When I'm working with my clients, often times they'll speak about something that "always happens" to them. Something that seems to come out of the blue, and yet, when we drill down, we discover that it's usually rooted in a lack of awareness about the cause of that "something".
In The PEACE System, I illustrate how many "emergencies" are a result of neglecting a must-do activity for too long. Like when failing to perform the routine preventative maintenance on your car often leads to a flat tire or another car "emergency". Or when neglecting to take care of your health leads to a stay in the hospital.
My clients are smart cookies. They've got a lot goin' on upstairs... they've also usually got a few too many things going on in other areas of their life and/or biz. Thus, the lack of awareness around work and life balance issues.
So today, I'm giving you, dear reader, a piece of advice that isn't really mine to give. I've seen it in various forms from different voices both online and off. This is just the version I share with my clients.
"Why do you blog so much?'
It was a valid question. And I tried to be open to where the truth laid within me.
Silence.
Not because I was unwilling to answer, but because the tears started choking me.
I mungled my way through some explanation about how it's an outlet for me to talk to people in the hopes that what I'm sharing will actually help someone.
Because that's where all my hope lies: that the crap I endure from day to day (and the good stuff, too), will somehow help someone else have a better time of it while they're on this rock we call Earth.
My coach and I have a deal: I am ruthlessly honest, and try not to go against everything she says (since I'm an 8 according to the Enneagram), and she plays it straight and "spicy" with me - never letting me off the hook for something. She helps me see my world through different eyes (a good coach is NOT a 'yes man'!).
Most of the time I love her, but in this very bare moment, I'm feeling cornered, and really want to hate her for a minute.
I guess it's a good thing she's also my friend.
"Well, maybe it's not serving you to do a blog series."
My "yeahbuts" start emerging, and we have a nice deep discussion about profitability, giving too much away, and finding the patterns in my offerings.
It was probably one of the most difficult (and necessary) conversations in recent memory, complete with stamping my feet and an "I don't wanna" at least once (okay, maybe twice) during the call. Especially since the thing I didn't tell her was that this series felt truly divinely inspired as a way to open up to my more spiritual self... that piece of my True Self that has been lurking and shimmering in the background for so many years.
All at once, I felt like it was an affront to a very spiritual decision I had made, to create a very public, very spiritual thing (at least for me at this stage in my journey), that I felt called to do in a matter of service, to you.
Who ever "you" may be. And that was precisely the point my coach was making (and I needed to hear it).
My business, as of late, has been a hodge podge of all-0ver-the-map stuff. Quite frankly, that's the way my life's been, too, for so many years, that I'm not sure I know another way of being.
"What is it that you do, Lisa? What is the theme?" she prods.
At this point, I really just want her to tell me because I'm tired. Funny how that works.
I got pouty and stamped my feet (okay, that's not the beautiful part). And in exasperation, it poured out of me:
"I'm so sick and tired of hearing the excuses! From clients, from would-be clients, from people who've never even tried. People are so much more capable than they believe, but their excuses get in the way. Why can't they just see that?"
Or something like that. Seriously, I felt like I was channeling that answer from either some place way beyond me, or some place deep within me - which is probably the same place if you examine it truthfully.
In order to get to the truly delicious stuff, I had to be willing to do the hard work of listening to what I didn't want to hear.
You've sometimes got to do the thing you don't like, because it's good for you. I've done this before, so I'm no stranger to it. I'm starting to think it's part of the truth of life.
"Before the truth 'sets you free,' it tends to make you miserable." - Richard Rohr
After conversing with my coach, I had the the angel/devil discussion going on in my head. One telling me to bag the series, the other telling me to tell her to get bent and do the series anyway.
Neither happened.
One thing I'm continuing to learn on my impatient journey is the power and value of being willing to wait - which is still incredibly painful and difficult for my forward-motion-craving self.
So I sat in the space between those two options for a day.
The series did go on, and I did not tell my coach to get bent.
Because I needed to hear that perspective. I needed to be willing to let those words fall into my brain and swim around. I needed to be willing to check back in with myself and face the possibility of cranking out a useless blog series, and ask myself if I was still willing to do it anyway.
And yes, dear reader, this series was one of those things I couldn't NOT do.
Because in my conversation with my coach, for the first time in my adult life, I fell into complete resonance with what I feel like I'm supposed to be about in the world (more on that in a future post), and got even more clarity about the doing of it.
For someone like me, that's a big deal.
Which brings me to today's prompt for your consideration:
I mean really willing. Like, "I don't care if it hurts, or is hard, at least I'll be feeling something real for a change." THAT kind of willing. We don't always enjoy parts of the journey. Heroes face very challenging opponents, get banged around a bit, and I've never once seen that happen and have the hero say "Hot Damn! That was fun! Let's do it again!"
No, being willing to throw yourself into the fray is tough stuff, my friend.
But it is where you meet your True Self. It is where you learn what you're really made of. It's where the milquetoasty among us lose out and stay with their pablum, never knowing their true capabilities.
It's not always rocky, but I can pretty much guarantee there will be some rough spots along the ride. So the first question you must ask yourself is "Am I willing?"
Are you willing to struggle for a purpose - rather than needlessly?
Are you willing to stand in the raging waters and feel them rush about you - maybe even push you around a little until you get your bearings?
Are you willing to hear what you don't want to hear because it's good for you and will help you more than any "yes man" ever could?
If so, you just might meet yourself along the way.
==========
If you're ready to dig into the heart of what really motivates you, eliminate self-sabotage, and live an inspired life, consider enrolling in an upcoming "Essential Why Workshop" and build your own Noble Empire.
Got big dreams? Hold fast to them, and don't be afraid to pray for excellence. Many times, visionary creatives have lofty goals and ambitions, but we're met with staunch criticism when we share them. This forces us to either stop sharing, or aim lower.
Don't be that person. Instead, when things are getting to you, watch this video:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l6BZtMb3OE&hl=en_US&version=3&rel=0]
It's not enough, though to watch a video, or pray for God to make you good at something. You must also do the work. What are you going to do today to move yourself closer to your dreams?
[Editor's note: this is a re-post from January 2012. Part 4 of a series of year-end posts I write each year. When we migrated to the new site design, all the old posts were archived. Here are posts 1, 2 and 3]
Every year, I pick a word to frame my development. I also pick a "theme song" to underscore my morning mindset work. I get to dig in and rock on each morning with a tune that pretty much sets me up for the day I want to have, the life and business I want to create.
Last year, my word was "ENTHUSIASM" (yes, I decided on all caps about half way through the year) - the idea being to infuse more spirit into everything I was doing. My theme song was Matthew West's "The Motions". I would lip sync and sing and conjure my own "rock videos" in my living room - like I was going to be on American Idol or something. It was funny, but it was also a very honest reflection of the kind of enthusiasm I really wanted to imbue in every action, every effort, every everything in 2011.
This year, after a daunting 2011 (hey, I asked for it!), I figured I needed to power up a bit, and picked "brave" as my word o' the year. I also selected Nichole Nordeman's song by the same name (some of the lyrics are in the boxes below). (more…)
[Editor's note: this is a re-post from December 2011. Part 3 of a series of year-end posts I write each year. When we migrated to the new site design, all the old posts were archived. Here are posts 1 and 2]
This is an ongoing topic of discussion for me. Fear is one of my most blogged about topics. So imagine my surprise when I attended a local metaphysical church and received a reading dealing expressly with fear. As accurately as I can recall, here's what she told me:
"For you, fear is everything. Spirit wants me to tell you that you need to put pen to paper, make a list, and write down all that you would do if there were no fear. You are capable of some amazing things, once you get past the fear."
The other reading was about a heavy weight that I've been carrying that will be lifted soon. I'm hoping that's something to do with my oldest's graduation from the wilderness camp he's been at for nearly two years now.
But I digress...
For those of you new to, or uncomfortable with the idea of intuitive readings, I try to take an approach that's comparable to what scripture tells us regarding prophecy and those who prophesy. At this moment in my life, I don't believe that anyone has all the answers for my life, so I'm willing to take any guidance that is presented to me and take it under advisement in prayer. It is foolish, to me, to ignore such gifts, and equally foolish to take them blindly at face value. Since I often get intuitive hits myself, I know that you can't always explain how or why you "know" something about someone or a situation. That doesn't negate the value or potential validity of the message being offered.
So as I'm wrestling with this intuitive guidance, my friend, Amy Oscar, decides to launch a December writing circle with this prompt.
Each year, I pick a theme and a song to undergird my doings for the year. This year's song was "The Motions" by Matthew West, because my theme was "Enthusiasm". I wanted to infuse everything I brought to the table with spirit, zest, and life. I didn't want to go through the motions or pay lip service to anything I was about this year. I'd say I hit my goal most of the time, although there was definite room for improvement in this area.
For 2012, I chose "Brave" as my theme, and the song "Brave" by Nichole Nordeman
My journey includes pit stop destinations of two new books, a new music CD (it's been a few years since the last one), and an interactive television program where viewers can actually be part of the program and help shape the direction of the story lines. And, if I have to, I'll go it alone, but I plan to enlist the help of many friends for this journey (that would be you, and others, silly bean!).
I'm also bringing my can-do attitude, my duct tape, pocket knife, laptop, smartphone, and chewing gum. MacGyver would be proud, me thinks.
I look at my living room, which is slowly starting to empty out of storage unit mode and back into living room mode. I recognize that I (and my family) have carried around a lot of lifecrap for years and years. Like the boxes in the living room, it will be a slower, more deliberate process to clear out. I am determined to leave as much of it behind in 2011 when 2012 dawns. For me, this is at least as significant as any of the pitstops my 2012 journey may provide.
Oh, and presuming the world doesn't actually end in 2012, I'm looking forward to plotting a virtual retreat during the holidays next year.
Let the games begin!
[Editor's note: this is a re-post from January 2011. Part 2 of a series of year-end posts I write each year. When we migrated to the new site design, all the old posts were archived.]
[Editor's note: this is a re-post from November 2010. Part of a series of year-end posts I write each year. When we migrated to the new site design, all the old posts were archived.]
Often times, we as creators find ourselves in a bind.
Okay, bind is not the right word. Neither is stuck. It's more like being trapped in a building that's collapsed.
We're gasping for oxygen, battling with ourselves over whether we should scream out for help or conserve what little oxygen we have. (more…)
I'm learning that many of my best posts come out of a convergence of three moments in my life. This post is no different.
The first is a piece of my long lost past.
When I was a kid, the mother of a very good friend (who nearly committed suicide after his dad died), told me a story - about crawdads in a bucket. They just keep pulling each other back down. If there's only one in the bucket, it's really easy to escape, but when you add just a couple, they sabotage each other's success, in an effort to keep everyone at the same level of "existence."
The lesson I walked away with was the idea that it only takes one or two insidious crawdads to really impede your rise to the top. You have to be very careful about who you let into your bucket. (more…)
My husband and I were grocery shopping yesterday. That's a rare occurrence. Usually, it's just one of us navigating the aisles of the store. But yesterday was our first day back from vacation, and we had to return the rental car, so it just made sense to get the shopping done on the way home. We're so practical like that.
In the store, I saw this card. Normally, I'm not one to take a picture of a greeting card, but this one really struck a chord with me. First there's the lovely blue butterfly. My eye is instinctively drawn to anything that is electric blue in color, and the butterfly is a powerful symbol of transformation (my friend Teresa wrote a great article about butterflies and transformation here).
Then, there's that sentence. A sentence that bothers me in all the right ways. One of my core beliefs is that we all have a unique gift that we were put on this earth to share with our world. As a creative entrepreneur, sometimes it's easier to see that we have a gift. But in truth EVERYONE has a gift. We all have a Divine purpose, as far as I'm concerned. Too many of us, however, have that purpose smothered, buried, or otherwise silenced. We become like that masterpiece collecting dust in the attic that I've talked about before. (more…)