girls realize they can dream gargantuan dreams - and that they can achieve them. Her website is a collection of resources for boosting self-confidence in young women (and their moms!), homeschooling, and more. You can also connect with Tiffany on twitter.
[Note: This is day 12 of the Be Your Own Guru blog series. Today's video offers you an opportunity to think about how perception works in real time, and how living your life according to your own perceptions can be both a blessing and a curse.]
We all walk through life with preconceived notions about our world.
We call them beliefs.
Often, these beliefs color every interaction we have - without us even realizing it.
If you carry a belief that strangers are dangerous, you'll behave differently than if you were raised to be cordial to strangers.
Neither belief is inherently good or bad. Neither belief guarantees a positive or negative outcome.
In the video below, you'll see a piece of paper. What color is it?
That question seems simple enough, right? I mean, you can look at it and easily see that it's pink, right?
Clearly, anyone with a fully functional ocular device can tell it's pink. Right?
Well, it all depends on what side of the paper you're standing on.
In the video, I challenge you to consider (more…)
by Joy Holland
[Editor's note: This is day 9 in the Be Your Own Guru series. Joy's post is a timely reminder that once we have answers from our life, we need to act on them - by fully living our best life.]
I like to write in reflection, using my personal example as something you can tap into if you wish, instead of a “lecture” format. I believe there are myriad ways to move, and I love learning from the variance in those ways. This is simply one way for you to consider.
“Be Your Own Guru” implies a depth of wisdom, knowledge, and life experience. Simply reading this sentence feels restrictive, constrained. For how do I know I am acquiring “enough” or the “right” knowledge and experience? Is wisdom based upon the amount of years I have lived or what I have lived in those years? How shall I earn the trust of myself to be my guru? All of this feels very external, and out of my control—I am striving, reaching, vesting energy to, something outside of myself.
When I go beyond what I know to what I feel, I (more…)
[Note: This is Day 7 of the Be Your Own Guru blog series. When you've been strapped to baggage for years, sometimes it feels like you'll never shake it Today's post gives you a context and hopefully some inspiration to begin shaking your own baggage.]
I've never been the tiniest supermodel on the runway. I don't think I'm ugly (I've done a lot of work on my self-esteem over the years), and still I recognize that my weight has never been where it's "supposed" to be. As a young child, I was the tallest kid in class. When the boys started passing me, I quickly became the "biggest" kid in other ways. As I got older, I tried lots of things to lose the excess baggage, but it was just exactly that.
I'm what you might call an "emotional eater" - though I couldn't find a strict definition among the various eating disorder websites that matched how I deal with food. Essentially, when I'm stressed I eat... and eat... and eat. The same for when I'm sad, or even really happy. Instead of people, my emotional extremes have always been met with food of one kind or another. (more…)
by Stu
[Editor's Note: This is Day Three of the Be Your Own Guru blog series. Stu gives us a clear understanding of What a guru really is - and where to find yours today.]
I never thought much about "Gurus" until I was in school. I had a teacher that would tell us entertaining stories about her retired teacher. They would always end with, what I found to be, the strangest comment: "I'm on a never-ending search to find my new Guru." I would think, Hmmm... being in a school, you would be surrounded by gurus, right?"
I was right... but I found that out later, at the bottom of a rabbit hole.
Anyone on a path to wisdom, to finding the secrets of life, has come across the notion of a Guru. We inevitably hear about this Guru, that Guru, or even "my" Guru. It conjures up images of a half-in-this-world-half-not levitating apparition. But who is your Guru? ... and what exactly IS a guru?
It's insane to ask that question!
A Guru is someone who has the answers to your questions, possesses a wisdom of unfathomable proportion, one with knowledge not of this earth. Sounds fantastic! But...
Can there possibly be one person with all and total knowledge? Can one person know the right and perfect path for every other person? No matter your belief system, possessing all knowledge = not being human... or being nailed to a cross. So what do they have... these "Gurus"? (more…)
by Kadena Tate
[Editor's Note: On day two of the Be Your Own Guru Series, Kadena Tate helps us get clarity on embracing our own definition of success - even when others think it might be a little crazy.]
Crazy! Everyone offers a different brand of crazy. The question is “How can you unleash your brand of crazy in a manner that touches hearts and expands minds?” In my experience, it is easy once you embrace three beliefs as the foundation of your life and work. The three beliefs are actually quotes and that have blessed my life and my brand:
First up is a quote by the late martial artist Bruce Lee “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine.”
Second is a quote by the poet Ms. Maya Angelou “When people show you who they are, believe them.”
Third is a quote by an unknown author. It reads “When you believe in your dreams, they may come true, but when you believe in yourself, they will come true”.
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee
When you finish reading this article, you will have learned that you must be your own guru. It will be extremely difficult to achieve any level of success if you crave the advice and opinions of others. It is essential that you look within and see only worth, value and goodness. Looking in the mirror and saying things to yourself like “I’ll never be, do or have enough”, is a sure-fire recipe for failure. It will be nearly impossible to assemble your gifts, talents, strengths, abilities and the lessons learned from your life experiences into marketable and monetizable products and services if you are running here and there asking everyone “What do you think?” (more…)
[Editor's note: This is the same post I began the last series with. It may seem like a crappy way to title the start of this series, but I want to jump in and shake your snow globe right away. Remember, I've seen the posts that are coming up, and our guests have put out some amazing ideas. I have to kick things off in an equally awesometastic way. So here goes...]
While working with a client – a six-figure leader in her company, she said “I’m nothing special.”
“That’s right.” I said. “There’s nothing any more special about you than anyone else. There’s also nothing less special about you than anyone else.”
Believe it. That’s where strength and confidence comes from. (more…)
"Why do you blog so much?'
It was a valid question. And I tried to be open to where the truth laid within me.
Silence.
Not because I was unwilling to answer, but because the tears started choking me.
I mungled my way through some explanation about how it's an outlet for me to talk to people in the hopes that what I'm sharing will actually help someone.
Because that's where all my hope lies: that the crap I endure from day to day (and the good stuff, too), will somehow help someone else have a better time of it while they're on this rock we call Earth.
My coach and I have a deal: I am ruthlessly honest, and try not to go against everything she says (since I'm an 8 according to the Enneagram), and she plays it straight and "spicy" with me - never letting me off the hook for something. She helps me see my world through different eyes (a good coach is NOT a 'yes man'!).
Most of the time I love her, but in this very bare moment, I'm feeling cornered, and really want to hate her for a minute.
I guess it's a good thing she's also my friend.
"Well, maybe it's not serving you to do a blog series."
My "yeahbuts" start emerging, and we have a nice deep discussion about profitability, giving too much away, and finding the patterns in my offerings.
It was probably one of the most difficult (and necessary) conversations in recent memory, complete with stamping my feet and an "I don't wanna" at least once (okay, maybe twice) during the call. Especially since the thing I didn't tell her was that this series felt truly divinely inspired as a way to open up to my more spiritual self... that piece of my True Self that has been lurking and shimmering in the background for so many years.
All at once, I felt like it was an affront to a very spiritual decision I had made, to create a very public, very spiritual thing (at least for me at this stage in my journey), that I felt called to do in a matter of service, to you.
Who ever "you" may be. And that was precisely the point my coach was making (and I needed to hear it).
My business, as of late, has been a hodge podge of all-0ver-the-map stuff. Quite frankly, that's the way my life's been, too, for so many years, that I'm not sure I know another way of being.
"What is it that you do, Lisa? What is the theme?" she prods.
At this point, I really just want her to tell me because I'm tired. Funny how that works.
I got pouty and stamped my feet (okay, that's not the beautiful part). And in exasperation, it poured out of me:
"I'm so sick and tired of hearing the excuses! From clients, from would-be clients, from people who've never even tried. People are so much more capable than they believe, but their excuses get in the way. Why can't they just see that?"
Or something like that. Seriously, I felt like I was channeling that answer from either some place way beyond me, or some place deep within me - which is probably the same place if you examine it truthfully.
In order to get to the truly delicious stuff, I had to be willing to do the hard work of listening to what I didn't want to hear.
You've sometimes got to do the thing you don't like, because it's good for you. I've done this before, so I'm no stranger to it. I'm starting to think it's part of the truth of life.
"Before the truth 'sets you free,' it tends to make you miserable." - Richard Rohr
After conversing with my coach, I had the the angel/devil discussion going on in my head. One telling me to bag the series, the other telling me to tell her to get bent and do the series anyway.
Neither happened.
One thing I'm continuing to learn on my impatient journey is the power and value of being willing to wait - which is still incredibly painful and difficult for my forward-motion-craving self.
So I sat in the space between those two options for a day.
The series did go on, and I did not tell my coach to get bent.
Because I needed to hear that perspective. I needed to be willing to let those words fall into my brain and swim around. I needed to be willing to check back in with myself and face the possibility of cranking out a useless blog series, and ask myself if I was still willing to do it anyway.
And yes, dear reader, this series was one of those things I couldn't NOT do.
Because in my conversation with my coach, for the first time in my adult life, I fell into complete resonance with what I feel like I'm supposed to be about in the world (more on that in a future post), and got even more clarity about the doing of it.
For someone like me, that's a big deal.
Which brings me to today's prompt for your consideration:
I mean really willing. Like, "I don't care if it hurts, or is hard, at least I'll be feeling something real for a change." THAT kind of willing. We don't always enjoy parts of the journey. Heroes face very challenging opponents, get banged around a bit, and I've never once seen that happen and have the hero say "Hot Damn! That was fun! Let's do it again!"
No, being willing to throw yourself into the fray is tough stuff, my friend.
But it is where you meet your True Self. It is where you learn what you're really made of. It's where the milquetoasty among us lose out and stay with their pablum, never knowing their true capabilities.
It's not always rocky, but I can pretty much guarantee there will be some rough spots along the ride. So the first question you must ask yourself is "Am I willing?"
Are you willing to struggle for a purpose - rather than needlessly?
Are you willing to stand in the raging waters and feel them rush about you - maybe even push you around a little until you get your bearings?
Are you willing to hear what you don't want to hear because it's good for you and will help you more than any "yes man" ever could?
If so, you just might meet yourself along the way.
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If you're ready to dig into the heart of what really motivates you, eliminate self-sabotage, and live an inspired life, consider enrolling in an upcoming "Essential Why Workshop" and build your own Noble Empire.
My husband and I were grocery shopping yesterday. That's a rare occurrence. Usually, it's just one of us navigating the aisles of the store. But yesterday was our first day back from vacation, and we had to return the rental car, so it just made sense to get the shopping done on the way home. We're so practical like that.
In the store, I saw this card. Normally, I'm not one to take a picture of a greeting card, but this one really struck a chord with me. First there's the lovely blue butterfly. My eye is instinctively drawn to anything that is electric blue in color, and the butterfly is a powerful symbol of transformation (my friend Teresa wrote a great article about butterflies and transformation here).
Then, there's that sentence. A sentence that bothers me in all the right ways. One of my core beliefs is that we all have a unique gift that we were put on this earth to share with our world. As a creative entrepreneur, sometimes it's easier to see that we have a gift. But in truth EVERYONE has a gift. We all have a Divine purpose, as far as I'm concerned. Too many of us, however, have that purpose smothered, buried, or otherwise silenced. We become like that masterpiece collecting dust in the attic that I've talked about before. (more…)