For some of us, there comes a time in life when it feels like everyone has given up on you.
You might even feel like giving up on yourself.
Don't.
As I write this, I've just returned from spending the day in the hospital with my oldest son. Suffice it to say he's on the brink of giving up on himself. He waffles, as I suspect many teenagers do, between thinking he's the greatest thing since sliced bread and seriously wondering why anyone "wastes" their time with him.
If you've followed me for any length of time, you know the trials (more…)
by Dave Ursillo
[Editor's note: This is Day 21 of the Be Your Own Guru series - and this week we're getting into a lot more "how to". This is Dave's second appearance in the series, and this 20-something whippersnapper's got moxie. Take a cue from Dave today and let your mind flow and find more courage and confidence as you write.]
If you want to become your own guru -- a centered source for self-growth, burgeoning awareness and spiritual expansion -- you must write.
Now, I should say that I don't throw around must's and should's very often. And in this case the 'must' is only as true as your intrigue by the concept itself: that writing, beyond all other mediums and forms of human communication, is an extraordinary albeit complex means of not just sharing ideas and telling stories, but becoming deeply attuned to one's own truth, beliefs, ideals and aspirations.
I have come to believe that writing is the most divine of art forms. First, writing is a means of understanding: by putting pen to paper, you engage is a reflective (if not confrontational) process of facing your own truth. That means that, in writing, you are bound to encounter every fear and insecurity that plagues your subconscious; every shred of hope and aspiration that makes your heart beat; every touch of pain that has ever scraped your skin and each taste of love that has ever graced your lips.
As you dig, you will learn. And the old, outdated, naive (more…)
[Editor's note: This is day 20 of the Be Your Own Guru series. Teresa is a friend as well as a colleague. She's most effective at providing experiential examples around abundance and feelings of scarcity. I practically begged her to do a video so that you could get a very visual, experiential take on why doing/making"more" isn't always the answer to your "not enough" problem.]
Video Highlights (more…)
[Editor's note: This is Day 16 of the Be Your Own Guru series. This is Melanie's first adventure as a guest contributor to ANY blog, and I'm humbles to share her voice today. Melanie brings the perspective of an artist and an intuitive to this conversation. She reminds us that we all have our own guru inside ourselves - and it's time to let it shine.]
Guru: the act of being a pure, spiritually aligned wise one.
Are you your own guru, or is someone else? Do you feel that this thing they are is separate and nothing to do with your own existence? Are they teachers and gurus who convince you they’ve got it down and are perfect super uber spiritual beings? (& Perhaps you're not?)
Well perhaps they have it down.
BUT
Everyone is unique.
Everyone is diverse.
Everyone has a different life...
Culture...
Take on things...
Approach...
Awareness...
Gifts.
If we are all unique, so are (more…)
[Editor's note: Today is day 13 in the Be Your Own Guru series. I met Tiffany as a contestant on Prosperity's Kitchen. Her mission spoke to me, as I hope it will you. Her commitment to helping young girls take ownership of their dreams is something we can all learn from as we strive to reconnect to our true voice and trust ourselves again.]
Think about a time in your life, around age five or so. Remember how you knew you could do anything you wanted? How you knew you could change the world?
You got excited, you were present, and you didn’t give a crap what anybody else thought.
But most of us lose it, to some extent, along the way. We let other people dictate what we’ll do with our lives. The kids that grow up and go on to rock the world are the ones that still have that passion as they grow older. They never lost sight of their awesome - or they reclaimed it in adulthood.
How do we reclaim our awesomeness? If we’ve lost it, do we even have time to get it back?
Follow these steps to be present again in your life, and embrace your awesome.
1. Allow yourself to feel pain. You’ve got to make that emotional connection, or it’s just not going to stick. Take some time for yourself one afternoon. Go someplace you really enjoy being and where you can concentrate, and bring a pen and paper with you. Start listing all the things you
wanted to do and be when you were little. List all the dreams you had. Big and small, crazy and doable. You’ll start to notice something: you’re getting a little not-so-fun gut feeling, you’re realizing the pure joy you had when you had those dreams. Determine that from this point forward, you will dream and you will help support others in their dreams. This is your little mourning period.
2. Dream those dreams and be a believer. My daughter and I believe in fairies. Sure, we’ve never actually seen them, but do you know how absolutely exciting things are when you believe in the possibility of them? Life is no longer seen through practical black and white glasses. There’s color and beauty and huge dreams and possibilities. Whatever it takes, dream. Write it down each day. Make a vision board. Keep those dreams alive and start looking at the world from that vantage point.
3. Help someone else dream. This might be your spouse, child, friend, neighbor. It doesn’t matter. When you help someone else dream, you get caught up in those happy feelings. It’s no longer about you, but how you can help that person realize their dream. When you’re in this spot, you start dreaming again yourself.
Technology, books, mentors are very useful, but to get started with anything in your life, you first need to check-in with yourself. You’ll see the untapped potential there.
I’d love to know: what were your childhood dreams? What are your big dreams now? Let me know in the comments below!
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Tiffany Manley helps girls realize that they can find all they need to sparkle and shine within themselves. She uses education appreciation, career exploration, & confidence construction to help girls realize they can dream gargantuan dreams - and that they can achieve them. Her website is a collection of resources for boosting self-confidence in young women (and their moms!), homeschooling, and more. You can also connect with Tiffany on twitter.
[Note: This is Day 7 of the Be Your Own Guru blog series. When you've been strapped to baggage for years, sometimes it feels like you'll never shake it Today's post gives you a context and hopefully some inspiration to begin shaking your own baggage.]
I've never been the tiniest supermodel on the runway. I don't think I'm ugly (I've done a lot of work on my self-esteem over the years), and still I recognize that my weight has never been where it's "supposed" to be. As a young child, I was the tallest kid in class. When the boys started passing me, I quickly became the "biggest" kid in other ways. As I got older, I tried lots of things to lose the excess baggage, but it was just exactly that.
I'm what you might call an "emotional eater" - though I couldn't find a strict definition among the various eating disorder websites that matched how I deal with food. Essentially, when I'm stressed I eat... and eat... and eat. The same for when I'm sad, or even really happy. Instead of people, my emotional extremes have always been met with food of one kind or another. (more…)
[Editor's Note: This is Day Five in the Be Your Own Guru series. Katrina lives in Hadley, MA - just far enough from Boston to not be in Lockdown, but close enough to recognize the danger at her door. She submitted this post before the tragic happenings of the past few days, and it's a fitting reminder that sometimes, the best way to make forward progress is to go backwards.]
We spend so much time in our lives looking forward, moving forward, and dealing with things in front of us. It’s almost as if our bodies are trapped in tunnels - constantly moving forward, unable to shift direction. We forget to check the periphery of our space or of our lives. We lack time for exploration.
Literally, and especially figuratively. All of this "forward motion" leaves us without awareness of so many parts of our lives - both in movement and beyond. We stop rotating our spine to see the world around us. We forget to look up. Our breath gets stuck in our sternum, our oxygen levels decline, and our necks tilt forward. Even our spines compress, as a gradual shrinking forces our bodies into the tunnel of forward movement. (more…)
By Amy Wright
[Editor's Note: This is day four of the Be Your Own Guru series. Amy's got a keen eye when it comes to leveraging your time. She pulls no punches today when she shows you just what you're missing out on by trying to do everything yourself.]
Maybe you’re lying to yourself, following conventional wisdom that says you’re “saving money” or “paying your dues” while you do everything in your business yourself.
It’s all crap.
Let’s pretend that you’re a life coach of some sort (feel free to insert your profession here). You make roughly $100 hourly while you’re coaching. Let’s also pretend that, like most business owners, you have insane amounts of email, billing, scheduling, phone calls, social media and marketing that you do every week. Let’s say that those administrative tasks take you about 15 hours each week, and that’s only because that’s all the time you have to commit to it.
Now let’s say (more…)
by Stu
[Editor's Note: This is Day Three of the Be Your Own Guru blog series. Stu gives us a clear understanding of What a guru really is - and where to find yours today.]
I never thought much about "Gurus" until I was in school. I had a teacher that would tell us entertaining stories about her retired teacher. They would always end with, what I found to be, the strangest comment: "I'm on a never-ending search to find my new Guru." I would think, Hmmm... being in a school, you would be surrounded by gurus, right?"
I was right... but I found that out later, at the bottom of a rabbit hole.
Anyone on a path to wisdom, to finding the secrets of life, has come across the notion of a Guru. We inevitably hear about this Guru, that Guru, or even "my" Guru. It conjures up images of a half-in-this-world-half-not levitating apparition. But who is your Guru? ... and what exactly IS a guru?
It's insane to ask that question!
A Guru is someone who has the answers to your questions, possesses a wisdom of unfathomable proportion, one with knowledge not of this earth. Sounds fantastic! But...
Can there possibly be one person with all and total knowledge? Can one person know the right and perfect path for every other person? No matter your belief system, possessing all knowledge = not being human... or being nailed to a cross. So what do they have... these "Gurus"? (more…)
[Editor's note: This is the same post I began the last series with. It may seem like a crappy way to title the start of this series, but I want to jump in and shake your snow globe right away. Remember, I've seen the posts that are coming up, and our guests have put out some amazing ideas. I have to kick things off in an equally awesometastic way. So here goes...]
While working with a client – a six-figure leader in her company, she said “I’m nothing special.”
“That’s right.” I said. “There’s nothing any more special about you than anyone else. There’s also nothing less special about you than anyone else.”
Believe it. That’s where strength and confidence comes from. (more…)