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It started innocently, as revolutions often do.
I've been working (and re-working) my branding and messaging for the past year, and nothing really seemed to hit the mark. I dove into course after course that offered bits and pieces of what I was hoping would help me craft a clearer direction for me as both an artist and entrepreneur. As usual, some were better than others. While class is still in session in at least one of those programs, I want to update you on a major ah-ha I got from Revolution U579, the brainchild of author and all-round good guy, Jonathan Fields.
It probably sounds better when the Beatles sing it. Jonathan's premise is that instead of creating a business, we can create a commercial revolution that sets us apart in our industry as well as in the minds of our biggest fans. We stand for something bigger than just the "stuff" we sell.
That sounds like a pretty sexy idea to me.
RevU takes you through a series of exercises and prompts to ultimately identify the core idea of your revolution. Jonathan asks what you're moving away from and what will supplant the old dictatorial regime. For me, it boiled down to one simple idea:
As kids, our hearts are full of whimsical fantasies and never-ending stories about our biggest dreams. Firemen, princesses580, becoming a rock star. We keep on dreaming until, one day, something happens, or someone else enters our lives and slowly, those dreams get squashed, squelched, or otherwise relegated to some dusty corner in the attic of our minds581... often to never be revisited again.
582That's when death begins. It's slow, plodding, and sad. Most of the time, we don't even realize it's happening to us. Someone tells us we're too loud, or too enthusiastic, or a bit obnoxious about our dream, so we turn the volume down. Little by little, (more…)
I am thrilled to be a guest this week on my the Current Inspiration blog, wherein I share my simple 2-step process for gaining instant invincibility. My secret? I use an army of Grandmas:
Okay, maybe not exactly like this, or even this:
But it's a quick and easy technique that's helped me through some pretty tough stuff (like being in court for 4 hours this week waiting to find out the results of a plea agreement in my youngest son's case.). If you could use a shot of invincibility every now and then, check out Pam's blog and tell her I sent ya!
I remember it like it was yesterday. 4th floor of Darrow Hall, BGSU. A throng of students were piled into and onto my friend Angela's futon "loft" bunk bed. She had the coolest room (and furniture) in the dorm by far, and there had to be at least twelve people crammed into that little shoebox room. I was late to the party and everyone was camped around the TV set watching "The Princess Bride".
I got there just as the sword fight was beginning. I'd never seen the 1987 movie before (it was considered a "classic" by 1993 - don't judge me), so I was asking questions trying to get up to speed. Mesmerized by the hypnotic choreography and delicious one-liners ("get used to disappointment"), I was shushed more than I was answered.
By the end of the film, however, it had become one of my all-time favorite movies. I still randomly quote passages from the movie on facebook just to see who is paying attention.
Inconceivable, I know.
Little did I know that some 20 years later, that movie would become not just a quintessential classic from my young adulthood, it would also teach me a lot about life, and specifically, about pursuing my dreams.
In the spirit of Bec Oakley's post, here are 12 lessons I learned from "The Princess Bride" if you really want to go for your dreams.
1. "You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles."
Stuff takes time. And just because you're not where you think you should be, doesn't mean you're not where you need to be. It's a hard-won journey to cross the eel-infested waters, scale the Cliffs of Insanity, and brave the Fire Swamp to reclaim what matters most to you. Even Dorothy couldn't click her heels together until after the journey was over. (more…)
[Note: I originally wrote this post a few years ago, for my Business Action Hero website. I've refreshed it here because it's still relevant - maybe now more than ever.]
"If you are deliberately trying to create a future that feels safe, you will willfully ignore the future that is likely.”
- Seth Godin
It hit me between the eyes. This painful, jarring sensation at far too early on a Sunday morning - on a holiday weekend no less. This strange need for safety that we all seem to crave - even go out of our way to re-inforce.
Even if the result is less comfortable than pursuing change.
We don't want to rock the boat and get people mad at us. So we stay in the comfort zone. Maybe we push a little here and there, but we're not really making true progress on our own path.
It's here where we have to choose:
Because safety is the ultimate risk. Hoping and praying that nothing will change. Images of ostriches with their heads in the sand come to mind. They can't see that tornado bearing down on them, but golly, they sure feel safe!
[tweet "When it comes to owning your dreams, safety is the ultimate risk."]
Back in 2010, I had the honor of interviewing best-selling author Jonathan Fields about the upside of being an entrepreneur. During that interview, he said something that has stayed with me:
"There is no sideways in life. It's an illusion. There's only up and down. Usually this is the most horrifying scenario of all."
- Jonathan Fields
At first, I didn't want to believe it, but my own experience has validated that there's no standing still. You're either moving forward (as you define it) or you're getting left behind. When I interviewed him again for his second book, "Uncertainty", he offered up this gem:
"If you want to do great things in the world, you have to go to a place where you don't know how it's going to end."
- Jonathan Fields
(You can listen to that interview here.)
Since then, he's launched the Good Life Project and Revolution U, all the while, going where he'd never gone before. It's been fascinating and fun to watch. Clearly, this is a guy that continues to choose "adventure" over "safety".
Safety is your nemesis.
I don't mean you should recklessly throw caution to the wind. We need to be smart about the risks we're taking. Safety and security is one thing most of us crave - it's the foundation of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Without it, we don't feel like we can move forward.
But once we "have" it, we're less likely to move forward because of it. Safety means we don't have to push, strive, or work as hard because, well, we're safe, and nothing's going to happen to us in our safe space, right?
That's a wicked catch-22.
Safety works hard to keep you stuck - just as hard as you work to plow forward in your adventure.
"What if they don't like it?"
"What if they think I'm crazy?"
"What if it flops?"
"What will _____ say?"
"That's too hard/easy/fast/slow/tedious/tiresome/boring/good for me."
"I'd love to but I don't have enough ______ (or I am not ____ enough)."
We judge ourselves so harshly that we don't give ourselves a fighting chance. Let's change that!
Remember: perfection is an illusion. You're already as perfect as you're gonna get. You're human. To expect perfection 100% of the time will only cause more judgement (pain, resentment, frustration). Stuff happens that we call "failure". Big deal. Take a moment to celebrate the wins, stop staring at the door that closed, and look for your next steps.
The nature of a nemesis is that it has an equivalent level of power and sway. Think of The Joker and Batman, Prof. Moriarty and Sherlock Holmes. A nemesis is not easily defeated, but can be thwarted and often contained. It is when you underestimate your nemesis that it takes a foothold, and often wins a battle or two.
Simple, but not easy.
I have a friend who, for the past few years, has committed to posting on her blog every weekday. That's hundreds of posts each year for the past few years. I don't always catch every post, but today's post hit me between the eyes, so I thought I'd share it with you.
The little girl in the video says she wants to be a fairy when she grows up. (more…)
It was a business trip. 8 days in sunny Vegas, while my family was snowbound, just HAD to have some kind of a story, right?
SPOILER: this one begins with guilt, shame, and resentment, and ends up with me feeling like a princess, and six lessons you can use in the pursuit of your dreams.
Let me break it down for ya...
It began as most business trips do: with lots to do and not much time to get it all done. Between flights, a showroom rearrange before the annual January Gift Market, and training for the sales reps - not to mention the Gift Show itself, I really didn't expect to have any time to "enjoy" Vegas. I was, after all, there for work. An earlier version of myself would have holed up in my hotel room during all off hours and either slept (to make up for the time zone shift) or worked (because, well, I'm an overachiever like that).
Not this time. (more…)
It's a pretty audacious claim, isn't it?
For years, I've been walking around with 50-100 extra pounds on my frame. Well-meaning friends and family have tried various ploys to "get" me to lose the weight, as if I was stubbornly holding onto it like a rainy day fund.
Like many people facing weight loss issues, I've put a lot of time energy and money into various weight loss programs, plans, schemes, and pipe dreams. At my highest, I've weighed close to 270 pounds. As an adult, my lowest weight (as I write this) was around 185 while I was in college (the first time).
According to all the charts and diagrams, no mater how you slice it, I've been overweight most of my life - and all of my adult life. Weight loss isn't as simple as "calories in, calories out" - although that does play a part. I'm also NOT a diet or nutrition expert, even though I've probably read as much as any health sciences student ever could on the topic. What I've learned, though, is that everyone's weight loss journey is personal. It HAS to be personal, or it's just too hard to stick with it.
So this year, I set a new priority on my health. The reasons aren't important right now, but I have them.
But reasons alone are not enough for me.
On long drives, I often take a couple audiobooks along for the ride. From my home base in Michigan, it's a fairly lengthy trek to Litchfield, CT - where my friend and colleague, Amy Oscar, hosted her first-ever Soul Caller retreat. The pristinely-quiet setting of Wisdom House gave this city girl plenty of time for contemplation, opening up, and revelatory introspection.
I'll get to some of that, but first, the audio book.
On this trip, I only took one: Michael Bernard Beckwith's book "Spiritual Liberation". It seemed fitting, considering this was mostly a trip for spiritual purposes (more on that "mostly" in a bit).
As I drove down the road, I heard Beckwith revealing his own story and spiritual journey. A one-time drug dealer that turned a new leaf and now leads one of the largest non-denominational spiritual centers in the U.S. But what really struck me was this passage: (more…)
First the important stuff: Happy birthday to meeeee!!
Second, the REALLY important stuff: My gift to you is this powerful conversation with Dave Ursillo. As part of his "conversations in purpose" series, Dave and I riff on one of the hardest things I've had to learn how to do: accept and own my value as a creator, a human, a person on this planet. We also touch on his work with the Literati Writers, how his first dream didn't go as planned, and the choices he's made that have led him to this point in his life and career.
Enjoy!
[Editor's note: This is the sixth in an annual series of posts I write to focus my efforts for the new year. You can find last year's post here. Here are links to parts 1, 2, 3 and 4.]
Inspire. Brave. ENTHUSIASM! Uncommon.
Each year, I try to pick a word or phrase that reflects my focus, my "theme" for the year. Then, at the end of said year, I look back and evaluate, before rinsing and repeating for the new year. For 2013, that theme was "Inspire".
I launched the year with a goal to record 300 songs. I fell short. I'd say embarrassingly short, but I'm not embarrassed by the results:
I learned a LOT about what it really takes to make a quality recording in your home. More than I thought I needed to know, frankly. I learned how grossly out of my depth I am with the audio engineering process, and how it's a lot more art than science.
I think I'll stick to the art I'm good at, thanks.
Still, 50+ songs is nothing to sneeze at, and while we had some hiccups on the copyright issues with some of our broadcasters (I'm talking to you, SoundCloud!), I finally got my music heard by new fans all over the world... a bucket list item for almost 30 years.
I also met and began working with an uber gifted arranger, and we started working on the tracks that will be on my new album - my first recording in almost 10 years!
The biggest hurdle to finishing the recordings wasn't a lack of skill, it was a lack of time. The one thing you can't predict going into a new year is what new and unexpected surprises will benefit or befall you. This year was a doozie! We were right on course until April, when I was hit with horrible news about a close friend and my youngest son. That's when everything on the music front took a tailspin.
I launched several new programs including my Dream Big Breakthrough, Get Your Year In Gear and the Spotlight Sessions. Not all of them were big winners, but all of them reflected the growth and new direction that 2013 was leading me in. On the direct sales training front, I hosted a year-end livestream conference that doubled as my retirement party. It had a few hiccups, but overall, it was well received and a powerful event to help direct sellers move into 2014 with confidence and know-how to build their own noble empire and inspired life.
We also did a site redesign for the direct sales website as it moves to a publishing platform in 2014. Oh, and my brilliantly gifted designer created a new logo that will go along with this website's re-launch in 2014. Here's a preview.
You might remember the phoenix. We resurrected it from The Renaissance Mom - remember that? I thought it fitting, since my whole life has been about overcoming, rising up from the ashes, and whatnot. The laurel represents achievement, hitting the mark, and the rewards & accolades that come from doing more of your Great Work in the world. I'll tell you more about it in a future post, but recognize that this is a meme for me: owning my dreams and living them fully. THAT is what 2013 taught me and what the focus for 2014 is.
We had a harrowing spring, when a friend of the family was arrested on charges of child sexual abuse - and my youngest was part of all that. We've spent a good deal of the year in recovery mode with him, and he's making amazing progress. My teenager's drama led to more court dates, which revealed even MORE underlying issues that we as a family had no clue about. It was a hellacious year for my family, and I think we've pulled through the hardest part. There's still more court dates to come, but I know we're on the right track, and there don't appear to be anymore oncoming trains on the horizon. My oldest just turned 17, so one way or another that responsibility will not be mine for much longer. His life is truly in his own hands.
"When it all came crashing down in tiny pieces to the ground, I was all alone down here, trapped beneath the atmosphere..."
- Learning To Be The Light
I lost (and lost touch with) a lot of friends through this rough patch. It really helps you get clarity on who's got your back when you're going through tough times. I'm grateful for those friends and family members who really came through in our dark hours this year, and hope I'll be in a place to return the favor at a later date. Those who've fallen by the wayside, while painful, remind me of the wisdom of Dr. Seuss: "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind, don't matter." I respect their needs to honor their boundaries, and pray they do the same for me and mine.
The upshot of all of this was that I got clarity on what really mattered to me. I got to see how much I matter to my kids and to my husband. I got to see how much I wasn't making myself or my self-care a priority. For as much as I preach on it, I still find myself ignoring my own self-care needs when things get stressful.
In truth, things probably get stressful because I'm neglecting my self-care in the first place. Oh the irony!
But because of all that clarity, I made some big decisions relating to my professional life.
I rolled up the sidewalks on my direct sales coaching practice. For the last 8 years I've been a coach and trainer to the direct selling industry as a solopreneur. It's been fun helping people do their best work and live their dreams. It's also been hard, being on the outside of an industry that's more of an old boy's network than anyone cares to admit. Since I'm not a game player, I've really had to forge my own path - and that's a lonely way to work. Plus, it's not the work I was put on this planet to do. I've gotten good at it. I enjoy it, and I know that God has a different purpose for me. So, after two years of hemming and hawing, and much hand-wringing, I got me a job.
Yep. A w-2 filing, income tax-withholding "j.o.b." - I'm still more or less in the sales arena, but it's more in alignment with my ultimate objective - which isn't to have a job for the rest of my life.
I'm still new here, and one of the youngest turks in the company, but nearly everything I'm doing is right in my wheelhouse. It gives me freedom to travel and, most importantly, allows me to have that financial stability (that I chased for 8 years as a coach) to pursue what God put me on this planet to do: write and perform.
I've been a storyteller my whole life: stories about overcoming adversity, empowerment, and being more than your circumstances. Sometimes I write them (here on the blog, or in books like this one), sometimes I record them (like the 300 songs project), sometimes I perform them live (as an actor or singer). But it's always been about the stories. It took me a good portion of this year to realize that.
My whole life has been about believing in the possibilities of people. That's my Great Work: I believe in people. I inspire people to see the possibility in themselves. I believe in people when they don't believe in themselves. It's a great (and dangerous) gift to have as a coach - and part of why I think I got so good at it. I've always looked at how I can make something happen, instead of why it won't work. But ultimately, coaching isn't the platform I'm supposed to be using to do my great work.
See, just because you're good at something, doesn't mean that's what you're meant to do. It just means you've had a lot of practice at it, and maybe some aptitude. My aptitude, combined with 8 years of practice gave me a strong foundational skill-set... and created a comfort zone that was difficult to step out of.
"...and now everything is falling into place. A brand new life is calling and I owe it all to grace."
- Learning To Be The Light
Yeah. That.
A LOT fell apart this year. Or should I say, it finished falling apart. We dissolved a business in 2012 and FINALLY was able to complete the bankruptcy proceedings this year. Which means, in MANY ways, 2014 is a clean slate.
I got to thinking during my annual planning process, that if it's really a clean slate, what do I want to write on it? How do I really want my life to look as I start down the barrel of turning 40 soon. I had goals and ambitions that I never got around to... until now that is.
There were a lot of nights (and mornings, and lunches) spent in prayer, meditation, & contemplation. I fought with God a LOT, and finally surrendered to a more difficult - and far more satisfying - path for my life. The words that kept coming up for me were "divine alignment" - stepping more fully into who I really am, who God called me to be in the world, and to do more of my Great Work on a global scale.
"You gave me something I want everyone to see."
- Learning To Be The Light
A friend of mine turned me on to this tune by NewWorldSon (thanks, Deb!), and I've listened to it so many times that I think I've burned a groove into my CD. I believe in my core that we're all given at least one Undeniable Gift to put to use for good in this world. This song really speaks to the longing I have in my heart to explore and share my gift with the world.
"Oh God I just want to love on everyone. All I have is Yours to give so let the people come"
- Learning To Be The Light
I know it's not a given that I can just step out onto a stage somewhere and start singing. There's work to be done. I laid some groundwork in 2013. I managed to get my book into the hands of more than 1100 people! I had at least one performance or speaking opportunity in every month of 2013. People got to hear my message - a message I'm still crafting an honing.
Gratefully, people are listening, and telling others, and joining the revolution. It's not just my journey - it's a journey we're all called to make: to own our dreams and share our gift with our world. That's what Divine Alignment is to me, and that's my focus for 2014. You'll hear more about it in coming posts, but for now, I'll let NewWorldSon say it:
"I'm learning to be the light that makes the shadows hide, the light that breaks the curse of pride, the light that takes the weary in it's arms."
- Learning To Be The Light