We have gotten such great feedback on the new season of Creative Freedom! Thank you! If you haven't seen the first episode yet, what are you waiting for?
Close your eyes for a minute and think about Katy Perry - you know, the strong-willed, powerhouse vocalist behind Roar and Firework. See her in all her glory.
Okay, now that you've got that image in your head, try to imagine her singing her edgy songs about... Jesus.
Yeah. I know. That was weird, right?
Well, Katy Perry started her singing career as a Christian artist. SERIOUSLY! She signed a record deal and released her first album in 2001 as "Katy Hudson" - her real name, btw.
It flopped. It took 7 years of trial and error before her second album made it to the airwaves and made Katy the candy-coated pop star we know today.
Whether you love her or hate her, she's got an amazing brand that's immediately recognizable in a niche that's unlike anyone else in the industry.
Wanna know how you can do the same thing?
This week, the podcast takes a deep-dive look at Katy and Shania Twain to show you how to carve out your own profitable niche in your industry. BOTH of them came from a musical world that was different than the one they ended up in. It required a little patience and courage to make the jump... and it made all the difference.
Check out the show to learn more.
Inside this episode, we're talking about:
Our Rising Tide Community has moved! If you're already a member, you can login and access your free downloads here.
Not a member yet? It's free! When you register for the Rising Tide, you also get email updates, the FREE learning library, and access to episode transcripts, worksheets, and more!
Special thanks to our Patrons for your continued support.
"Worse Things" is a parody of "There are worse things I could do", originally recorded by Stockard Channing for the motion picture "Grease". Parody lyrics by Lisa Robbin Young.
Theme music: “Welcome to the Show” by Kevin MacLeod, incompetech.com. Music licensed under creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
We are FINALLY back with a new season of Creative Freedom!
It has been a journey to get here, but this season is shaping up to be the best so far. We've also got a new feature this season - music videos! It's something I've been wanting to play with for a while, and I'm still scared out of my mind about doing them. I think it takes the opening to a new level, though, so I'd love to hear YOUR thoughts.
If you've only been listening to the podcast or watching just the video show, you're not getting the full meal dealio. I mean, the topics are usually the same, but we also do things that are unique to each format. We go deeper on the podcast, with more examples than we can squeeze into the video show. But the video show gives us a place to have more fun with the musical elements.
And, I haven't abandoned my writing roots, either! Since our last episode aired, I've added a bunch of posts on the blog - stuff that will never appear in on the show!
Why do I do this to myself? One, I'm a Fusion creative, which means I like to do a lot of different things. But also, we have a pretty diverse audience, and I want to do what I can to reach you where you're at. SO... we do a lot to bring you insights and inspiration in a variety of ways.
I'm also looking at bringing back the live Q&A. I know. I know. I don't recommend that everyone do #AllTheThings - especially not at the start. But as long as it's still fun for me, we're going to keep at it!
We kick off this season with a look at how to build a business that's true to you. You know... a business that keeps you from selling your soul! How do we do that?
T.A.D.A. - An acronym we developed to help you listen to what's really on your heart and bring yourself and your business into alignment (or back into alignment) with what's true for you.
Check out the show to learn more.
Inside this episode, we're talking about:
Our Rising Tide Community has moved! If you're already a member, you can login and access your free downloads here.
Not a member yet? It's free! When you register for the Rising Tide, you also get email updates, the FREE learning library, and access to episode transcripts, worksheets, and more!
Special thanks to our Patrons for your continued support.
"Be True To Yourself" is a parody of "Be Good To Yourself", originally recorded by Journey. New lyrics by Lisa Robbin Young.
Theme music: “Welcome to the Show” by Kevin MacLeod, incompetech.com. Music licensed under creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
This is Season Four, Episode Five. This one's all about the dolla billz, baby! Whether you've raised your prices in the last year or the last month, it could be time to raise them again if they didn't go high enough in the first place. Many creative entrepreneurs get emotional when it comes to price increases. So, what if there were an easy, external way to know that it's time to raise your rates?
Your wish is my command! Here are 11 external indicators that can help you determine if a price increase is right for your creative business. Need help communicating that price increase? Consider joining us for the Creative Freedom Guide To Overcoming Underearning, and build your confidence in changing your pricing!
Download Season 4 Episode 5 | iTunes | Anchor | Stitcher
If you’re listening to just the podcast, you’re only getting about a third of the deal. Catch the Creative Freedom web series or join me on Facebook on Fridays at 5:30pm Central time for a LIVE Q&A about the week's topic.
02:21 - Why working for free is problematic, and why you might be inadvertently "programming" people to ask you to work for free.
06:31 - How a client in an economically depressed community managed to raise his rates.
11:00 - When someone is playing "Moneyball" with you, it is time to raise your rates!
16:30 - The "tuna can" tactic that helps you raise rates without changing your current pricing.
19:07 - How to look at barter/trade differently.
22:00 - The power of a $25k offer.
Click here to join our Rising Tide to get email updates, transcripts, and bonus downloadables only available to members.
Mentioned in this episode:
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
This is Season Four, Episode Three. The overwhelm episode. Overwhelm is a common trap for creative entrepreneurs caught in an underearning cycle. What can you do when you're knee deep in a project (or multiple projects) and have to keep going? Lisa shares what she learned running her first (and only) 10-mile foot race about how to keep momentum when you get overwhelmed.
This is the second episode in a Summer-long series that deals with different aspects and triggers for underearning. If you want to take this learning deeper, consider joining Overcoming Underearning for Creative Entrepreneurs.
Download Season 4 Episode 3 | iTunes | Anchor | Stitcher
If you’re listening to just the podcast, you’re only getting about a third of the deal. Catch the Creative Freedom web series or join me on Facebook on Fridays at 5:30pm Central time for a LIVE Q&A about the week's topic.
01:06 - How running The Crim (as an overweight 26-year old) gave me a new perspective on dealing with overwhelm.
03:38 - The importance of a finish line in a race (and your work).
07:12 - The "Heartbreak Hill" of overwhelm, and how to get from the start to the finish through even the toughest part of your "race" - even if it's not sexy.
12:15 - Why running together is a different race than running alone, and how that impacts the way you deal with overwhelm.
17:11 - The reasons the 3 creative types can't give up control or accept help - and how to see things differently.
20:14 - The art of delegation - it may not be what you think it is.
Download the delegation worksheet in the member area
Not a member? It's free! Click here to join our Rising Tide to get email updates, transcripts, and bonus downloadables only available to members.
Mentioned in this episode:
Music: "Welcome to the Show" by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
[Note: This is another excerpt from my forthcoming book "Creative Freedom" - which I'll be sharing in full with participants at Creative Freedom Live. Seats are going fast - we've got about 5 spots left. If you want one, it's time to get moving and get registered!]
In all my years as both a creative entrepreneur and a coach for other creatives, I've watched plenty of people rise and fall. From one-hit wonders to big-shot internet marketers, some have staying power while others go stale faster than an open bag of potato chips in Michigan's muggy Summer weather (trust me, it's bad!).
It's something that's fascinated me for years. We all know someone that we think doesn't deserve the spotlight they have. You may be more talented than they are, and yet they're the ones with all the attention. Sometimes they're slimy jerks, who've manipulated their way to the top, and other times, they're just "in the right place at the right time" because they've got connections you don't. And then there are the truly amazing superstars that give us hope, inspire us to go after our dreams, and become our role models on our creative journey - the ones who we believe deserve all the kudos and accolades they receive.
Regardless of HOW they rose to prominence in their field, they've worked hard to get there - even if the work was less than ethical.
But there's something I've found that all these people have in common - whether they're good-hearted, wonderful people or slimy, manipulative baddies. In fact, there are 4 must-have skills and traits that every single one of them have in common - regardless of their creative type. Without them, it becomes nearly impossible to achieve the success and longevity you desire as a creative entrepreneur.
This one seems obvious, right? But clarity is very nuanced. What exactly do you need to be clear about?
For one thing, a creative entrepreneur need to be clear on who they are. My friend, Tajci Cameron was an international pop music superstar and she bagged it all because they were trying to cram her spirit into a mold that didn't fit the powerful, thoughtful, change-making woman she was becoming. She came to the states with just a few dollars, knowing no one. Decades later, Tajci's created her own path - one that's given her more joy and fulfillment than she ever had in her "glory days" when they made a doll in her image.
Tajci has one of those dolls on a shelf in her office. I was envious when I first saw that doll. But then it occurred to me that the doll represented just one small piece of who Tajci really is. She's so much more than a doll in a box. No box could ever contain the boundless light, life, and joy she brings to her fans (and the world) through her music, stories, and video journal. Tajci's found a way to stay true to who she is and still create in ways that are meaningful to her.
In addition to being clear on who you are, you need to be clear on how you want to show up in the world. You also need to be clear on your message and why it matters to your audience. These answers come with time and practice, but they are crucial to having staying power as a creative entrepreneur. Tajci could have given up years ago, but she knew that music was her path.
"Throughout my journey," she says, "knowing there was someone out there who could hear my voice and my songs gave me a sense of being heard, accepted, understood and loved... I am a singer/songwriter and passionate about my music, I use it to express myself and give voice to my soul- as free as I am courageous to let it be."
It takes guts to face regular rejection of your work - and not see it as a personal rejection. It takes guts to step out on faith and do something you've never done before. Yet courage is one of the biggest elements sorely lacking in so many talented creatives. When I was a kid, I was told to be offended if someone ever said I had potential. "It means you're not living up to it."
For better or worse, Justin Bieber's got courage. In a 2009 interview, Bieber recounts how he met Usher:
"Usher happened to roll up in his Range Rover. I ran up to him, and I was like, 'Usher, I love your songs. Want me to sing you one?' The politest possible way he could say no, he did. ... I took the hint. I didn't get to sing for him: He had to run into a studio session."
Kids are often the most courageous among us, and Bieber was still a kid at the time of this chance meeting with his idol. He didn't let that stop him. He knew this might be the only chance he had to meet or talk to Usher, and he took that chance. It didn't seem to pan out at first, which is more common than you might think. But thanks to a little help from his support team (we all need one), Justin did get that chance after all:
"He actually watched my videos — after my manager got to talking to him — and was like, 'I should have let this kid sing,' and flew me back to Atlanta where I got to sing for him in a proper setting."
You've got to have the courage to own your message and speak it into the world - in whatever format your Great Work "speaks". You've got to have courage to consistently show up as your true self - warts, sparkles and all, as I like to say. You've got to be willing to be unpopular, and sometimes borrow someone else's courage for yourself. Stephen King's book Carrie was rejected so many times he threw it in the trash. But his wife was courageous enough to dig it out of the trash and not let him give up.
You've also got to be courageous enough to admit and own your mistakes and make amends.
Courage creates opportunities for practice - which is how you build confidence. Confidence to nurture your message, nurture your audience, and nurture yourself. It's the difference between being a Freshman and a Senior in high school. My physics class had students from all grades in it. Sure, I was smarter than some of the Seniors in that class, but when we left the classroom, they were the ones exuding more confidence in the halls. They knew who the best teachers were, which ones to avoid, and the underclassmen looked up to them, aspiring to be them in many cases.
When you've been at the game for a while, you know the rules, you know where you can bend them and where you have to press on through the hard stuff. You know what to avoid, what to accept, and what you can change. You know the difference you can make. That's the difference between courage and confidence. Courage comes from facing the unknown while confidence is built through knowing.
Confidence allows you to say no with grace and yes with enthusiasm and know when things are or are not a good fit for you. Confidence gives you a greater ability to trust the process, trust your team, and make strategic decisions that benefit you in the long term even if they're not so great for you in the short term. Many times, when working with clients, this is the piece that snaps together the fastest, once we've got their courage issues handled.
Confidence is NOT the same as arrogance. Arrogance is confidence in your own infallibility. No one is perfect. Arrogance drinking your own Kool-Aid and believing your own hype. Don't fall victim to it.
Here's the kicker. Ya gotta have more money coming in than going out. Toni Braxton is the poster child of this issue. After filing bankruptcy, she worked her way back and launched a self-funded stint in Vegas. Just after she renewed her contracts, she was diagnosed with medical conditions that kept her from keeping her commitments. She filed bankruptcy again, this time knowing she never be able to perform at her peak again. "I'm definitely on a budget," she said in a 2012 interview.
Where's the money coming from? Where's it going to? What do you have set aside or saved up for the unexpected? You can run on credit for a while, but, like Braxton, it'll eventually come back to bite you. The sooner you can get in the black and stay there, the better off you'll be.
I talked about all this in today's Facebook Live. Here's the replay:
On Day One of the Creative Freedom Challenge, we're taking a hard look at the biggest reason you're still stuck in energy-draining work, instead of getting paid well for doing what you love.
And it's not what you think.
Most people think the reason they're stuck is because they haven't made enough money yet to make the leap. If you're just getting started and stuck in a day job, that may be true. More on that in a minute. You can be several years into your career as a creative entrepreneur and still find you've created a "job" for yourself, doing things that aren't fulfilling - like putting out fires or picking up dropped balls.
In truth, "not enough money" is not the biggest reason you've stuck with your "job" for so long.
Lack of clarity often shows up in one of two areas:
1. Who you really are and what really matters in your life and Great Work (that's what we'll cover today).
2. How you want to show up in the world (we'll cover that next).
Amy Oscar is a friend and colleague. We met at a conference back in 2010, and she was kind enough to write the cover quote for my book, "The Secret Watch." Amy's building a global following on the back of her book "Sea of Miracles." Her Soul Caller program has evolved from a weekly free twitter chat into a series of courses, programs and retreats. She also does private sessions as an intuitive guide and healer. Amy has thousands of fans and followers around the world (some of them pretty well-known), and yet, with all those clear signs that she was on to something, she still hadn't quit her day job.
For more than 15 years, Amy was an editor for a national women's magazine. She LOVED her job, but as her Great Work through Soul Caller started picking up steam, she still hadn't let go of her day job to focus on her Great Work. Here's what Amy told me:
"I sensed that I'd put an important part of my soul in deep freeze."
She then told me how it took her months to untangle what was going on inside her. Ultimately Amy realized, when she considered her job versus her Great Work, the truth so many creative entrepreneurs face:
"One was always going to have me hiding behind someone else's glitter cape. I didn't just have a message. It was MY message to deliver. So many people are telling this story and each voice matters. Each story resonates. We need them all. Mine was different and it had to be heard."
Making the choice to pursue your creative calling can be complicated. It's not always easy. That's why clarity is so important.
Clarity comes from accepting your truth with what I call ruthless honesty: no judgement. Just seeing the facts for what they are.
Here's how Amy described her watershed moment:
"I was afraid to stand alone. It was never about the money. It was about my willingness to trust the world to love me when it could see me. And not just as a cog in someone else's wheel... It's about the willingness to come out of hiding. To stand in the light and be seen loving what I love. Being what I am. Which doesn't fit into anyone else's idea of what I could or should be or how I might serve their vision. It's about the willingness to step into the image I hold inside of my own heart of what I am.
"I realized that if I was going to be happy - and live a fully engaged, fully present life - I wasn't going to live a normal life. And I finally accepted that. I quit my job because the Soul Caller work was more important to me than a paycheck."
Amy got clear on the life she wanted to live, the Great Work she wanted to bring into the world, and who she would become in the process. When Amy got clear on who she was and how she'd outgrown her day job, she was ready to embrace her "own message to deliver" and share it with the world.
Amy's truth is a common one: more than the ability to make good money at it, the real issue behind making the shift into creative entrepreneurship is a lack of clarity (and perhaps a fear of being really seen).
Look, if a guy can earn a living wage making youtube videos about playing video games or unboxing action figures, there's no reason that you can't get paid well to do what you love, too. But you have to have clarity on who you are and what really matters to you before you can stake your claim on your Great Work and share it joyfully with the world.
Then, you've got to show up that way consistently. Sure, try it on and see how your Great Work can not only serve others, but also yourself. Once you've got clarity on that, you've got to have the confidence to step up and own your message in the marketplace on a regular basis.
But that's the next part of our challenge. 🙂
Today, spend a few minutes thinking about what REALLY matters to you - in your life and work. What are your non-negotiables? When I work with clients, we use what I call the 5 Key Areas of Success as the model for defining success on your own terms. Here are additional resources to help you get more clarity on what really matters and how you want to show up in the world:
Believe it or not, you already ARE a success. It may not feel like it right now, but it's true. Success is a destination, not a journey, and you're already here. Everything you've done (or failed to do) has led to this moment. Until you have clarity on what success looks like for your unique situation, it's pretty dang difficult to feel successful.
If you want to get all the updates in the Creative Freedom Challenge, along with a copy of my Raving Fans Toolkit, you can sign up right here (that box at the top of the page works, too).
What resources would you add to this list? Share your comments below and let's be a rising tide for everyone!
This week, I'm in Nashville on a recon mission. Hubby and I are looking at possibly relocating, and Nashville is one of the towns on our short list. We booked one of those extended stay hotel rooms with a full kitchen, so it feels as much like home as possible. Which means I have a sink full of dirty dishes every night after dinner. 🙂
In the few days I've been here, I've scheduled multiple meetings, including an impromptu connection with Tajci Cameron (international performing artist and creator of Waking Up In America - here's a pic of us from last night's Music City Roots show). I've also created worksheets for this week's Creative Freedom Apprenticeship, had some pool time with the fam, read two books, and done a good bit of driving to look at various neighborhoods.
In short, we're very busy and highly effective. My husband has been sleeping in, watching TV, and his anxiety is visibly lessened. The kid is relaxed and easy to manage. Even though we've got a lot on our plates, we're navigating the week with aplomb, and really enjoying our time together.
There's a joke I sometimes hear about how people seem to get everything done just before leaving for vacation. Parkinson’s Law reminds us that work expands to fill the available time. Which means if you've only got 45 minutes to get "everything" done before you hit the road for a 9-hour drive to Nashville, you'll find a way to cram one last plate in the dishwasher so the sink is empty when you get home.
How is it we manage to get so much more done in so little time? And more importantly, how can you channel that kind of efficiency on a daily basis - not just in the 45 minutes before you have to leave town?
In order to really capitalize on this kind of energy, you need to understand two "laws" of human potential: Parkinson's Law and Yerkes-Dodson Law.
In high school, most of my classes were pretty easy for me. I was one of those kids that didn't need to study much, and most projects could be completed in a day or two before the due date. Instead of methodically planning out an easy approach to completing the project over the course of three or four weeks, I'd spend one night figuring out what I was going to do, and the night or two before the due date finishing the project. Looking at the school habits of my teenager and his friends, I know I wasn't the only person to behave this way. But I didn't understand why until I was much older.
As a kid, there was always something more interesting, exciting, or fun to experience which subjugated homework towards the deadline. I was frequently found finishing homework on the bus ride to school, because the bus ride was boring, and there was nothing else to do. So that was the excuse I gave when people asked why I procrastinated. It seemed to be a great explanation, until I understood these two laws.
Parkinson's Law compresses or expands time like a Jedi mind trick. In essence, it's about focus. If you carry yourself as if you only have a bus ride to complete your homework, you'll get more of your homework done in a shorter period of time - even if you're not on the bus. As an adult, I've come to love using a timer. Not only has it helped me get a better handle on how much time it really takes me to accomplish a task, it's also put a little pressure on me to complete projects within the time alloted. I could take all day to draft copy for a sales page, but if I give myself 45 minutes, I get it done because I have "fearsome focus." That's a phrase I picked up from Dave Lakhani's book "How To Sell When Nobody's Buying." By locking down my attention to ONE thing for a period of time, focus is high. Plus, the small amount of "pressure" I put on myself to do the best I can in the shortest amount of time, increases my performance... which is where Yerkes-Dodson comes in.
While a lot of people have heard about Parkinson's Law, fewer are familiar with the Yerkes-Dodson law, which states that we need a certain amount of mental stimulation to prime the pump on getting things done. But only to a point. when things get too stressful, or we're overstimulated, we shut down and our ability to perform the task at hand decreases significantly.
In the above scenario, the timer gives me a constraint, and puts some "pressure" on me to perform - to get stuff done. The pressure creates enough mental stimulation for me to stay engaged with the task, but not so much pressure that my mind melts down and leaves me sobbing and rocking back and forth in the corner of my office.
For me, the timer is great because if I need more time, I can always add more - so there's "pressure" that I can control. But the threat of the "DING" happening before I've completed my project is just enough pressure to keep my mind stimulated and motivated. It's like a boss giving me a deadline. I've learned that setting my own deadlines doesn't always keep me engaged, but having an externally driven deadline (clients waiting for a call, program release dates) gives me enough motivation to keep things moving... to a point.
Too much pressure, and I crumble.
Ever had a meltdown when your boss is standing over your shoulder? Doing even the most simple task becomes frustrating and difficult when you're feeling too much stress or pressure. My son was watching an episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Squidward had challenged Spongebob to learn everything about providing a completely high-end dining experience. Spongebob ended up unlearning everything else - including his name. So when he was asked for his name by the patron Squidward was trying to impress, Spongebob brokedown in a pool of worthlessness because he couldn't remember his own name. The whole charade fell apart.
Like so many things in life, "pressure" and "stress" are relative. Some people thrive with lots of deadlines, while others crumble if you look at them sideways. The trick to putting the Yerkes-Dodson Law to work for you is to recognize which types/levels of stress are motivating and which are debilitating. When I'm working with clients in the Creative Freedom Apprenticeship, I emphasize regularly that you have to understand what works for YOU in YOUR specific situation. One man's stress is another man's stimulus.
If my timer didn't allow me the ability to re-set it, or when my 45 minutes was up someone came in with a red pen to tear apart my work, my results probably wouldn't nearly be as good. Just like when I get home from Nashville, knowing the sink is empty is what really matters. If half the dishes in the dishwasher didn't get clean, I don't care. But if my Mother-in-law called to say she was coming over for tea, I'd be falling all over myself to get the dishes re-washed before she got there (and probably break a few along the way).
Yes, that's my personal baggage talking there, but I hope you see the point.
Creative entrepreneurs can often agonize unnecessarily about their projects. We lay in anguish for far too long about minor tweaks that just slow everything down.
"my website isn't finished because..."
"the new album's on hold until..."
"I don't have the right/enough..."
While I'm not a big fan of fail fast and often, I do believe we can often do more in less time if we'd just stop tweaking. Sometimes it's a case of perfectionism. Many times, it's a lack of proper motivation and perspective.
Marie Forleo has used what I call the "Oprah incentive" as an example of how to accomplish things faster. She says that if Oprah called and asked for a 3 minute video within the hour you wouldn't procrastinate. You'd get off the stick and get stuff done.
Sadly, that's a superficial assessment. In some cases, yes, you'd flip out your video camera and do the best you can. Sometimes, though, the pressure to perform would be too great. You'd choke up, feel way too overwhelmed and yes, you would procrastinate, because there'd be too much pressure on you.
It's easy to say "suck it up buttercup" but there's a reason why it doesn't always work that way. (tweet this)
So while it's true we can all get more done in less time than we typically believe is possible, it's still important to understand your own level of preparedness, focus, and ability to handle stress and pressure. The more pressure you can/want to take, the easier it will be to double your productivity. But everyone has the ability to accomplish even a small increase in productivity and efficiency by taking advantage of Parkinson's and Yerkes-Dodson.
They're like the Wonder Twins of personal efficiency.
Here are some specific ways you can customize your own efficiency plan and accomplish more of what really matters in less time:
1. Apply Fearsome Focus
Remove distractions - even if it's only for 15-20 minutes at a time. Turn off the phone, the email, the doorbell, and let people know you can't be disturbed. If we can do it for important phone calls, we can do it for our important tasks. Barring a real emergency, don't let other people's priorities become your own. Remember, you train people how to treat you based on what they expect from you and what you've come to accept from them.
2. Clarity is King
Know what you're going after and don't let other things get in the way during your period of focus.
3. Play DUMB
The beauty of D.U.M.B. goals is that the size and scope doesn't matter. Whatever you want to accomplish needs to be Do-able, Understandable, Meaningful, and Believable for you... regardless of whether or not other people get it. Just because I can sit and focus for 45 minutes doesn't mean you can. So focus for 3 minutes, or 3 hours... whatever floats your boat.
4. Apply Optimal Pressure
While this one won't always work (sometimes someone else will impose their own set of pressures and deadlines on you), when you can find your balance point between getting stuff done and falling apart, you'll find your peak performance zone. Just remember: too much pressure and you'll explode; too little and you'll be cramming to get your homework done on the bus ride to school.
5. Check Your Thermostat
Getting stuff done is as much about your attitude as anything else. When I worked in the high-pressure automotive industry, I juggled lots of projects every day with relative ease. Once I moved away from that environment and slowed my tempo, I recognized that I couldn't handle that much pressure all the time (nor did I want to). Likewise, when I go into project launch mode, I know that a certain amount of extra stress and pressure comes with the territory. That means your stress thermostat will likely change over time. Be present to and aware of that. Be willing to be where your at - without comparing yourself to someone else.
Remember, success is a destination and you are already there. What are the tools, strategies, and concepts that help you be most efficient and effective in the world? Share your ideas in the comments and let's help each other do more of what really matters.
She was sprawled out on the sidewalk, screaming bloody murder. The bike - a garage sale special (meaning there was no padding on the all-metal seat) - was still somehow attached to her.
She and I lived close to each other, and were about the same age, but I had no real interest in bikes when I was six. I wanted her to play dolls with me, but no. She was a tomboy through and through. And she really wanted to learn how to ride a bike.
Her parents bought her this scrap metal bike with what little money they had, took it home, cleaned it up with a bit of red spray paint, and after letting it dry, gave it to her.
She wasted no time. She hopped on (no training wheels), and took off down the neighborhood. I lived at the end of the street, so most of the kids used our house as the turnaround. I waited for her there.
She was no stranger to bikes. Most of the neighborhood kids had them and let her ride when parents weren't looking. Some with training wheels, some without. When this little girl climbed on her very own bike, she was a natural.
Until...
Still straddling the metal heap of a bicycle, but flat on her back, the girl was screaming bloody murder. Apparently, she hit a sidewalk bump where the concrete was broken up and the metal seat jammed her... in the... well, you know.
She lost control, the bike fell over, and she was sort of tangled up in it.
So much screaming. So much crying. I kept looking for blood, but didn't see any. Maybe she broke her leg or something. I thought for sure her folks were going to end up taking her to the hospital. Even her brother - who normally ignored his baby sister - set out to figure out if she was okay... or at least get the kid to stop crying and screaming.
Once they calmed her down, they realized that beyond the need for a padded seat, the only thing that was really bruised was her pride. So her father, in all his infinite wisdom, encouraged her to "stop crying like a baby and get back on the damn bike."
The little girl obediently climbed back on - after setting the bike back up and giving it a firm kick to show it who was boss. This time, instead of riding up and down the street, she practiced in my gravel driveway. She practiced turning, braking, and navigating the bike on "a bumpy road" as she called it. She even managed to teach herself to ride "standing up" so that the seat didn't get the best of her again.
She fell a few more times (gravel wipeouts - OUCH!), but under the watchful eye of her parents, she managed to get back up without shedding a single tear.
By dinnertime, she was racing one of the neighbor kids, giggling and playing as if she was a cycling pro.
Eat your heart out, Lance Armstrong!
A colleague of mine once shared a similar equation with me. She was using it to talk about the power of irresistible presence, and how, when these three elements are combined, you are more able to show up in a magnetic and authentic way.
The more I looked at her equation, the more truth I saw.
Success in anything can ONLY come when we have these three elements in proper measure. Without all three, you'll fall short in some way. Don't believe me? Let's look and see:
One of the most important things I've ever done for myself was develop The PEACE System. It helps me have crystal clarity on my priorities for any given day. Coupled with my Dreamblazing program, I've created my perfect solution to knowing exactly what matters most in any given moment. I have total CLARITY on what to do, and why.
After she fell, that little girl had clarity that her bike had a few issues, and that she needed more practice riding with it before she took it out onto the broken sidewalks of our ghetto neighborhood.
But clarity alone only helps you see the bicycle. It doesn't give you insight into how to actually ride it. Clarity says "I need to learn how to ride the bike." Confidence says "This is how one rides a bike."
Big difference.
You know what that means right? No? Here's the Urban Dictionary definition. CONFIDENCE comes from this space of knowing. When you've got clarity, you can make some decisions about what to do, and what not to do. You can even help other people make decisions based on what you know. As a coach, I am lucky enough to work with clients that need to make changes in their lives and business, but if all I did was spout off my knowledge, or tell them what to do, I'd be nothing more than a "sexual intellectual" that no one wants to work with. What's more, if I left my clients in that space, they'd never make any forward progress.
Confidence is the by-product of practice. Practice can only happen in a safe space. Like learning to ride a bike, there's always a fear of falling down, but training wheels and a steady hand on the back of the seat can make all the difference between riding down the street and never getting on the bike in the first place.
Confidence is built when the action you take is positively reinforced. When that little girl got back up on the bike, her parents stood by (safe space) and encouraged her progress. When her progress was reinforced, it gave her the confidence to know that she could ride this bike.
That little girl knew she could ride a bike - she'd done it before. She just needed to figure out how to handle the particular quirks of this bike. She quickly realized the seat would be an issue, so she needed to learn how to ride standing up. That would pretty much solve her "cushion" problem.
But knowing is only half the battle (GI Joe!)... or in this case a third of the battle. Because all the clarity & confidence in the world won't help you if you don't have the courage to do something with what you know.
For most people, if you've got courage, you've got confidence. COURAGE is the active piece to the "knowing" of Confidence. But sadly, people act with "courageous stupidity" all the time. You hear stories about someone accidentally setting their house on fire because they tried to kill a spider with a torch. Crazed drivers struck by road rage who speed up as someone tries to pass them - only to find out that person was a cop.
We all have something we're fighting for, something we believe in, something that in our bones we know to be true (that we'll defend to the bitter end). But without clarity (of what an appropriate response would be, for example), our courageous acts come off just plain arrogant or stupid.
This little girl could have thrown the bike to the ground in disgust and refused to ride it. After all, she "knew" she could ride a bike, and this one wasn't behaving properly. But because she also had clarity that this was the only bike her parents could afford, if she really wanted her very own bike to ride, she'd have to act differently.
Clarity says "I need to learn how to ride the bike." Confidence says "This is how one rides a bike." Courage says "This is me, riding this damn bike."
I'm leading a free workshop on Saturday March 14, 2015 to help you have more clarity, confidence, and courage in your life and business. If you're ready to learn how to create your own safe space to develop confidence and courage in your life and work, I hope you'll join me for this special, one-time-0nly workshop. You can learn more and register here. I'll also be sharing more about my Creative Freedom Apprenticeship and telling you how you could earn a scholarship to attend at no cost to you.