[Editor's Note: I've known Sarah for several years, stalking her at first, and eventually hiring her as a coach and consultant in my business. Her work on developing fiercely-loyal communities has been, hands down, the best training I've ever gotten from her. In fact, this is Sarah's third appearance on the blog (Here's part of our last interview). I'm thrilled she's joined us for this series to help you share your true voice more courageously with your budding Noble Empire.]
People often ask me “How did you do what you did at Escaping Mediocrity? That tribe was, and still is, rabid.”
When I look back to the beginning, I didn’t set out with a formal strategy to “build a rabid tribe”. What I set out to do was build the space I longed for and couldn’t find. I was exhausted by the sameness of all the blogs out there. The glossed-over lives of people I was supposed to aspire to be like. Business strategies that just felt wrong. No real conversations about what it’s really like to be an entrepreneur.
I wanted something else. So I built it. I remember saying to someone at the time “I’m absolutely certain that at least two people will read my blog for the next month or so. They’re my best friends so they have to.” I really had no idea who else, if anyone, would show up. And my friends would only stick around for so long.
At that point, I made three pivotal decisions (more…)
By Doug Knight
[Editor's Note: This is Day 13 of the Be Your Own Guru series. Today, we roll into more of the "brass tacks" of building a Noble Empire. I met Doug at a local TEDx event, and was blown away not only by his passion for non-profit work, but also his ecclectic music tastes. Over the past year, I've come to learn how dad-gummed smart he is. If you're looking to dive into a new venture, this could be the kick start (or the warning flag) you've been looking for.]
A friend of mine asked me the other day, “How do you…you know… start something?” My friend was having trouble articulating what truly he was trying to get me to talk about, but after a round of drinks it came out a little easier to understand.
Ah…. got it. The old “High Risk, Tough-to-see-but-know-its-
It’s one of those weird things, especially now with our economic situation as a country (broke), as a typical American (in debt), and as a community (“get a real job” talkers). But I think the first thing I would say to someone who is even just considering such a move is to first ask yourself…. “Are you Happy?”
Now this “do what you’re happy at” talk is obvious to many and simple to say (hard to do). But I don’t just mean the personal happiness that you perceive in your dreams when you see yourself as the President/CEO/Chief Food Taster at Honkin’ Industries, Inc.
I’m not talking about money or being a boss per se; I’m talking about that happiness that happens when you live by a “Work Hard, Play Hard” mentality – where you’re not sure when you are working and when you are playing because both bring you so much JOY.
Being happy also doesn’t mean always in the positive column. You must also know (it is guaranteed) (more…)
[Editor's note: Today is day 13 in the Be Your Own Guru series. I met Tiffany as a contestant on Prosperity's Kitchen. Her mission spoke to me, as I hope it will you. Her commitment to helping young girls take ownership of their dreams is something we can all learn from as we strive to reconnect to our true voice and trust ourselves again.]
Think about a time in your life, around age five or so. Remember how you knew you could do anything you wanted? How you knew you could change the world?
You got excited, you were present, and you didn’t give a crap what anybody else thought.
But most of us lose it, to some extent, along the way. We let other people dictate what we’ll do with our lives. The kids that grow up and go on to rock the world are the ones that still have that passion as they grow older. They never lost sight of their awesome - or they reclaimed it in adulthood.
How do we reclaim our awesomeness? If we’ve lost it, do we even have time to get it back?
Follow these steps to be present again in your life, and embrace your awesome.
1. Allow yourself to feel pain. You’ve got to make that emotional connection, or it’s just not going to stick. Take some time for yourself one afternoon. Go someplace you really enjoy being and where you can concentrate, and bring a pen and paper with you. Start listing all the things you
wanted to do and be when you were little. List all the dreams you had. Big and small, crazy and doable. You’ll start to notice something: you’re getting a little not-so-fun gut feeling, you’re realizing the pure joy you had when you had those dreams. Determine that from this point forward, you will dream and you will help support others in their dreams. This is your little mourning period.
2. Dream those dreams and be a believer. My daughter and I believe in fairies. Sure, we’ve never actually seen them, but do you know how absolutely exciting things are when you believe in the possibility of them? Life is no longer seen through practical black and white glasses. There’s color and beauty and huge dreams and possibilities. Whatever it takes, dream. Write it down each day. Make a vision board. Keep those dreams alive and start looking at the world from that vantage point.
3. Help someone else dream. This might be your spouse, child, friend, neighbor. It doesn’t matter. When you help someone else dream, you get caught up in those happy feelings. It’s no longer about you, but how you can help that person realize their dream. When you’re in this spot, you start dreaming again yourself.
Technology, books, mentors are very useful, but to get started with anything in your life, you first need to check-in with yourself. You’ll see the untapped potential there.
I’d love to know: what were your childhood dreams? What are your big dreams now? Let me know in the comments below!
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Tiffany Manley helps girls realize that they can find all they need to sparkle and shine within themselves. She uses education appreciation, career exploration, & confidence construction to help girls realize they can dream gargantuan dreams - and that they can achieve them. Her website is a collection of resources for boosting self-confidence in young women (and their moms!), homeschooling, and more. You can also connect with Tiffany on twitter.
[Note: This is day 12 of the Be Your Own Guru blog series. Today's video offers you an opportunity to think about how perception works in real time, and how living your life according to your own perceptions can be both a blessing and a curse.]
We all walk through life with preconceived notions about our world.
We call them beliefs.
Often, these beliefs color every interaction we have - without us even realizing it.
If you carry a belief that strangers are dangerous, you'll behave differently than if you were raised to be cordial to strangers.
Neither belief is inherently good or bad. Neither belief guarantees a positive or negative outcome.
In the video below, you'll see a piece of paper. What color is it?
That question seems simple enough, right? I mean, you can look at it and easily see that it's pink, right?
Clearly, anyone with a fully functional ocular device can tell it's pink. Right?
Well, it all depends on what side of the paper you're standing on.
In the video, I challenge you to consider (more…)
[Note: this is Day 11 of the Be Your Own Guru series. It's a poem that came to me when I was researching a quote that's often attributed to Bruce Lee. "I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine." is actually a line from the "Gestalt Prayer" by Fritz Perls. It let me to think about how much stuff we don't say or do because of the expectations of others. This poem was inspired from there.]
There are words you want to say that remain unsaid.
Why not just say them instead?
Sometimes the truth is painful and hurts,
but I'd rather truth flow freely, than in spurts
that stop and start, or ebb and flow.
When the truth is irregular, how will you know?
People wear masks of perfection or shame. (more…)
[Note: This is Day 10 in the Be Your Own Guru blog series. And this is about the time when people start to feel overwhelmed, "behind" or they just feel like quitting in general. Is that you? If so, read on!]
There comes a point on every journey where you need to decide if you're going to stand up for what you say you believe, or quit.
"It's when things seem hardest that you must not quit." is the closing line of Whittier's famed poem "Don't Quit."
That's easier said than done sometimes.
Most of the time, actually.
See, there's a relief that comes in quitting... in letting something unravel so that you can walk away.
Maybe, like me, it's more than one of those things - or all of them at the same time. I've let things unravel a few times in my life. I moved across country when things were too lonely at college. I moved back home, cross country again, when things got too hard and lonely out West. Each time, I left stuff behind for other people to clean up. And don't get me started on the number of houses I've moved out of since I've been back in Michigan. I've left plenty of things behind I wasn't willing to deal with anymore. It was just to much/overwhelming/hard for me to sift through all those old things/memories, and decide what to keep. So I just let it all go.
I've even done it with a business or two. It got too hard. My heart wasn't in it. I was looking for relief.
But now, I'm standing in a space where hard is pressing in on all sides, and it's the kind of hard that tests my mettle. It's a situation (several, actually), where I've been called on the carpet and my beliefs are being put to the test. If I really believe in what I say I believe in, I must behave in a certain way, otherwise, I'm just paying lip service to what I say is my truth.
Ever been there?
Shoot! It's even hard to just quit - I mean you've already invested a ton of time, (more…)
by Joy Holland
[Editor's note: This is day 9 in the Be Your Own Guru series. Joy's post is a timely reminder that once we have answers from our life, we need to act on them - by fully living our best life.]
I like to write in reflection, using my personal example as something you can tap into if you wish, instead of a “lecture” format. I believe there are myriad ways to move, and I love learning from the variance in those ways. This is simply one way for you to consider.
“Be Your Own Guru” implies a depth of wisdom, knowledge, and life experience. Simply reading this sentence feels restrictive, constrained. For how do I know I am acquiring “enough” or the “right” knowledge and experience? Is wisdom based upon the amount of years I have lived or what I have lived in those years? How shall I earn the trust of myself to be my guru? All of this feels very external, and out of my control—I am striving, reaching, vesting energy to, something outside of myself.
When I go beyond what I know to what I feel, I (more…)
[Editor's Note: This is Day 8 of the Be Your Own Guru blog series. Dave and I go back a few years, having appeared together in a local production of "The Who's Tommy" in 2007. Every time I talk to him, I learn something new about him. Today's post opened my eyes to how deeply spiritual this guy is - and how his life lessons can help you with yours.]
At age 54, I have worn many career hats; bicycle racer, retail management, financial guru, teacher of science and English, coach of skiing, soccer and fitness. Throughout my life, one theme has been a constant. I have always been an educator and my first client has always been myself. I have never asked more of my athletes and students than I did of myself. I have never asked those in my charge to do anything that I didn’t try on myself first.
From a soccer perspective:
FITNESS – Can you run hard for the ninety minutes of a game?
TECHNIQUE – Can you consistently perform the skills of the game, e.g. direct your headers to a teammate?
TACTICS – Can you, on the fly, identify an opponent’s strengths and weaknesses to defeat your opponent?
For maximum athletic success, the three are closely intertwined. For instance, at the end of a long soccer game, if one is able to identify a weakness in the opponent’s defense, one must still be strong enough to use proper technique to complete a pass to a teammate for a scoring opportunity. Lacking a leg, you will surely lose.
Life, too, has three legs: (more…)[Note: This is Day 7 of the Be Your Own Guru blog series. When you've been strapped to baggage for years, sometimes it feels like you'll never shake it Today's post gives you a context and hopefully some inspiration to begin shaking your own baggage.]
I've never been the tiniest supermodel on the runway. I don't think I'm ugly (I've done a lot of work on my self-esteem over the years), and still I recognize that my weight has never been where it's "supposed" to be. As a young child, I was the tallest kid in class. When the boys started passing me, I quickly became the "biggest" kid in other ways. As I got older, I tried lots of things to lose the excess baggage, but it was just exactly that.
I'm what you might call an "emotional eater" - though I couldn't find a strict definition among the various eating disorder websites that matched how I deal with food. Essentially, when I'm stressed I eat... and eat... and eat. The same for when I'm sad, or even really happy. Instead of people, my emotional extremes have always been met with food of one kind or another. (more…)
I believe that our lives speak to us in many different ways, some more subtle than others. (more…)