by Stu
[Editor's Note: This is Day Three of the Be Your Own Guru blog series. Stu gives us a clear understanding of What a guru really is - and where to find yours today.]
I never thought much about "Gurus" until I was in school. I had a teacher that would tell us entertaining stories about her retired teacher. They would always end with, what I found to be, the strangest comment: "I'm on a never-ending search to find my new Guru." I would think, Hmmm... being in a school, you would be surrounded by gurus, right?"
I was right... but I found that out later, at the bottom of a rabbit hole.
Anyone on a path to wisdom, to finding the secrets of life, has come across the notion of a Guru. We inevitably hear about this Guru, that Guru, or even "my" Guru. It conjures up images of a half-in-this-world-half-not levitating apparition. But who is your Guru? ... and what exactly IS a guru?
It's insane to ask that question!
A Guru is someone who has the answers to your questions, possesses a wisdom of unfathomable proportion, one with knowledge not of this earth. Sounds fantastic! But...
Can there possibly be one person with all and total knowledge? Can one person know the right and perfect path for every other person? No matter your belief system, possessing all knowledge = not being human... or being nailed to a cross. So what do they have... these "Gurus"? (more…)
by Kadena Tate
[Editor's Note: On day two of the Be Your Own Guru Series, Kadena Tate helps us get clarity on embracing our own definition of success - even when others think it might be a little crazy.]
Crazy! Everyone offers a different brand of crazy. The question is “How can you unleash your brand of crazy in a manner that touches hearts and expands minds?” In my experience, it is easy once you embrace three beliefs as the foundation of your life and work. The three beliefs are actually quotes and that have blessed my life and my brand:
First up is a quote by the late martial artist Bruce Lee “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine.”
Second is a quote by the poet Ms. Maya Angelou “When people show you who they are, believe them.”
Third is a quote by an unknown author. It reads “When you believe in your dreams, they may come true, but when you believe in yourself, they will come true”.
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee
When you finish reading this article, you will have learned that you must be your own guru. It will be extremely difficult to achieve any level of success if you crave the advice and opinions of others. It is essential that you look within and see only worth, value and goodness. Looking in the mirror and saying things to yourself like “I’ll never be, do or have enough”, is a sure-fire recipe for failure. It will be nearly impossible to assemble your gifts, talents, strengths, abilities and the lessons learned from your life experiences into marketable and monetizable products and services if you are running here and there asking everyone “What do you think?” (more…)
[Editor's note: This is the same post I began the last series with. It may seem like a crappy way to title the start of this series, but I want to jump in and shake your snow globe right away. Remember, I've seen the posts that are coming up, and our guests have put out some amazing ideas. I have to kick things off in an equally awesometastic way. So here goes...]
While working with a client – a six-figure leader in her company, she said “I’m nothing special.”
“That’s right.” I said. “There’s nothing any more special about you than anyone else. There’s also nothing less special about you than anyone else.”
Believe it. That’s where strength and confidence comes from. (more…)
More than half a lifetime ago, my grandmother was dying. Just a summer earlier, Grandpa was in the hospital during their 50th wedding anniversary party. While he made a full recovery, her health began fading as we went back to school in September. Over the course of the next few months, as winter blew in, it became clear that it would be her last Christmas with us. We just didn't know how few months we'd actually have with her. Before spring arrived, she was gone. (more…)
Next week, my children are home for Spring break. #CalgonTakeMeAway
Actually, they get a jump start on spring break this Friday, and my soon-to-be 7 year old will have a half day on Thursday.
Is this any way for me to get my work done?
We have yet to have a single week since 2013 began where both children were in school for the entire week. Between snow days, sick days, and school suspensions (*facepalm*), either one or both of them have been home at least one day every week since the beginning of the year.
Can you say FRUSTRATING?
I sure can.
So many ideas, so little time... (more…)
2013 started with the best of intentions. My goal is to record 300 songs before the year ends, and I'm well over 10% of the way there.
And yet...
It feels like this hugely daunting task right now. Like I'll never make it.
I know I'm in the thick of it. I know the year's only just begun. I also thought I'd be farther along by this time.
I mean heck, it's almost the end of the first quarter. By my math, that's 75 songs that need to be in the can by the end of the month.
I'm about half way there.
I was reading Josh Pais' blog. He was recently in a car accident, and (more…)
You can see all the songs I've been working on for my #300songs project here. I've got a goal of 200 subscribers to my YouTube channel by the end of March. Can you help? Subscribe and help spread the word!
Over the last few months, I've been digging into what I really enjoy: music (over 30 songs are in the can now!), performing (check my upcoming gigs here), and learning about people. Specifically, I've been swimming through books like these about finding and living your true purpose. Ultimately, it all comes down to two things: connecting to your soul, and leading with your strengths.
Coming from someone that espouses the notion that you can follow your passion, build a Noble Empire and live an inspired life, that sounds kind of blasphemous, right? Well, let me explain...
See, you can't be whatever you want to be. You MUST be exactly who you are called to be. Sometimes, when our passion is aligned with our divine gifts, then we CAN be whatever we want to be, because what we want to be is exactly who we are called to be. But you can't just pick something because you see someone else doing it - or even because you might be proficient at it.
Is that confusing? Let me try again, with a little help from "Kung Fu Panda":
When "life happens" we buy into the illusion of control that Master Shifu so ardently defends and Master Oogway tenderly releases. I've maintained for a very long time that we are all born with what I call "undeniable gifts" - our personal arsenal of strengths that are meant to move us through this world with confidence toward success. When our gifts aren't suited to the demands that life throws in our face at any given moment, we dig in, start learning and "adapting" ourselves away from our strengths (instead of reaching out to get help from someone else who IS skilled at the issue we face).
We see our limitations as a deficiency on our part - something we've got to fix - instead of celebrating our innate, interdependent design.
What happens for many of us, though, is that, instead of returning to what we've been blessed to be good at once the storm is over, our strengths get buried, neglected, or overlooked in favor of those more "useful" skills. Your True Voice gets silenced.
It's then that our masterpiece gets covered over, stored away for a future day.
Many times, we never return, never dust off that masterpiece, and never display it with pride - because we're spending way too much time trying to fix what's broken, improve what's not working, instead of celebrating the glorious way God made us to be in this world.
Tom Rath said it best: "You cannot be anything you want to be - but you can be a lot more of who you already are."
Home Depot was faced with a big decision: keep growing at the expense of current stores, or reign in growth and tighten up what they're already doing to create more loyal customers. They knew when to call it quits and focus on what they do best. In an era when everyone is focused on "bigger" and "grow", Home Depot said "Hey, let's refine what's already working!" and they've seen great success in that.
What about you?
Are you focusing on what you do well, or bemoaning the fact that you're doing all kinds of stuff just to survive? Are you even in the arena of your undeniable gifts anymore, or have you locked that masterpiece up somewhere in the dusty attic of your ancient past?
It took me almost a decade to return to music with any meaningful effort. It's something I'm damn good at, but as a mom and wife, well it's not such a useful skill. Changing diapers, cleaning house, and keeping peace took priority over piano practice, learning new music, and touring.
"Life happened" all over me - and with it, the "shoulds". I let my own gifts go unnoticed because I was trying to be a better mom, wife and housekeeper. There just wasn't time left in my day to sing the songs God had already planted in my heart.
But somewhere inside my head, I had drummed up the notion that I was a bad person if I didn't learn how to do all that other stuff. An while it's true, we all need to learn some skills outside our comfort zone, it's important to remember that we've been blessed with gifts that will nurture us when we share them with the world.
I'm changing that now. I'm returning to my regular rehearsal schedules, dusting off old tunes, and for the first time in a long time, I'm even writing new ones. And the world responds accordingly. New contacts arise and new opportunities are offered in alignment with my dharma. I'm speaking more, getting on stage more, and in general, loving more of what life is offering. In short, I'm being more of who I already am, and less of what I'm not.
It's not always easy, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Far too many of us walk around regurgitating what others have said, doing what others have done, that we forget about our own "you-nique-ness", as I've called it before. We want "blueprints" and insider help from a so-called "guru". We want the answers when we don't even always know the questions yet.
Yet, we see and understand truths we don't always articulate. We hear the voices in the heads of those around us not yet courageous enough to say what they're thinking. Sometimes we're one of them, and sometimes we speak up, step out, and shine a little - even if only for a moment.
One woman I know said it was like a big target was on her back. To her, being visible meant people were poised to attack her the minute she began to shine.
I hope I'm not the only one here who relates to that idea.
(more…)This week, I spent a lot of time rehearsing songs from the 1980's. This one is STILL a popular tune at my local karaoke hangouts. I secretly think we're all still trying to re-live the 80's.
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