Are you being a doormat in your business?
Do you constantly put everyone else's needs ahead of your own?
If so, you're not alone. This week, we're focusing on one way to mitigate the 5 core symptoms of underearning: learning how to say "no" with class and authenticity. This is the third in a series of videos this summer about overcoming the cycle of underearning.
As a mom and recovering pleaser, I have struggled with this issue personally for YEARS. This week's episode shares some examples and word choices you can swipe to help you practice saying "no" with class and confidence before the moment strikes. I also share an important warning about the tricky way your "no" can turn into an unwanted "yes" or a straight-up lie if you're not careful.
Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments. Your insights may spark a conversation that helps someone else!
Mentioned in this episode:
If you haven't already accessed this week's bonus content, you'll want to do that here. Not a member yet? It's free! When you register for email updates, you also get access to episode transcripts, worksheets, and other downloadables!
Fashion jewelry from Kerianne at FancyBargain.com. Tell her you saw her bling on Creative Freedom!
Video clip/song: "Yes" by LMFAO
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
This is Season Four, Episode Four. Where we talk about how to say "no" with class and authenticity. Got someone who wants to pick your brain, ask you for a discount, or - GASP! - work for exposure? Need a classy way to say "um, no thanks!" without burning bridges or sounding like a jerk? You need this episode!
Being a doormat in your business sucks, quite frankly. It's also potentially a sign of co-dependence, which is one of our 5 Symptoms of Underearning. If you're saying yes to everyone and everything except yourself, it's time to re-wire your brain. Saying "no" is sexy, y'all, and today, I'm sharing tips to help you say it with class & authenticity. This is the third episode in a Summer-long series that deals with different aspects and triggers for underearning.
Need help with that whole "re-wiring" thang? Look no further than Overcoming Underearning for Creative Entrepreneurs. In just 5-weeks, you could build the clarity, confidence, and courage you need to finally beat the cycle of underearning once and for all. Plus, you get individualized email support throughout the program, so you're never alone in this journey.
Download Season 4 Episode 4 | iTunes | Anchor | Stitcher
If you’re listening to just the podcast, you’re only getting about a third of the deal. Catch the Creative Freedom web series or join me on Facebook on Fridays at 5:30pm Central time for a LIVE Q&A about the week's topic.
3:08 - The alternative to the vicious cycle of deadbeat clients and doing work you hate.
04:32 - The "Beef Stew" problem that shows up when you don't stand your ground and say "no".
9:00 - The importance of honoring boundaries
12:06 - What to say when someone is trying to talk you down on your rates
16:00 - The importance of saying "no" and trusting others to do their own work.
19:16 - The greatest lesson my Mom ever taught me.
24:03 - What happens when the desire to "not lose" ruins your plan to succeed (and how to fix it)
Still trying to decide what to say yes to, and what to say no to? There's an exercise in the Rising Tide this week for you to try.
Not a member? It's free! Click here to join our Rising Tide to get email updates, transcripts, and bonus downloadables only available to members.
Mentioned in this episode:
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
This is Season Four, Episode Three. The overwhelm episode. Overwhelm is a common trap for creative entrepreneurs caught in an underearning cycle. What can you do when you're knee deep in a project (or multiple projects) and have to keep going? Lisa shares what she learned running her first (and only) 10-mile foot race about how to keep momentum when you get overwhelmed.
This is the second episode in a Summer-long series that deals with different aspects and triggers for underearning. If you want to take this learning deeper, consider joining Overcoming Underearning for Creative Entrepreneurs.
Download Season 4 Episode 3 | iTunes | Anchor | Stitcher
If you’re listening to just the podcast, you’re only getting about a third of the deal. Catch the Creative Freedom web series or join me on Facebook on Fridays at 5:30pm Central time for a LIVE Q&A about the week's topic.
01:06 - How running The Crim (as an overweight 26-year old) gave me a new perspective on dealing with overwhelm.
03:38 - The importance of a finish line in a race (and your work).
07:12 - The "Heartbreak Hill" of overwhelm, and how to get from the start to the finish through even the toughest part of your "race" - even if it's not sexy.
12:15 - Why running together is a different race than running alone, and how that impacts the way you deal with overwhelm.
17:11 - The reasons the 3 creative types can't give up control or accept help - and how to see things differently.
20:14 - The art of delegation - it may not be what you think it is.
Download the delegation worksheet in the member area
Not a member? It's free! Click here to join our Rising Tide to get email updates, transcripts, and bonus downloadables only available to members.
Mentioned in this episode:
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
[Note: This is another excerpt from my forthcoming book "Creative Freedom" - which I'll be sharing in full with participants at Creative Freedom Live. Seats are going fast - we've got about 5 spots left. If you want one, it's time to get moving and get registered!]
In all my years as both a creative entrepreneur and a coach for other creatives, I've watched plenty of people rise and fall. From one-hit wonders to big-shot internet marketers, some have staying power while others go stale faster than an open bag of potato chips in Michigan's muggy Summer weather (trust me, it's bad!).
It's something that's fascinated me for years. We all know someone that we think doesn't deserve the spotlight they have. You may be more talented than they are, and yet they're the ones with all the attention. Sometimes they're slimy jerks, who've manipulated their way to the top, and other times, they're just "in the right place at the right time" because they've got connections you don't. And then there are the truly amazing superstars that give us hope, inspire us to go after our dreams, and become our role models on our creative journey - the ones who we believe deserve all the kudos and accolades they receive.
Regardless of HOW they rose to prominence in their field, they've worked hard to get there - even if the work was less than ethical.
But there's something I've found that all these people have in common - whether they're good-hearted, wonderful people or slimy, manipulative baddies. In fact, there are 4 must-have skills and traits that every single one of them have in common - regardless of their creative type. Without them, it becomes nearly impossible to achieve the success and longevity you desire as a creative entrepreneur.
This one seems obvious, right? But clarity is very nuanced. What exactly do you need to be clear about?
For one thing, a creative entrepreneur need to be clear on who they are. My friend, Tajci Cameron was an international pop music superstar and she bagged it all because they were trying to cram her spirit into a mold that didn't fit the powerful, thoughtful, change-making woman she was becoming. She came to the states with just a few dollars, knowing no one. Decades later, Tajci's created her own path - one that's given her more joy and fulfillment than she ever had in her "glory days" when they made a doll in her image.
Tajci has one of those dolls on a shelf in her office. I was envious when I first saw that doll. But then it occurred to me that the doll represented just one small piece of who Tajci really is. She's so much more than a doll in a box. No box could ever contain the boundless light, life, and joy she brings to her fans (and the world) through her music, stories, and video journal. Tajci's found a way to stay true to who she is and still create in ways that are meaningful to her.
In addition to being clear on who you are, you need to be clear on how you want to show up in the world. You also need to be clear on your message and why it matters to your audience. These answers come with time and practice, but they are crucial to having staying power as a creative entrepreneur. Tajci could have given up years ago, but she knew that music was her path.
"Throughout my journey," she says, "knowing there was someone out there who could hear my voice and my songs gave me a sense of being heard, accepted, understood and loved... I am a singer/songwriter and passionate about my music, I use it to express myself and give voice to my soul- as free as I am courageous to let it be."
It takes guts to face regular rejection of your work - and not see it as a personal rejection. It takes guts to step out on faith and do something you've never done before. Yet courage is one of the biggest elements sorely lacking in so many talented creatives. When I was a kid, I was told to be offended if someone ever said I had potential. "It means you're not living up to it."
For better or worse, Justin Bieber's got courage. In a 2009 interview, Bieber recounts how he met Usher:
"Usher happened to roll up in his Range Rover. I ran up to him, and I was like, 'Usher, I love your songs. Want me to sing you one?' The politest possible way he could say no, he did. ... I took the hint. I didn't get to sing for him: He had to run into a studio session."
Kids are often the most courageous among us, and Bieber was still a kid at the time of this chance meeting with his idol. He didn't let that stop him. He knew this might be the only chance he had to meet or talk to Usher, and he took that chance. It didn't seem to pan out at first, which is more common than you might think. But thanks to a little help from his support team (we all need one), Justin did get that chance after all:
"He actually watched my videos — after my manager got to talking to him — and was like, 'I should have let this kid sing,' and flew me back to Atlanta where I got to sing for him in a proper setting."
You've got to have the courage to own your message and speak it into the world - in whatever format your Great Work "speaks". You've got to have courage to consistently show up as your true self - warts, sparkles and all, as I like to say. You've got to be willing to be unpopular, and sometimes borrow someone else's courage for yourself. Stephen King's book Carrie was rejected so many times he threw it in the trash. But his wife was courageous enough to dig it out of the trash and not let him give up.
You've also got to be courageous enough to admit and own your mistakes and make amends.
Courage creates opportunities for practice - which is how you build confidence. Confidence to nurture your message, nurture your audience, and nurture yourself. It's the difference between being a Freshman and a Senior in high school. My physics class had students from all grades in it. Sure, I was smarter than some of the Seniors in that class, but when we left the classroom, they were the ones exuding more confidence in the halls. They knew who the best teachers were, which ones to avoid, and the underclassmen looked up to them, aspiring to be them in many cases.
When you've been at the game for a while, you know the rules, you know where you can bend them and where you have to press on through the hard stuff. You know what to avoid, what to accept, and what you can change. You know the difference you can make. That's the difference between courage and confidence. Courage comes from facing the unknown while confidence is built through knowing.
Confidence allows you to say no with grace and yes with enthusiasm and know when things are or are not a good fit for you. Confidence gives you a greater ability to trust the process, trust your team, and make strategic decisions that benefit you in the long term even if they're not so great for you in the short term. Many times, when working with clients, this is the piece that snaps together the fastest, once we've got their courage issues handled.
Confidence is NOT the same as arrogance. Arrogance is confidence in your own infallibility. No one is perfect. Arrogance drinking your own Kool-Aid and believing your own hype. Don't fall victim to it.
Here's the kicker. Ya gotta have more money coming in than going out. Toni Braxton is the poster child of this issue. After filing bankruptcy, she worked her way back and launched a self-funded stint in Vegas. Just after she renewed her contracts, she was diagnosed with medical conditions that kept her from keeping her commitments. She filed bankruptcy again, this time knowing she never be able to perform at her peak again. "I'm definitely on a budget," she said in a 2012 interview.
Where's the money coming from? Where's it going to? What do you have set aside or saved up for the unexpected? You can run on credit for a while, but, like Braxton, it'll eventually come back to bite you. The sooner you can get in the black and stay there, the better off you'll be.
I talked about all this in today's Facebook Live. Here's the replay:
Every day, we're tasked with thousands of decisions.
How many? Well, Cornell University researchers said we make about 226 decisions just on FOOD in an average day.
The total number for adults is somewhere in the range of 35,000 decisions a day. Many of them are impulsive, and logic-driven (pro/con, etc.), but that's STILL a lot of remotely conscious decision making each and every day of your adult life.
Kids only make about 3000 decisions a day. Ahhh, those were simpler times, right?
Here's a decision making tool that I've used for myself and my clients for years now - one that gets immediate results and gives you clarity when you've probably been feeling stuck on something for a while, maybe even overwhelmed at the prospect of having to choose from several equally appealing (or unappealing, as the case may be) options.
This is just one of the tools you'll be working with in Your Breakout Year - my summer workshop for creative entrepreneurs. This program is designed to help you map out AND implement a clear path to a six-figure annual revenue stream.
THAT piece is the idea/concept/decision that holds the most energy for you, so that's where you need to act first (yes, even if you don't WANT to, which is another thing altogether).
The brain is a funny thing. When we take something out of one modality into another, our brain gets to work on the problem in a different way. By changing the way you assess the situation (from emotional or logical to visual), your brain has a new way of looking at the problem. The old block (which is probably a conflict between emotional and logical) is interrupted and you're able to make a decision so that you can move forward.
Often times, it doesn't matter what you decide, only that you finally make a decision so that you can get momentum again. So even if you "randomly" select a paper ball, you've made a decision and can move forward.
If you're a tactile processor, you might ACTUALLY write each option on a piece of paper and throw them on the floor. But then you've got a lot of cleaning up to do, which is totally NOT my jam. 🙂
Like I said, the messy room technique is is a powerful tool that's quick and easy to use to get clarity now, and get moving again.
Whether you're starting from scratch, been hobbling along at this for a while, or you're ready to expand and add a new revenue stream to your creative business, Your Breakout Year is the exact process I've used with clients - for over a decade now - to help them get clear on what really matters and build out a business model that gets them there faster, with less hustle, and more ease.
Courses and classes alone don't get the job done. You'll just end up with a lot of information and zero implementation. This is an implementation-heavy program because I believe that if you do the work, you'll get results. So doing the work is baked into the program. No "learn now, implement later" in Your Breakout Year. Implement as you learn, decide what works and what doesn't, cut the fluff, and see real financial results in your business.
There are still a few spots left for early bird pricing, and a 4 installment payment option to make it budget friendly.
If you're ready to find your right audience and make good money doing what you love without selling your soul, join me for Your Breakout Year.
This week I had an AMAZING photo shoot that's been several months in the making. I knew when I landed in Nashville, starting over would take up a good portion of my first year here. I also knew that I had projects that still needed to move forward: I've been sitting on Creative Freedom for a while now, and The Damn Whippersnappers have promised to visit this summer for a recording session. So with a new book and new music in the works, of COURSE I needed to get the website redone.
Only, I didn't know anyone in this town, so I had no idea how long I'd have to wait, how much it would cost, or anything. Luckily, my best friend, Google helped me out. I met Emily, a wardrobe stylist from Effortlesstyle here in Nashville. She came over, looked at my closet and said "let's just start from scratch, okay?"
hee. hee.
While I know how to clean up, I've never been at the bleeding edge of style, and I told her that. My closet is full of black, black, and more black - with a splash of solid color here and there. So I gave her a budget and she went to work. A week or so later, we met for the fitting. There was really only one piece I couldn't bring myself to like. Everything else was wonderful - and a lot of it I wouldn't have picked for myself. Like this floral top. When I first looked at it, all the voices in my head took a swing at me:
"Oh, you're too big to wear white!"
"That floral print is just going to draw all kinds of attention that you don't want."
I swallowed hard when she showed it too me. I knew Emily could sense my reluctance. "Just try it on." she politely insisted.
I did. We found a keeper.
I had just raised my threshold of belief around what was possible for my wardrobe. Emily's a professional that's been doing this for years. Despite that, it was hard to trust her at first because I didn't know her. I didn't believe she could style a plus-sized momma like me.
Luckily, she made it easy to like her, and her ensemble choices were on point, so trust came quickly.
Which was good, because the hair and makeup artist I had originally asked to do the shoot booked herself another appointment and was unable to make our shoot date. It wasn't her fault. I was trying to coordinate all the details myself, and things didn't come together. Frantic, I asked Emily if she had any suggestions.
Panic turned to relief, but I had no idea how much I'd be paying for TWO people instead of one.
I swallowed hard again, and just trusted the process.
I arrive at Emily's house on the day of the shoot for hair and makeup. Mind you, two total strangers are about to have their way with my head. The ONLY thing keeping me from not showing up is the commitment I made to my photographer, Ashley.
That, and I trusted Emily. She hadn't steered me wrong yet, so I figured she wasn't going to start now.
I knock on the door, walk in, and I'm greeted by two of the sunniest, most enthusiastic women I've ever met. Both hard-working artists, both incredibly talented. Both eager to make magic happen.
Why did I ever doubt Emily?
Within minutes they are both working on me: Angela at the front, Genia at the back. We're chatting, really connecting, and they're making it easy for me to trust them. But...
I don't even know how much time has gone by, I can't see a mirror, and I'm still too nervous to eat any of the snacks Emily's put out for us. I did manage to down a glass of water, because I kept telling myself "it's gonna be hot outside, you don't want to die of heat stroke!"
Still, I think I managed to keep my self-doubt to myself as we talked about building a business doing what you love, something I'm pretty passionate about. My fear was, hopefully, masked by my enthusiasm for profitable creative businesses.
When they finished, I snapped a quick photo of my glam team and off we went to meet Ashley at Cumberland Park. When I got in my car, I had all I could do to keep from crying. I looked GOOD! Like, I almost didn't recognize myself. I had a vision of what I wanted for the shoot, and even hired Duane "The Hair Fairy" Edlao to cut my hair before I met these ladies to make sure that it would do what we wanted it to do. But to see it actually come to life?
Whoa.
We headed off toward Nissan Stadium to meet Ashley for the shoot. This is the first time we've met in person, and she looks happy, so I'm feeling more relaxed at this point. She's got some ideas about how to get in all the wardrobe changes and make the most of our time together.
The first few pictures felt awkward to me - because my inner critic was having her way.
There was a couple sitting at a picnic table across the way. They both stopped and looked up as my entourage pulled up with all our gear. I joked about being famous, but inside I was a self-conscious mess.
Despite these women all being super talented professionals, my inner critic was having her way with me. I told Ashley to "just shoot everything" because I knew that candid moments would probably end up making the most "natural" shots, plus we'd get some behind-the-scenes shots, too, which would be great for me to share with my clients in A-club. In truth, I was just hoping that, if she shot everything, there might be something that I could use.
Good thing Emily was listening, because she took some great candids, too. Like the shot of Angela, above, touching up my face, or this one, which is quickly becoming one of my favorites.
When I saw the first photo, I knew I was in good hands and I could relax. That's when we had REAL fun!
We joked, got silly, and just enjoyed being together - creatives whose only agenda was to create. Make magic happen. That was all we had to do, and when we could really let loose and trust each other, poof! The magic was there naturally.
The rest of the hour-long shoot went by fast, and it really felt like we were a team - working together to tell a compelling visual story. I look forward to seeing the proofs that Ashley took. Here's a sneak peek from the back of Ashley's camera...
This photo shoot was a massive investment in the future of my company, and it would be easy to just stop there...
...But that would be the least important part of the story.
As the pictures started appearing, people on Facebook started asking me what the shoot was for. It was easy to say "new book, new album, new website," but that wasn't entirely true. It was also a "new me" of sorts.
In the past, I would have tried to DIY as much as possible and keep everything on the cheap - not to be efficient or save money (though those are the excuses I would have used), but because of my own self-worth.
I put at least ten times the money into this shoot than any other shoot I've ever done. I'm not saying that to brag. I still feel strange about it, to be honest. I tell you this because there was a time in my life where I didn't believe I was WORTHY of investing "that kind of money" in me or my dreams.
Some days, I still struggle with my worthiness.
My early photo shoots were courtesy of my kid, or good friends who were skilled with a camera. I actually hired a photographer and hair/makeup artist for my last shoot because I wanted to get some specific shots for the album. I was leery then about spending "that kind of money" on a project that had no guarantee of completion, let alone success. But I was so happy with the results that I used those pictures all over the interwebs for a couple of years.
This time, I had a team of three incredible women who had my back the entire time (four, counting my photographer!). They probably had no idea of the "who do you think you are?" trash talk my inner critic was laying on me. At least, I hope they didn't. I am thrilled that they made it SO easy for me to just be ME in front of the camera.
The next day, I was talking with one of my coaches about my book, online course, and live event all built around the foundation of Creative Freedom. One of the last things she said to me was about the pricing for my upcoming event. I've been in a holding pattern for WEEEEEEKS because I haven't been able to decide how to price it or how and when to offer the online version. I told her I feel confident that I could easily charge twice the price because I believe it'll bring a solid 5-10x return on investment, but I was keeping the intro rate low because I wanted to fill the program (totally an ego thing, by the way).
When she looked at my pricing and asked about my motivations, she reminded me that sometimes, when we offer discounts and low-ball our pricing, it doesn't actually empower our clients, because we're modeling a behavior that comes from a place of scarcity instead of abundance. She then asked me "what if, by lowering your prices, you're denying your clients from having the same experience you just had at your photo shoot?"
Eyes Opened.
If you've got a healthy relationship with money, this probably doesn't apply to you, but if you struggle with naming a price that feels right to you because your inner critic is asking "who will pay that?" - this could be helpful.
The answer to the "who will pay that?" question isn't found in the circle of people you've been begging to buy from you. The answer is found in the faces of the people who light up when you enter the room and say "where have you been all my life!?!?"
Sadly, most of us build our careers around the former and not the latter.
This is one of the reasons I encourage my clients to develop a $25,000 offer... not because anyone will ever buy it (though it does happen), but because it gets you thinking differently, so that when you offer something for $2k or $5k, you'll feel more confident around the real value you bring to your work.
What could happen (for you and your potential clients) if you just created and asked for the price you want without all the baggage attached?
Because it doesn't matter what price you pick, there will always be someone that can't or won't pay it. But there are also probably a few people who will.
Owning your dreams, without selling your soul. Finding yourself and building a life and business that works for who you really are and what really matters to you. Making good money doing what you LOVE (and all the ladies from my shoot love what they do). THAT is what Creative Freedom is about, and I can't wait to share more of this new evolution with you.
Oh, and tickets for the virtual workshop and online event will be on sale soon. If you're not already on my list, get there to be one of the first to know about it!
No sooner had I finished my lunch when the phone rang. It was my oldest.
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Not really, Mom. Aunt Dian died."
Less than an hour later, I was on the road to Michigan. 9 hours later, I'm crashing at my ex-husband's house for the night. That meant I wasn't able to have any studio recording time this week to film new episodes of Creative Freedom for you.
And that turned out to be an important business lesson I didn't want you to miss.
People are born. People die. Stuff happens in "the in between years." You leave a thumbprint on the lives of many people in those years.
As a creative entrepreneur, our work is often an extension of who we are. It's not like you can put it on the shelf at 5pm and call it a day. It follows you everywhere, like a toddler who just wants more Mommy time. It wakes you from sleep. It keeps you up at night.
So it can be hard to really step back and NOT work on your business in some form or another.
In theory, I suppose you could say that we never REALLY step away, since inspiration is everywhere. But taking an intentional break is important to restore your spirit. ESPECIALLY if someone close to you has died.
This week's Special Edition episode is me, after a good bout of ugly crying, explaining why I'm taking a short hiatus.
Taking a hiatus is a great way to get a fresh perspective. I was already planning changes and updates to the Incubator, A-Club, and my coaching program, but hadn't had the bandwidth to really consider how I wanted to handle it. This time away frees up my brain to work on all the "back burner" stuff that's been marinating. And the best part is that my brain handles that without my intervention. I can be focused on my family, my own self-care, and just being present to the grief and mourning that I need to process.
Even when you're not grieving, a hiatus can be helpful to clear your head and give you a fresh perspective on your life. Unlike a day off, a vacation or a retreat, this is an intentional abstention from work-related activities for an extended period of time - usually longer than 2 weeks. Television shows have an "off season" when they are on hiatus. It gives the writers a chance to prepare new content and the actors a chance to get away and focus on other projects. That's what this is, only much shorter.
You won't see me on social media much. There won't be any new blog posts, and the newsletter probably won't go out - any training you've signed u for will still go out as scheduled, and you can still take the free quiz and get your results right away. And I'm still here, I'm just taking a big step back for a couple of weeks while my heart heals.
But I'll be back, so if you've got a question you'd like to see me answer, contact me and let's add it to the list. In the meantime, hug your loved ones. In the end, they're everything.
I think it was my grandmother who first told me that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. I was going to her church for Easter Sunday, and, of course, I had to look my best. I was representing my family, I was showing up for God, and (probably most important to Grandma) her reputation was at stake.
It only made sense to put my best foot forward. I had to be well dressed, well groomed, AND well behaved. No pressure.
Then, maybe a year or two later, I heard it again, in a shampoo commercial.
So it's no wonder that those words strike fear into the hearts of many creative entrepreneurs when they attempt to bring their Great Work into the world (especially for the first time). One wrong move, one slip, and it's all down the tubes. Everything's over. Cash it in. We're done. Between that sentiment and the old saw about opportunity only knocking once, it feels like the stakes are incredibly high.
But are they really?
Do you really only get "one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment"?
Well, yes and no. Mostly no. Sir Richard Branson says that "opportunities are like buses; there's always another one coming." But there are things you can do to prepare yourself for the moments when opportunity comes a knock-knock-knockin' on your door. This week's episode explains.
Here's the "quick and dirty" summary from this week's episode:
Mike Michalowicz, a friend and author of the book Surge, explains that surfers can't ride every wave. They have to be able to get in front of it and be ready to stand up and ride. If the wave is too far away (or even too close up), they can't get in a good position to get up and ride. And if they chase every wave, they'd spend all day paddling and never get the chance to hang ten.
Waves are plentiful, so it's less about hitting every wave (or even finding the perfect wave), and more about being selective in the opportunities you take so that you can spend less time paddling and more time riding. Will you wipe out sometimes? Sure. But that's part of what keeps everyone from surfing: you have to be willing to wipe out a few times in order to catch the big wave.
What do you need to say "no" to, so that you can say "yes" to what really matters? Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments and be part of our Rising Tide.
If you need support, encouragement, and help bringing your vision to the world and preparing for your next opportunity, Accountability Club is now open for enrollment. Only a few seats remain, and I'd love to see you inside this community of doers. Our next training call is Feb 25!
Today is an important day for me. Not only is it the launch of Season 3 of Creative Freedom (cue the confetti!), it's also National Freedom Day. It's the day we commemorate the freeing of the slaves in our country. Were it not for this day, my father would never have been born and my family wouldn't exist. Most Americans are familiar with Black History Month, but this day was the very first day that paved the way for it.
Yes, it's sad that we need to set aside a special month to honor the achievements of blacks in the history of our country. Yes, more needs to be done to address the systemic problems that persist in our nation, but that's not what this episode is about. This episode is about the young boy who grew into the creative entrepreneur that would ultimately make this day possible. You may not know his name, but after today, you will.
Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments and let's rise together! If you're looking for a community of support and encouragement to help you bring your vision into being, join us in the Accountability Club, where I teach you how to build your dreams in a as little as an hour each day.
We're slowly recovering from the rollover last week. My son's doing better this week, but we're still not out of the woods. Thanks for all the kind thoughts and well-wishes. It really did make the whole week seem better.
Through it all, thankfully, I still managed to get the important things in my life and work done. How? I learned a very simple way to prioritize my day so that what's really important gets handled. No. Matter. What.
About a year ago, I shared a brief overview of The PEACE System in one of the first season episodes. The one hurdle that people keep bringing to me is the never-ending to-do list. Despite prioritizing everything, there's a LOT of to-do's that still aren't getting done.
This week, we're digging into why.
Warning: you may be stepping on a few toes when you do, but never fear! The Spice Girls are here to help you!
Inside The PEACE System, I talk about three different kinds of to-do's. By paying attention to the different kinds of to-do's on your list, you can get a better handle on what is keeping you from getting more of the right things done.
Must-Do's are activities that must be done AND must be done by YOU, in order to reap the benefit. Generally, these are what I consider IPA - Important Personal Activities, or Income-Producing Activities. The definitions of those terms (like so many of the terms I use) are loose, and open to your interpretation. Brushing your teeth is a must-do. It's not likely you're going to get someone else to do it for you, and if you don't do it, well, there are consequences. Within the Must-Do category, there are a couple of types of Must-Do's - Routine/preventative (like brushing your teeth, seeing your kid's class play, or doing client work, for example), and Emergency (car roll-over, in-laws decided to drop in, that kind of thing).
The irony of many Emergency Must-Do's is that they are often (but not always) the result of NOT doing the Routine Must-Do's. If you don't get your tires checked on schedule, you could end up with a blowout on the freeway which causes the car to roll over - and the subsequent trip to the Emergency room. Do not skip the Routine stuff just because it's unsexy, or doesn't seem urgent. Preventative maintenance is crucial in your life and business!
Want To-Do's are all those activities related to the fun things we really want to do - like taking a trip (or planning it), visiting friends, working on a hobby, reading, watching a movie, etc. These aren't things that move the needle on our business, and they're not necessarily Must Do's, but we really want to do them. Chaotic and Fusion creatives tend to have a long list of Want To-Do's, which can lead to resentment, anger, frustration, and other disempowering emotions when you can't find the time to do those things. This typically results in an "all or nothing" rampage where work on everything else stops until you can clear some of the Want To-Do's off your list. Like the day I refused to do any work and just binge-watched my favorite show on Netflix all day. Not productive, but I sure did enjoy myself - until I started feeling guilty about not getting any work done.
Should-Do's are the bane of humanity. And I don't say that lightly. Everything from the well-meaning insinuations of your friends and family ("you should really finish packing for your trip, sweetie!"), to the more overt accusations we throw at ourselves ("I should really get to the gym this week!"), Should-Do's are the things that we throw into our day without making them a real priority. In the end, you may find yourself accomplishing a lot of Should-Do's, but not moving forward on your most important priorities at all. You sure are busy, but you're spinning your wheels on unimportant tasks - or worse, waffling from "should" to "should" - like bouncing back and forth between email and facebook messages for ten or fifteen minutes, just to be "sure" you're not missing anything important - and not getting anything accomplished at all.
Not that I speak from experience, or anything (sigh).
It's easy to get stuck in a "should-do" loop, and the only way to break the cycle is to make a decision. If it's a real priority, put it in your calendar and act on it appropriately. If you're not sure if it's a priority or not, try using the Eisenhower Matrix to help you get clarity. If it's not a priority, don't pretend like it is - even to appease your family or friends. In reality, you're doing a disservice to yourself and those well-meaning loved ones. Instead, set and enforce clear boundaries around your priorities and your time. And...
Be willing to accept the consequences of the priorities you set. (Tweet This)
Some people will balk at your new-found decisiveness. After all, you've been training them to give you all this well-meaning advice for a while now. It may take time to get them on board with this new direction. Your biggest fans, however, will understand that this is something you've got to do to take control of your calendar and start gaining momentum toward that Noble Empire and inspired life you're creating.
Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments, and let's be a rising tide fo everyone. If you're interested in learning more about The PEACE System, be sure to get on the wait list, as enrollment re-opens this fall.